Consequence of shifting carry-on luggage to checked luggage for aircraft weight

On Mon, 14 Aug 2006 11:38:15 -0500, Emily wrote:

I might need a new laptop.

Just pretend that the TSA stole it too.

- Andrew

New security rules...
reupholster all seats with pig skin.
all passengers nude, or a French loin cloth
all passengers checked for implants
all passengers given a high colonic before the flight
all meals required to contain PORK, cheap hotdogs, pork
chops in first class.
security check points with animal sniffing, pigs.
Pig with cameras wandering all areas of the airports.

Check-in 12 hours before flight, all passengers in
quarantine until take-off.


"Emily" wrote in message
. ..
| Gig 601XL Builder wrote:
| "Emily" wrote in message
| ...
| Jose wrote:
| don't check company proprietary information.
| So, what to do with my palm?
|
| Jose
| I've been getting all sorts of answers like, "oh, just
do this" since this
| whole thing came up. Problem is, you can't "just do
that" like people
| think. It's narrow-minded thinking at its best.
|
| Well they are now going to let you carry less than 4 oz
of some liquids.
|
|
| That does a lot of good now that they've already stolen my
medication,
| doesn't it?
|
| And 4 oz of water isn't going to get you very far. I
simply don't
| understand why you can't bring drinks bought in the
sterile area. Why
| don't they just admit their security sucks?
|

all meals required to contain PORK

I thought TSA =was= primarily pork.

Jose
--
The monkey turns the crank and thinks he's making the music.
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

Andrew Gideon wrote:
On Mon, 14 Aug 2006 00:39:21 +0000, Crash Lander wrote:

Business class ticket sales will drop!

Hopefully, all ticket sales will drop.

I hope not. As an employee of a MAJOR company that supports the
airlines, I kind of need my job.

Jim Macklin wrote:
New security rules...
reupholster all seats with pig skin.
all passengers nude, or a French loin cloth
all passengers checked for implants
all passengers given a high colonic before the flight
all meals required to contain PORK, cheap hotdogs, pork
chops in first class.
security check points with animal sniffing, pigs.
Pig with cameras wandering all areas of the airports.

Check-in 12 hours before flight, all passengers in
quarantine until take-off.

Don't give them any ideas.

Andrew Gideon wrote:
On Mon, 14 Aug 2006 11:38:15 -0500, Emily wrote:

I might need a new laptop.

Just pretend that the TSA stole it too.

- Andrew

I'm not pretending the TSA stole anything. The actually did.

Are those fun bags saline or liquid explosive?

Did that fellow have plastic explosive surgery?

Instead of drugs, did they swallow explosives?

Ideas like these?



"Emily" wrote in message
...
| Jim Macklin wrote:
| New security rules...
| reupholster all seats with pig skin.
| all passengers nude, or a French loin cloth
| all passengers checked for implants
| all passengers given a high colonic before the flight
| all meals required to contain PORK, cheap hotdogs, pork
| chops in first class.
| security check points with animal sniffing, pigs.
| Pig with cameras wandering all areas of the airports.
|
| Check-in 12 hours before flight, all passengers in
| quarantine until take-off.
|
| Don't give them any ideas.

Jim Macklin wrote:
Are those fun bags saline or liquid explosive?

Did that fellow have plastic explosive surgery?

Instead of drugs, did they swallow explosives?

Ideas like these?

I think I've told this story here before, but I heard Ollie North tell a
great story an incident at Raleigh just after the shoe bomber incident.
Basically, when the TSA told him to take off his shoes and he asked
why, the TSA officer said, "Well, sir, I don't know if you heard about
this, but someone tried to blow up a plane with his shoe." North looked
at him and said, "So what happens when someone tries to blow up a plane
with his underwear." Next thing he knew, he was up against the wall
waiting for the cops to show up to deal with the guy with the bomb in
his underwear.

The TSA officer has no idea who he was, but the cops did when they
showed up. He said even after the cops called him Colonel North and
explained to the TSA officer who he was, he still didn't know. I'm
really not sure what that says about the TSA.

My brother's idea is just to make everyone fly naked.

It has been a staple of sci-fi for at least 50 years, the
explosive alien. It has been done on every Star Trek
version, and other shows too.

As for Richard Reed, the shoe bomber with matches and fuses.
The terrorists use electronics, batteries and very
sophisticated remote detonators by using cellphones,
disposable cameras, etc.
Richard Reed was probably sitting in his seat, elbowing the
guy next to him to get him to see the matches. The whole
purpose of that was to get us to take our shoes off and slow
down the lines.

In Israel, the bombers attack the lines before they get to a
security point.

The idea of flying nude raises some questions about safety,
clothes protect the body from fire and injury in a crash.
In a wilderness, clothes keep you alive. But as long as the
women are attractive, I have no objection to having to be
naked to fly. Of course, the really ugly, fat men and women
will have to be sedated and hidden.
They will have to screen for child molesters in addition to
terrorists. But we do have laws that require them to
register after a first conviction. To bad we can't get the
terrorists to register, it would make the security job
easier.

All this should increase sales of VLJ and regular business
airplanes. I'm sure Skylune must be rooting for the
terrorists as long as the noise and wreckage don't fall near
his home.



"Emily" wrote in message
. ..
| Jim Macklin wrote:
| Are those fun bags saline or liquid explosive?
|
| Did that fellow have plastic explosive surgery?
|
| Instead of drugs, did they swallow explosives?
|
| Ideas like these?
|
| I think I've told this story here before, but I heard
Ollie North tell a
| great story an incident at Raleigh just after the shoe
bomber incident.
| Basically, when the TSA told him to take off his shoes
and he asked
| why, the TSA officer said, "Well, sir, I don't know if
you heard about
| this, but someone tried to blow up a plane with his shoe."
North looked
| at him and said, "So what happens when someone tries to
blow up a plane
| with his underwear." Next thing he knew, he was up
against the wall
| waiting for the cops to show up to deal with the guy with
the bomb in
| his underwear.
|
| The TSA officer has no idea who he was, but the cops did
when they
| showed up. He said even after the cops called him Colonel
North and
| explained to the TSA officer who he was, he still didn't
know. I'm
| really not sure what that says about the TSA.
|
| My brother's idea is just to make everyone fly naked.

Jim Macklin wrote:
snip

In Israel, the bombers attack the lines before they get to a
security point.

That's what I thought as I stood in line last week waiting to get
through security.

The idea of flying nude raises some questions about safety,
clothes protect the body from fire and injury in a crash.
In a wilderness, clothes keep you alive.

You know the TSA suggests wearing sandals on planes because it expedites
screening? That's one of more irresponsible things they've said.

All this should increase sales of VLJ and regular business
airplanes.

Yes, well, I see my company going out of business before this is over.
We only support large aircraft.