Airline lands due to too much gas

[Robert M. Gary]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/plane_passing_gas

"NASHVILLE, Tenn. - An American Airlines flight was forced to make an
emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to
disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said. "

-Robert

[150flivver]

Robert M. Gary wrote:
> http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/plane_passing_gas
>
> "NASHVILLE, Tenn. - An American Airlines flight was forced to make an
> emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to
> disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said. "
>
> -Robert

The title of this thread puts the lie to the old saying that the only
time you can have too much gas is when you're on fire :)

[Jim Macklin]

A constipated outflow valve?


Normal cabin pressurization changes the air in the cabin
very rapidly and lavatory air should not be cycled into the
main cabin. What kind of aircraft and did it have some
special modifications?

I heard on the radio news, it was the smell of the woman's
matches as she tried to burn the smell.



"Robert M. Gary" > wrote in message
oups.com...
|
| http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/plane_passing_gas
|
| "NASHVILLE, Tenn. - An American Airlines flight was forced
to make an
| emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a
match to
| disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said. "
|
| -Robert
|

[Jim Macklin]

Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel;
So let's have beans with every meal.

Or

How do you spell relief?

FART




"150flivver" > wrote in message
ups.com...
|
| Robert M. Gary wrote:
| > http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/plane_passing_gas
| >
| > "NASHVILLE, Tenn. - An American Airlines flight was
forced to make an
| > emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a
match to
| > disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said. "
| >
| > -Robert
|
| The title of this thread puts the lie to the old saying
that the only
| time you can have too much gas is when you're on fire :)
|

[Robert M. Gary]

Jim Macklin wrote:
> A constipated outflow valve?
>
>
> Normal cabin pressurization changes the air in the cabin
> very rapidly and lavatory air should not be cycled into the
> main cabin. What kind of aircraft and did it have some
> special modifications?
>
> I heard on the radio news, it was the smell of the woman's
> matches as she tried to burn the smell.

Yea, they're reporting that the pax reported smelling "burning sulfer".
That seems to match with the facts. ;) The woman also reported that she
has an unspecified medical condition that causes such things to be an
issue. Only a woman would do this. If it were a guy he'd walk of there
with a polite warning to other passengers to not go there for a few
minutes. ;)


-Robert

[CRaSH]

Robert M. Gary wrote:
> Only a woman would do this. If it were a
> guy he'd walk of there with a polite warning to other passengers to
> not go there for a few minutes. ;)
>
>

Or blow the friggin door off!! d:->))

[Jim Macklin]

Found the story on the web, it seems she was at her seat and
not in the lav. She may have had 8 books of matches.

Flatulent passenger grounds US airline flight
Reuters.uk, UK - 7 hours ago
The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing on
Monday in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for
Dallas from Washington, DC, said Lynne ...
Flatulent woman brings down plane Canton Repository
(subscription)
Flatulent passenger forces plane to land Lawrence Journal
World
Flatulent Flyer Grounds Jet Washington Post
ShortNews.com - ShortNews.com
all 342 news articles »




"CRaSH" > wrote in message
...
| Robert M. Gary wrote:
| > Only a woman would do this. If it were a
| > guy he'd walk of there with a polite warning to other
passengers to
| > not go there for a few minutes. ;)
| >
| >
|
| Or blow the friggin door off!! d:->))
|
|

[Jim Macklin]

About

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Strong wind downs plane

Scotsman, United Kingdom - 32 minutes ago

AN AMERICAN Airlines flight made an emergency landing after
a passenger lit matches to disguise the scent of flatulence,
authorities said. ...



In-flight flatulence coverup sparks emergency landing

CBC News, Canada - 3 hours ago

AP. An American Airlines flight was forced to make an
emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a
match to disguise ...



Flatulent passenger grounds flight

Reuters - 6 hours ago

NASHVILLE, Tenn., Dec 6 (Reuters Life!) - It may be one
problem airline security officials never envisioned -- a
passenger lighting matches in flight to mask ...



Flatulent passenger grounds US airline flight

Reuters.uk, UK - 7 hours ago

NASHVILLE, Tennessee (Reuters) - It may be one problem
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An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in
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New York Daily News, NY - 16 hours ago

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Lit Matches Prompt Emergency Landing

Washington Post, United States - 18 hours ago

By Martin Weil. A jetliner from Washington made an emergency
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One fart is all it takes to land a plane...

