Words of Wisdom for Pilots

A good review, many old, some new, some false, most true.

--------------------------------------------

Fighter Pilots: Cold, steely eyed, weapons systems managers who kill bad
people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and
personable. The average Fighter Pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering
exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy
and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.

Words of Wisdom From Aviators

* Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

* Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents
the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter
fly-ins?

Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.

Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and
helicopters* (in that order) *need two.

There are only three things the copilot should ever say:

1. Nice landing, Sir.

2. I'll buy the first round.

3. I'll take the fat one.


As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:


a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last
flight.

b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your
last flight.


There are Rules and there are Laws.

The Rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your
airplane than you.

Laws (of Physics) were ordained by nature.

You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules, but you can never suspend
the Laws.

About Rules:

a. Rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the
talent to execute it.

b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance.(e.g., If
you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)

The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.

The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.

Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is
over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the
intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over, I know of no
expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.

Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks
are full.

He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that
demands one iota more is a fool.

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.

The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that
particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are
no limits.

Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not
for those who still are.

"If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville
to reduce costs." President, DELTA Airlines.

In the Alaskan bush I'd rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of
gas than vice versa.

It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. Its just that
good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes.

An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was
safe.

Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

I've flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is
always occupied by an idiot?

Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming
a pilot. You can't do both.

There are only two types of aircraft* - fighters and targets.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed
entirely of lost airline baggage.

You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't
crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, and you weren't nauseated by
the food. So you're grateful.

They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind
legs.

The FAA Motto: We're not happy till you're not happy.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

On Jan 1, 3:02*pm, "Dan Marotta" wrote:
A good review, many old, some new, some false, most true.

--------------------------------------------

Fighter Pilots: Cold, steely eyed, weapons systems managers who kill bad
people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and
personable. The average Fighter Pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering
exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy
and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.

Words of Wisdom From Aviators

* Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

* Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents
the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter
fly-ins?

Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.

Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and
helicopters (in that order) need two.

There are only three things the copilot should ever say:

1. Nice landing, Sir.

2. I'll buy the first round.

3. I'll take the fat one.

As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:

a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last
flight.

b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your
last flight.

There are Rules and there are Laws.

The Rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your
airplane than you.

Laws (of Physics) were ordained by nature.

You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules, but you can never suspend
the Laws.

About Rules:

a. Rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the
talent to execute it.

b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance.(e.g., If
you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)

The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.

The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.

Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is
over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the
intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over, I know of no
expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.

Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks
are full.

He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that
demands one iota more is a fool.

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.

The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that
particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are
no limits.

Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not
for those who still are.

"If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville
to reduce costs." President, DELTA Airlines.

In the Alaskan bush I'd rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of
gas than vice versa.

It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. Its just that
good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes.

An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was
safe.

Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

I've flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is
always occupied by an idiot?

Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming
a pilot. You can't do both.

There are only two types of aircraft - fighters and targets.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed
entirely of lost airline baggage.

You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't
crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, and you weren't nauseated by
the food. So you're grateful.

They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind
legs.

The FAA Motto: We're not happy till you're not happy.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Dan,

thanks for the laugh!

Brad