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One Degree of Separation



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 8th 20, 08:41 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Jonathan St. Cloud
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Default One Degree of Separation

While not technically a soaring story it is aviation. I thought the group could use some fun from a real story and whom among us hasn't given a ride to someone we wished we hadn't.

One Degree of Separation

Full disclosure, this is a true story, but with plausible deniability and to protect me from A Civil Action, the names may have been changed to protect the guilty. Years ago, I was asked to give a helicopter flight to a young couple. The young man was the brother, let’s call him “Michael”, of a well known actress whom is married to a very well known actor whom I can’t frankly for the life of me remember his name. I have heard a rumor that said actor lives in Florida at an airpark with his own BE 7 or 0 or 7, I don’t know what that is. There would be three people flying with me that day, Sean, the client whom asked for this favor, Michael and his girlfriend, I will call her Carrie. As I was giving the pre-flight briefing, I was looking at Carrie, because She’s So Lovely and I incorrectly assumed was the weakest link. I wanted a Prefect flight, and of course Staying Alive was the ultimate goal. I told them we would be flying a Thin Red Line of maneuvers that they should feel comfortable with before we moved on to Grease some of the Mad City maneuvers a MD 500 could perform. Michael stepped in front of Carrie as I was speaking and said “I don’t care how she feels I want to do everything this machine can do”. I thought, “what an Urban Cowboy”. Then he told me some Pulp Fiction that his brother in-law was pilot and that he was practically a pilot with all the flying he had done with him.. The Experts, without qualifications, warnings #1-5. I thought he would Be Cool airborne. I strapped each in their seat, the couple in the rear seats. We all looked like The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, within the egg shape of this helicopter. I mounted the pilot’s seat and went through the White Man’s Burden of pre-flight checks, and getting the fires started. The entire time I was going through the start Phenomenon, there was constant chatter over the intercom. There were screeches of delight as I pulled some torque and pushed left cyclic to roll on the left skid (American helicopters hang left skid low), a little more torque and we smoothly lifted off the pad did a quarter right peddle turn, deck angle changed as we went from hover to forward flight. I departed the airport this morning a straight line for five miles before a downwind turn at twenty degrees bank. The chatter over the intercom had stopped and I thought all were enjoying the Primary Colors of the fall morning. Soon I heard over the intercom, “dude”. “Yes”, I responded. “I don’t feel good,“ Michael strained to say like he was speaking through The Devil’s Rain. So I asked, “do you want to return to the airport and just no more turns?” “I want to return now.” So I did a even more gentle turn back to airport and called for landing clearance. Just before crossing two active runways the tower asked for a quick s-turn for separation, and I gently placed bird on pad with no hover, I flew this bird everyday. I rolled throttle to idle and announced that there was a 2 minute turbine cool down and I would like everyone to stay in the aircraft until rotors stopped, unless they were going to Blow Out their guts. Back door popped open in a Bolt I heard my thousand dollar Bose headset hit the side of the helicopter and watched as Michael walked out on the active taxiway (he was practically a pilot), and puke his Face Off. It was like he had gotten a Fever, Saturday Night. Tower called and asked what I did to him as he was throwing up Chains of Gold and to get him off the taxiway. When this flight was arranged the day before I was asked what they should eat before flying and as always my answer was Bananas. They taste about the same going down as they do coming up. Welcome to Hollywood, I guess Michael thought breakfast burrito’s would look better for the Savages and Wild Hogs that would clean the mess. Total flight time, exclusive of startup and shutdown, 8 minutes.

  #2  
Old July 9th 20, 01:33 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
bill palmer
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Default One Degree of Separation

Great story. LOL
  #3  
Old July 9th 20, 04:19 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
kinsell
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Default One Degree of Separation

It's not that far removed from soaring. In Colorado yesterday, you
could have soared a helicopter. At least after 2 pm, where I was.



On 7/8/20 1:41 PM, Jonathan St. Cloud wrote:
While not technically a soaring story it is aviation. I thought the group could use some fun from a real story and whom among us hasn't given a ride to someone we wished we hadn't.