Independent Online, South Africa - 21 hours ago

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after
several passengers reported smelling burning sulphur from
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Flatulence leads to flight diversion

USA Today - Dec 5, 2006

By Samuel Shu for The Tennessean. NASHVILLE - Flatulence
brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an
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United Press International - 5 hours ago

NASHVILLE, Dec. 6 (UPI) -- A Dallas-area woman has been
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Flatulent passenger forces plane to land

Lawrence Journal World, KS - 6 hours ago

AP. Tennessee - Farting onboard your plane is bad manners.
But here'sa tip: It's even worse to light a match. An
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Three strikes and you're out

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An internal flight in America was forced to make an
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Air pressure was fine, but they still wanted the masks

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By TIMES WIRES. An American Airlines flight from Washington
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Truthdig, United States - Dec 5, 2006

A plane was forced to make an emergency landing on Monday
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"CRaSH" > wrote in message
...
| Robert M. Gary wrote:
| > Only a woman would do this. If it were a
| > guy he'd walk of there with a polite warning to other
passengers to
| > not go there for a few minutes. ;)
| >
| >
|
| Or blow the friggin door off!! d:->))
|
|

[Jose[_1_]]

> CBC News, Canada - 3 hours ago
>
> AP. An American Airlines flight was forced to make an
> emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a
> match to disguise ...

I really like the part about "was =forced= to make an =emergency= landing...

Jose
--
"There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing. Unfortunately, nobody knows
what they are." - (mike).
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

[Jim Macklin]

I like the "first gas section"



"Jose" > wrote in message
. net...
|> CBC News, Canada - 3 hours ago
| >
| > AP. An American Airlines flight was forced to make an
| > emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a
| > match to disguise ...
|
| I really like the part about "was =forced= to make an
=emergency= landing...
|
| Jose
| --
| "There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing.
Unfortunately, nobody knows
| what they are." - (mike).
| for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

[[email protected]]

Jim Macklin wrote:
> Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
> The more you eat the more you toot.
> The more you toot, the better you feel;
> So let's have beans with every meal.
>
> Or
>
> How do you spell relief?
>
> FART

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat the more you toot.
The more you toot, the more you fart,
The more you blow your pants apart.

Dan

[Jim Macklin]

Anybody have a third stanza?


> wrote in message
ups.com...
|
| Jim Macklin wrote:
| > Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
| > The more you eat the more you toot.
| > The more you toot, the better you feel;
| > So let's have beans with every meal.
| >
| > Or
| >
| > How do you spell relief?
| >
| > FART
|
| Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
| The more you eat the more you toot.
| The more you toot, the more you fart,
| The more you blow your pants apart.
|
| Dan
|

[Gig 601XL Builder]

> wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> Jim Macklin wrote:
>> Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
>> The more you eat the more you toot.
>> The more you toot, the better you feel;
>> So let's have beans with every meal.
>>
>> Or
>>
>> How do you spell relief?
>>
>> FART
>
> Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
> The more you eat the more you toot.
> The more you toot, the more you fart,
> The more you blow your pants apart.
>
> Dan
>

Beans, beans the musical fruit.
If you eat 'em air the TSA might shoot.

[[email protected]]

Jim Macklin wrote:
> Anybody have a third stanza?

There once was a woman with gas
She desperately tried not to pass
But alas! She did blow,
Tried to burn off the glow
But brought down the entire class.

[Jim Macklin]

Bravo!


> wrote in message
oups.com...
|
| Jim Macklin wrote:
| > Anybody have a third stanza?
|
| There once was a woman with gas
| She desperately tried not to pass
| But alas! She did blow,
| Tried to burn off the glow
| But brought down the entire class.
|

[gatt]

The more you fart, the better you feel
So lets have beans with every meal


"Jim Macklin" > wrote in message
...
> Anybody have a third stanza?
>
>
> > wrote in message
> ups.com...
> |
> | Jim Macklin wrote:
> | > Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
> | > The more you eat the more you toot.
> | > The more you toot, the better you feel;
> | > So let's have beans with every meal.
> | >
> | > Or
> | >
> | > How do you spell relief?
> | >
> | > FART
> |
> | Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
> | The more you eat the more you toot.
> | The more you toot, the more you fart,
> | The more you blow your pants apart.
> |
> | Dan
> |
>
>

[Mortimer Schnerd, RN[_2_]]

Jim Macklin wrote:
> Anybody have a third stanza?


Beans, Beans, are good for the heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel
So eat some beans with every meal.


As you can see, I are an educated man who went to kollage. A liberal arts
kollage....



