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Act now before your wings are defaced



 
 
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Old September 13th 19, 12:45 PM posted to rec.aviation.soaring
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Default Act now before your wings are defaced

Sorry, eh? I am sorry to interrupt your normally highly productive use of the internet. But your glider is at risk.

It is only time separating you from the obvious damage coming to your aircraft soon. When I bought my first glass ship, the competition letters had been applied with EXTENSIVE use of what I am sure was a full carton of Sharpies. The owner had read that Sharpies do not add a detectable interruption of airflow. I spent days with sandpaper and compounds to remove the black stains that went deep into the gel coat.

There are people today who use the Sharpie as a weapon of deception. It has been used as a literal mark of possession much as a cat applies urine to its newly captured turf.

Weather and weather maps have become tools of democracy and diplomacy by people in high positions. A swipe of the pen now knows better and it is a sign the writer owns that issue in the public's minds.

The powers that be have now learned that rapidly rising hot air causes hurricanes capable of wiping out entire independent countries like The Bahamas. The first response by your government was direct and well researched. You would nuke each hurricane wherever it popped up.

Then, when the environmental Socialists objected, it was proposed that hurricanes could simply be re-directed by careful use of the simple Sharpie. Soon. Floridians were pleased to hear they were no longer a target because that claim fell to Alabama with the simplest "SHTROKE of a SHARPIE"©️ ™ possible.

That success will naturally soon lead to the next obvious conclusion by your greatest scientific minds. Hot air, which normally formed hurricanes, can be slowed down and even dissipated by widespread of thousands of glider wings in formation, flown in precise paths through those very hot spots that trigger them. The laws will change to remove your 2nd amendment rights to bare your arms. You will now have to completely cover up and contribute your glider for the nation's good.

The new "Soar Command" will be the best response of all to global warming. Its soldiers will all be accomplished glider pilots. The equipment will be your former gliders. Each one will be seized in one of a series of photo ops wherein the Commander in Chief will autograph each ship as it is seized/drafted into active service in Soar Command.

This is so sad. But, Canada has your back again.

You got diabetes, Canada gave you insulin. You had boring waffles we gave you maple syrup. Alaskans froze outdoors and slipped and slid on the ice, we gave you beaver pelts and skins for your feet.

Melania became inconsolable, Canada gave you Justin Trudeau. We knew you could not jump right into WWII so we went in early for you. Your space station was all thumbs? Canada gave you Canadarm. Basketball, hockey in Las Vegas, all essential distraction sot model day life. Feeling sad?. Comedians. Some competition at last for the WIlliams; sister?... Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, .... the country you should have captured years ago so you need not repaint the White House.

Now, Canada wants to help you yet again. No, we will not use the Canadarm for nefarious purposes.And no, we have our own leaders.

But, please trust that when YOUR wings are autographed by the hugest Sharpies ever, Canada has called on SICO Canada to solve the issue. ONLY SICO can assure you of proper removal of the dreaded signature.

Canada now brings you WHITE!

We have snow, and Celine Dionne and the Rockies... so we KNOW white and how to maintain it. Canada created a simple stick applicator product, like a lipstick, to cover up Sharpies' with one swipe.

"Sharp-Off! eh?" is now under siege by some USA bureaucrats. They wish to ban anything capable of defeating the power of your elected officials. To hold a "Sharp-off! eh?" in your hand south of the 48th, is to be a terrorist. Or a Muslim, Probably both at once. Worse, you could be called Mexican.

All Canadian SICO's are now BANNED from your country. You will only EVER have your home-grown SICOs if you fail to act now. You must act now

Sign the petition.

If you sign my petition now, you will have a chance at saving face when you fly the OLC with a Go Pro on your tail. . Don't be "enlisted" or "drafted" into service in the new Soar Command. Demand your right to bare your arms and fly your glider in the pristine snow white color (or colour) God intended for all gliders.

Selling your ship to a loyal Republican? Simple! Use "Sharp-back! sorry, eh?" to remove the cover up and expose the valuable signature beneath.

Canada has your back!

And we have your black! errr, white... errr, whatever, we have all colors here for you.

Remember, when you have a SICO problem in America... apply a SICO solution from Canada.

Copy/paste and Go to:

http://chng.it/zyRwXRhvkb

and with a simple click you can save the world from Sharpies.

And in conclusion, sorry to bother you, eh?

If nothing else, this post confirms that not ALL socialist Canadians get free drugs. Some of us have to stick to legalized herbs. We do suffer!




 




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