  #4  
Old July 10th 20, 02:22 AM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Scott Liebling
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Default One Degree of Separation

Fairy tales begin "once upon a time."

A good aviation story begins with "now this ain't no ****."

  #5  
Old July 10th 20, 02:43 AM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Jonathan St. Cloud
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Default One Degree of Separation

On Thursday, July 9, 2020 at 6:22:15 PM UTC-7, Scott Liebling wrote:
Fairy tales begin "once upon a time."

A good aviation story begins with "now this ain't no ****."


I don't tell "tall tales" so I don't need to pre-condition.
  #6  
Old July 10th 20, 03:09 AM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Steve Bralla
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Default One Degree of Separation

On Thursday, July 9, 2020 at 6:22:15 PM UTC-7, Scott Liebling wrote:
Fairy tales begin "once upon a time."

A good aviation story begins with "now this ain't no ****."


I thought it was, "No ****, I thought I was going to die"!
  #7  
Old July 10th 20, 03:07 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
[email protected]
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Default One Degree of Separation

I have a buddy who jumped thru all the CAP hoops to get a ride in a jet trainer. He got the ejection seat lecture and strapped in. Going with Johathan's story on the first manouver, he lost his burrito. (Precise op into the barf bag.) The Pilot asked if he wanted to go home. He said, 'no, I'm empty now, let's go'. The pilot liked the kid's attitude. Really showed him what the jet could do.

When my stomach was learning to fly, I used the lesson while flying in the back seat with a hard core cross country flyer. Precise op followed by another hour of thermaling. Bucket hats are quite useful.
  #8  
Old July 10th 20, 05:09 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Dan Marotta
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Default One Degree of Separation

Nah...* It's "There I was..."

On 7/9/2020 8:09 PM, Steve Bralla wrote:
On Thursday, July 9, 2020 at 6:22:15 PM UTC-7, Scott Liebling wrote:
Fairy tales begin "once upon a time."

A good aviation story begins with "now this ain't no ****."

I thought it was, "No ****, I thought I was going to die"!


--
Dan, 5J
  #9  
Old July 10th 20, 05:19 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Dan Marotta
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Default One Degree of Separation

Well...* Since we're talking about barfing...

When I was finally authorized to give my crew chief a ride in a T-33a, I
asked him what he wanted to see.* "Show me what it'll do, Sir."* So I
got a block from the surface to FL200 within 10 nm of the Eielson VOR
and started to show him what it would do. Everything was great until I
demonstrated vertical rolls, downward. I guess the spinning earth was
too much as I heard the tell tall sounds.* When he was done, I asked,
what he wanted to do next.* His answer:* "Do it again, Sir."

Three times he barfed, the last was most likely just dry heaves. But he
was grinning like an idiot when we landed.

On 7/10/2020 8:07 AM, wrote:
I have a buddy who jumped thru all the CAP hoops to get a ride in a jet trainer. He got the ejection seat lecture and strapped in. Going with Johathan's story on the first manouver, he lost his burrito. (Precise op into the barf bag.) The Pilot asked if he wanted to go home. He said, 'no, I'm empty now, let's go'. The pilot liked the kid's attitude. Really showed him what the jet could do.

When my stomach was learning to fly, I used the lesson while flying in the back seat with a hard core cross country flyer. Precise op followed by another hour of thermaling. Bucket hats are quite useful.


--
Dan, 5J
  #10  
Old July 10th 20, 05:21 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
Jonathan St. Cloud
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Posts: 1,463
Default One Degree of Separation

On Friday, July 10, 2020 at 9:09:31 AM UTC-7, Dan Marotta wrote:
Nah...* It's "There I was..."

On 7/9/2020 8:09 PM, Steve Bralla wrote:
On Thursday, July 9, 2020 at 6:22:15 PM UTC-7, Scott Liebling wrote:
Fairy tales begin "once upon a time."

A good aviation story begins with "now this ain't no ****."

I thought it was, "No ****, I thought I was going to die"!


--
Dan, 5J


For those counting, 26 movie references if you only count Michael and Carrie once each. "I was there". On back to span loading vs wing loading...anyone?
 




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