How Aircraft Stay In The Air

In article , George
writes
Peter Twydell wrote in message news:pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
...
There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
had been buttered.

I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?

That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
to be buttered side.
To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
:-)

This would IMHO lead to either:
the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
or:
the toast landing on its edge.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

machf wrote in message . ..
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:38:31 -0800, Mary Shafer wrote:

On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 20:09:29 GMT, Mike Lechnar
wrote:

How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".

I let the cat out of the bag over a decade ago.


But we've moved on a great deal since 1994! It's been known for quite
a while that Lift Demons are really only suited for military uses.
Outside of military aviation, Lift Demons are passe - they have
notoriously short attention spans and the ones used on Harriers have
problems discriminating between air and water. Inbreeding in pursuit
of the ultimate high performance Lift Demon may have been the cause.
The way ahead lies with Thrust Pixies, large amounts of lemon fondant
icing and in-flight Hugh Grant movies, at least in civil aviation.

"Moggycat" wrote in message
om...
machf wrote in message
. ..
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:38:31 -0800, Mary Shafer wrote:

On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 20:09:29 GMT, Mike Lechnar
wrote:

How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the
official
public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally
don't
speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates
usually
end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".

I let the cat out of the bag over a decade ago.


But we've moved on a great deal since 1994! It's been known for quite
a while that Lift Demons are really only suited for military uses.
Outside of military aviation, Lift Demons are passe - they have
notoriously short attention spans and the ones used on Harriers have
problems discriminating between air and water. Inbreeding in pursuit
of the ultimate high performance Lift Demon may have been the cause.
The way ahead lies with Thrust Pixies, large amounts of lemon fondant
icing and in-flight Hugh Grant movies, at least in civil aviation.

Hugh Grant movies?! That's too high a price to pay for advancements in the
civil aircraft sector! Ground 'em, ground 'em for good.

Peter Twydell wrote:

In article , George
writes
Peter Twydell wrote in message news:pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
...
There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
had been buttered.

I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?

That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
to be buttered side.
To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
:-)

This would IMHO lead to either:
the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
or:
the toast landing on its edge.

Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
*which* edge to butter...
--

-Gord.

In article , Gord Beaman
?@?.? writes
Peter Twydell wrote:

In article , George
writes
Peter Twydell wrote in message
news:pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
...
There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
had been buttered.

I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?

That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
to be buttered side.
To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
:-)

This would IMHO lead to either:
the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
or:
the toast landing on its edge.

Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
*which* edge to butter...
--

-Gord.

Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side of
the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark practices
that you get up to in the Colonies.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

"Gord Beaman" wrote in message
...
Peter Twydell wrote:

In article , George
writes
Peter Twydell wrote in message
news:pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
...
There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong
side
had been buttered.

I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?

That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
to be buttered side.
To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
:-)

This would IMHO lead to either:
the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
or:
the toast landing on its edge.

Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
*which* edge to butter...

And what butter to use ....

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk...-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

"Peter Twydell" wrote
Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side of
the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark practices
that you get up to in the Colonies.

Edge-buttering is sometimes necessary for practitioners of the
daftDELDELrk Welsh practice of baragami
(http://members.aol.com/llewtrah/baragami.htm )

--
Sarah H
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk...-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

In om,
Moggycat radiated into the WorldWideWait:

But we've moved on a great deal since 1994! It's been known for
quite a while that Lift Demons are really only suited for military
uses. Outside of military aviation, Lift Demons are passe - they
have notoriously short attention spans and the ones used on
Harriers have problems discriminating between air and water.
Inbreeding in pursuit of the ultimate high performance Lift Demon
may have been the cause. The way ahead lies with Thrust Pixies,
large amounts of lemon fondant icing and in-flight Hugh Grant
movies, at least in civil aviation.

Thrust Pixies are fine for pixilated civilians and the Air Farce.
Lift Demons were good in years past.
But now, Naval Aviation is all Angel-powered. The very best ones are
Blue Angels, of course. That's why they report their altitude as
"angels twenty" or such...
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

In ,
Jim Doyle radiated into the WorldWideWait:

Hugh Grant movies?! That's too high a price to pay for advancements
in the civil aircraft sector! Ground 'em, ground 'em for good.

Who's Hugh Grant?
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

In ,
Peter Twydell radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
In article , Gord Beaman
?@?.? writes
Peter Twydell wrote:
In article ,
George writes
Peter Twydell wrote in message
news:pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+ @ntlworld.com...

There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and
it was discovered that the toast did not always land with the
buttered side down. Further investigation showed that this was
because the wrong side had been buttered.
I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone
know what methods are used to ensure that the correct side is
buttered?

That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is
NOT the to be buttered side.
To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides
and drop the slice of toast toward the floor.

This would IMHO lead to either:
the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating
laterally or the toast landing on its edge.

Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
*which* edge to butter...

Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side
of the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark
practices that you get up to in the Colonies.

Well, of COURSE. If you don't, it's hard to get the little
bread-holder to retract into the laser-toaster in the computer.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®