Squawks

[J.F.]

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

[Greasy Rider[_4_]]

"J.F." > wrote in message
t...
> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
> pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
> listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

(snipped)

We had fire control radar that was supposed to lock on a towed banner with a
rotating metal disk. Occasionally pilots would get the angle too narrow and
the radar would lock on the towing aircraft rather than the banner. Strictly
pilot error.

Squawk: Radar locks on tow plane.
Remedy: Crippled tow plane lock on circuit.

[octothorpe]

"Greasy Rider" > wrote in message
...
>
> "J.F." > wrote in message
> t...
>> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
>> pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
>> listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.
>
> (snipped)
>
> We had fire control radar that was supposed to lock on a towed banner with
> a rotating metal disk. Occasionally pilots would get the angle too narrow
> and the radar would lock on the towing aircraft rather than the banner.
> Strictly pilot error.
>
> Squawk: Radar locks on tow plane.
> Remedy: Crippled tow plane lock on circuit.
>

We had the usual "no volume" and "no display" complaints. Turning a knob
solved most of those. Sometimes we'd get a "no strobe" complaint in one
quarter of the azimuth indicator. Then the remedy was to usually R&R a
transistor in the preamp logarithmic amplifier board. Generally, "operator
error" was frowned upon when noted in the "action taken" column of the AFTO
349.

Tom

[Greasy Rider[_4_]]

"octothorpe" > wrote in message
news:WeExi.292$Uf7.66@trnddc06...


> Generally, "operator error" was frowned upon when noted in the "action
> taken" column of the AFTO 349.

Especially if the "operator" was your division officer.

[J Ward]

On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 09:33:40 -0400, "J.F." >
wrote:

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are
problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm
descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."