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN
mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com

> > wrote in message
> ups.com...
>>
>> Jim Macklin wrote:
>>> Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
>>> The more you eat the more you toot.
>>> The more you toot, the better you feel;
>>> So let's have beans with every meal.
>>>
>>> Or
>>>
>>> How do you spell relief?
>>>
>>> FART
>>
>> Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
>> The more you eat the more you toot.
>> The more you toot, the more you fart,
>> The more you blow your pants apart.
>>
>> Dan

[Morgans[_2_]]

"Mortimer Schnerd, RN" <mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com> wrote in message
...
> Jim Macklin wrote:
>> Anybody have a third stanza?
>
>
> Beans, Beans, are good for the heart.
> The more you eat, the more you fart.
> The more you fart, the better you feel
> So eat some beans with every meal.

So what do you get if you add some pineapple juice to the beans?

You get Hawaiian music, of course!
--
Jim in NC

[gatt]

"Jim Macklin" > wrote in message
...
> Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
> The more you eat the more you toot.
> The more you toot, the better you feel;
> So let's have beans with every meal.



Gas, gas, in business class?
lighting a match won't cover your ass
The quicker you light the quicker you land
but foul emissions won't get you banned.

[Jim Macklin]

As Popeye ate spinach so the kids would eat their spinach
due to WWII food rationing [I think I heard that], was there
a push on beans?

Don't forget the chuck wagon scene in BLAZING SADDLES.
"Cookie, more beans."



"Mortimer Schnerd, RN" <mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com> wrote in
message
...
| Jim Macklin wrote:
| > Anybody have a third stanza?
|
|
| Beans, Beans, are good for the heart.
| The more you eat, the more you fart.
| The more you fart, the better you feel
| So eat some beans with every meal.
|
|
| As you can see, I are an educated man who went to kollage.
A liberal arts
| kollage....
|
|
|
| --
| Mortimer Schnerd, RN
| mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com
|
| > > wrote in message
| >
ups.com...
| >>
| >> Jim Macklin wrote:
| >>> Beans, Beans, the musical fruit.
| >>> The more you eat the more you toot.
| >>> The more you toot, the better you feel;
| >>> So let's have beans with every meal.
| >>>
| >>> Or
| >>>
| >>> How do you spell relief?
| >>>
| >>> FART
| >>
| >> Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
| >> The more you eat the more you toot.
| >> The more you toot, the more you fart,
| >> The more you blow your pants apart.
| >>
| >> Dan
|
|

[Montblack]

("Jim Macklin" wrote)
> Don't forget the chuck wagon scene in BLAZING SADDLES.
> "Cookie, more beans."


Which was "taken" from these two CLASSIC (1971) movies...

<http://www.badmovieplanet.com/3btheater/t/trinitystillmyname.html>
Trinity is Still My Name

<http://www.badmovieplanet.com/3btheater/t/theycallmetrinity.html>
They Call Me Trinity


Montblack
(From the links...)
Trinity knows that and he’ll need Bambino’s help. But Bambino doesn’t like
the odds and decides to dump the agent scam and move back to robbing stages.
Trinity doesn’t like it, so he starts a plan of his own.

They plan to rob the next stagecoach. While Bambino poses as a passenger,
Trinity will hold it up. Trinity hits the stage but only takes Bambino’s
money. He rides off, back to the monastery and waits. It isn’t long before
Bambino storms up to the monastery walls, with every intention of
dismembering his brother.

[Mike Adams[_2_]]

"gatt" > wrote:

> Gas, gas, in business class?
> lighting a match won't cover your ass
> The quicker you light the quicker you land
> but foul emissions won't get you banned.
>

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner, folks.

[Jose[_1_]]

> Anybody have a third stanza?

Don't fly a plane without enough gas -
landing short makes you look like an ass.
Eat lots of hot Mexican food by the batch.
But if it's a jet plane, please don't light a match.

Jose
--
"There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing. Unfortunately, nobody knows
what they are." - (mike).
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

[Judah]

"Robert M. Gary" > wrote in news:1165441268.404880.5620@
16g2000cwy.googlegroups.com:

> issue. Only a woman would do this. If it were a guy he'd walk of there
> with a polite warning to other passengers to not go there for a few
> minutes. ;)

Bulls&*t [pardon the reference].

If it's a guy, he opens the vent a bit.

If it's a jerk, he closes it.

"Everyone loves their own brand!!" -- Fat *******, The Spy Who Shagged Me