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Your very own suspected terrorist
I have often wondered, with GA under increased scrutiny, how long it
would be before one of us was investigated as a suspected terrorist. I never thought I would be first. I came home from the airport last night to find a business card stuck in the door of my apartment. It had the embossed gold emblem (which costs quite a bit extra - I guess, unlike the company I work for, the federal government isn't exactly watching its pennies) of the FBI, and a note on the back asking me to call. I did, but of course everyone had gone home for the day so all I got was voice mail. In the morning, I left another message - seems nobody was in the office at 8:30 AM either - and eventually got a call back. The special agaent (what is a special agent, anyway, and how does he differ from a regular agent?) informed me that he needed to speak with me personally. At first he didn't want to tell me what it was about, being vague about having to investigate a complaint, but when I pressed him he broke down and told me I was under suspicion as a terrorist! I nearly cracked up. I suppose that had I actually been an international terrorist, I would have immediately driven to the airport and taken the next flight out of the country. Or, given that the Mexican border is only a few hours drive South, I could have left that way. Then again, I suppose I would have done that the previous evening, the moment I saw the card. But since I'm not a terrorist, I simply made an appointment to meet him at work. He showed up at the receptionist's desk later that morning. He wore a suit and tie and carried a briefcase, so he didn't look out of place. I escorted him to my office, told him to take a seat, and closed the door. He showed me his ID, and we got down to business. The agent had NOT done his homework. He didn't know how old I was, where I was born - anything. Since I am a naturalized citizen, I know I have a file at the INS - but he didn't, and didn't even bother to check. After we got through the basics, the story came out. Seems that someone at my apartment complex had pegged me as suspicious. I was getting packages and magazines with aviation markings, and some of them were marked as hazardous materials. Of course for shipping purposes, aviation paints, primers, dopes, preservatives, and adhesives are all considered hazardous materials. Yup, you guessed it. The stuff I had shipped to do my annual this year (and it was a big annual) made me a terrorism suspect. A dark tan (we don't have much of a winter in Houston, and I tan easily) and a beard sealed the deal. I told him about my airplane, and the annual I was doing. I even showed him a picture. Like most people, he was amazed that the plane was a 1965 model, and noted that they seem to hold up better than cars. No, they don't - they require lots of care. Thus all the boxes of parts, primers, paints, lubricants... He examined my pilot and flight instructor certificates, and seemed confused. He said he couldn't find an expiration date on my pilot certificate. I had to explain to him that unlike flight instructor certificates, pilot certificates don't expire. He carefully noted the numbers on his pad, but I could see his heart wasn't in it anymore. A few minutes later, I escorted him out of the building. I guess my moment of glory as a suspected international terrorist was over, so I returned to my desk, wondering how much tax money was wasted on this nonsense. Michael The pilot formerly known as a suspected international terrorist |
#2
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A few minutes later, I escorted him out of the building. I guess my
moment of glory as a suspected international terrorist was over, so I returned to my desk, wondering how much tax money was wasted on this nonsense. Well, compared to the $50 million Congress just approved to build a RAIN FOREST here in Iowa City, Iowa (I'm NOT kidding), it's relative peanuts I'm sure... Scary, though. -- Jay Honeck Iowa City, IA Pathfinder N56993 www.AlexisParkInn.com "Your Aviation Destination" |
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"Jay Honeck" wrote:
Well, compared to the $50 million Congress just approved to build a RAIN FOREST here in Iowa City, Iowa (I'm NOT kidding), it's relative peanuts I'm sure... WHY has Congress approved a rain forest for Iowa? It doesn't make any sense... Iowa doesn't have the yearly precipitation needed for rainforest climates, does it? Rob |
