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#1
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote:
Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. -- This message has been brought to you by solar and wind power. Who needs the national grid? http://www.petersparrots.com http://www.insanevideoclips.com http://www.petersphotos.com Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? |
#2
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
Peter Hucker wrote:
On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! |
#3
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
On Sep 16, 12:22 am, "Michael Baldwin, Bruce"
wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! This prevents the buildup of plaque in your anus. Trust me! I am a Dentist. Gonad |
#4
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
Naked Gonad wrote:
On Sep 16, 12:22 am, "Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! This prevents the buildup of plaque in your anus. Trust me! I am a Dentist. A dentist, eh? Sounds like you know a lot about cavities. |
#5
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
On Sep 16, 9:08 am, "Michael Baldwin, Bruce"
wrote: Naked Gonad wrote: On Sep 16, 12:22 am, "Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! This prevents the buildup of plaque in your anus. Trust me! I am a Dentist. A dentist, eh? Sounds like you know a lot about cavities. On the hole, yes. |
#6
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
Naked Gonad wrote:
On Sep 16, 9:08 am, "Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote: Naked Gonad wrote: On Sep 16, 12:22 am, "Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! This prevents the buildup of plaque in your anus. Trust me! I am a Dentist. A dentist, eh? Sounds like you know a lot about cavities. On the hole, yes. What about arseholes? |
#7
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
On Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:22:09 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote:
Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. A vibrant life on usenet, yes ok...... 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! Conservation of angular momentum. -- This message has been brought to you by solar and wind power. Who needs the national grid? http://www.petersparrots.com http://www.insanevideoclips.com http://www.petersphotos.com When they found out their wives were attending a sex-toy party, the husbands refused to go and pick them up, and instead left them to their own devices. |
#8
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
Peter Hucker wrote:
On Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:22:09 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. A vibrant life on usenet, yes ok...... And elsewhere. At least I don't have parrots squawking about the place at all hours. 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! Conservation of angular momentum. On what basis do you make that k'lame? When they found out their wives were attending a sex-toy party, the husbands refused to go and pick them up, and instead left them to their own devices. That was lame. |
#9
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
Peter Hucker wrote:
On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:37:15 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:22:09 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:39:35 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Usenet Stats Poster wrote: NGStatistics: Newsgroup Statistics Program Version 1.1 (using News::Scan) Copyright (C) 2002 Neil Lombardo, Based on groupstat, Copyleft (C) 2000 H. Alex LaHurreau Based on StatNews, Copyleft (C) 1998 Davide G. M. Salvetti Newsgroup.................: demon.local Stats Were Taken..........: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 23:00:01 GMT Stats Begin...............: Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:00:41 GMT Stats End.................: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 22:25:55 GMT Days......................: 7 Total No. of Articles.....: 1317 Total No. of Characters...: 5813916 Total Volume..............: 5677 Messages Per Day..........: 188.1 Characters Per Day........: 830559.4 Average Daily Volume......: 811 kB Total Posters This Week...: 136 Messages with Sigs........: 13.82% Sigs Over 4 Lines.........: 58.79% Original Content Rating...: 15.33% Top 500 Prolific Posters: Posts / Posts per Day / Percent Share ================================================== ============= 1. Michael Baldwin...................................: 153 21.9 11.6% Ding! Read it and weap, PHucker. All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. A vibrant life on usenet, yes ok...... And elsewhere. At least I don't have parrots squawking about the place at all hours. They shut up at night. What? You tape their little beaks up? 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! Conservation of angular momentum. On what basis do you make that k'lame? Physics. What does that have to do with arses, PHucker? When they found out their wives were attending a sex-toy party, the husbands refused to go and pick them up, and instead left them to their own devices. That was lame. But amusing. Indeed. When Ma & Pa first arrived on the homestead Pa installed a bell on the front porch and told Ma if trouble comes while I'm out in the field a plowin' then you just ring that bell and I'll come a running. The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home. When he arrives Ma says, "Them boys are givin' me a hard time about doin' the chores and little Sammy done stuck the butter knife in the molasses without lickin' the blade clean first." Pa says, "You mean I just run all the way in from the fields for this?? Next time it had better be important!" The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home again. When he arrives his wife is in tears standing over a broke clothes line. "Pa", she says "some jackass came ridin' through here on a mule and ran right through the clothes line and rurnt the washin'." At first Pa was trying to figure out what was ridin' what but then he yells "I told you not to ring that bell unless something bad was goin' on. If this happens again I'm goin' to raise holy hell!!!" The next day Pa hears the bell again and grabbin' up a board heads for home. When he arrives Ma is clinging to the porch rail with a spear in her back, the house behind her is in flames and the chickens are laying dead in the front yard, shot full of arrows. Pa looks at Ma and says "Now that's more like it." Now that was funny. |
#10
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Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.
Peter Hucker wrote:
On Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:31:31 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:37:15 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: On Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:22:09 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote: Peter Hucker wrote: All you have proven is you have less of a life than me. Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than you. A vibrant life on usenet, yes ok...... And elsewhere. At least I don't have parrots squawking about the place at all hours. They shut up at night. What? You tape their little beaks up? I switch the lights off. I see. Butt, of course, you wouldn't! A0L! 2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7% 3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7% 4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5% 5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2% 6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7% 7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1% 8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0% 9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8% A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh! Conservation of angular momentum. On what basis do you make that k'lame? Physics. What does that have to do with arses, PHucker? Angular arse rotation is due to physics. I suspect you like to get physical with arses. When they found out their wives were attending a sex-toy party, the husbands refused to go and pick them up, and instead left them to their own devices. That was lame. But amusing. Indeed. [Bows] Don't flatter yourself. When Ma & Pa first arrived on the homestead Pa installed a bell on the front porch and told Ma if trouble comes while I'm out in the field a plowin' then you just ring that bell and I'll come a running. The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home. When he arrives Ma says, "Them boys are givin' me a hard time about doin' the chores and little Sammy done stuck the butter knife in the molasses without lickin' the blade clean first." Pa says, "You mean I just run all the way in from the fields for this?? Next time it had better be important!" The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home again. When he arrives his wife is in tears standing over a broke clothes line. "Pa", she says "some jackass came ridin' through here on a mule and ran right through the clothes line and rurnt the washin'." At first Pa was trying to figure out what was ridin' what but then he yells "I told you not to ring that bell unless something bad was goin' on. If this happens again I'm goin' to raise holy hell!!!" The next day Pa hears the bell again and grabbin' up a board heads for home. When he arrives Ma is clinging to the porch rail with a spear in her back, the house behind her is in flames and the chickens are laying dead in the front yard, shot full of arrows. Pa looks at Ma and says "Now that's more like it." Now that was funny. [bows again] Turkey. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why ask me? |
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