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"Rob Perkins" wrote in message ... | "Jay Honeck" wrote: | | Well, compared to the $50 million Congress just approved to build a RAIN | FOREST here in Iowa City, Iowa (I'm NOT kidding), it's relative peanuts I'm | sure... | | WHY has Congress approved a rain forest for Iowa? It doesn't make any | sense... | | Iowa doesn't have the yearly precipitation needed for rainforest | climates, does it? It was done in retaliation for the Iowa delegation's constant interference with how western states and Alaska develop their resources. Western and Alaskan legislators have also proposed creating an Iowa wilderness area, mandating that all economic development in the state stop immediately and that the entire state be replanted in trees. |
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WHY has Congress approved a rain forest for Iowa? It doesn't make any
sense... No one here knows. This lame-brained idea has been proposed as an environmental and educational tool by a wealthy businessman from Des Moines. He's been shopping the idea around for four or five years now, with little success or interest from local developers. Somehow he has managed to get Sen. Grassley involved, who apparently had the clout to ram it into the overall spending bill. (Can you say "Major Campaign Contribution?") What the hell our federal government is doing building rain forests in Iowa is simply beyond me. Even the local newspaper -- as left wing, pork-barrel project loving as you can imagine -- has publicly ridiculed the idea. Iowa doesn't have the yearly precipitation needed for rainforest climates, does it? It's going to be built IN-DOORS, under a roof that would dome over three football fields! I'm dumb-founded. Even though it will probably bring more guests to my hotel, I think it's the dumbest idea I've EVER heard. -- Jay Honeck Iowa City, IA Pathfinder N56993 www.AlexisParkInn.com "Your Aviation Destination" |
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Maybe they'll use the dirt they move for the rain forest and build a ski
mountain. Might as well have some benefit from the snow you get out there... Michael "Jay Honeck" wrote in message news:N4gQb.132988$xy6.545923@attbi_s02... No one here knows. This lame-brained idea has been proposed as an environmental and educational tool by a wealthy businessman from Des Moines. He's been shopping the idea around for four or five years now, with little success or interest from local developers. |
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The sad thing is that if they spent that same money toward preserving REAL
rainforests it might actually have some real benefit to the world. "Jay Honeck" wrote in message news:N4gQb.132988$xy6.545923@attbi_s02... WHY has Congress approved a rain forest for Iowa? It doesn't make any sense... No one here knows. This lame-brained idea has been proposed as an environmental and educational tool by a wealthy businessman from Des Moines. He's been shopping the idea around for four or five years now, with little success or interest from local developers. |
#8
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Ok, rant on, Off topic:
Meanwhile, here in the Socialist Republic of Wisconsin, the DNR continues to buy up any piece of land inhabited by any animal other than a human, all in the name of protecting the environment and it's resources. At the same time, deer are so over populated that Darwin is pulling new diseases out of his hat in a futile attempt to control them, turkeys have become the number two road hazard (behind deer of course), sand hill cranes now produce more noise pollution than all the airports combined, more crop damage than Wisconsin's thunderstorms and tornadoes, and have become so friendly that pairs of them routinely return to peoples back yards each spring to hatch their young. They have actually spent money to re-introduce rattlesnakes into south western Wisconsin, and wolves into northern Wisconsin!! I would much rather have them attempt to create a rain forest, they've been wayyyyyyy too successful protecting the environment here. -- Jim Burns III Remove "nospam" to reply |
#9
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In article N4gQb.132988$xy6.545923@attbi_s02, "Jay Honeck"
wrote: I'm dumb-founded. Even though it will probably bring more guests to my hotel, I think it's the dumbest idea I've EVER heard. oh heck, we can come up with dumber ideas than that... -- Bob Noel |
#10
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On Fri, 23 Jan 2004 22:59:09 GMT, Bob Noel
wrote: In article N4gQb.132988$xy6.545923@attbi_s02, "Jay Honeck" wrote: I'm dumb-founded. Even though it will probably bring more guests to my hotel, I think it's the dumbest idea I've EVER heard. oh heck, we can come up with dumber ideas than that... You got a public zoo there? Don |
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