Squawks

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

"J.F." wrote in message
t...
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

(snipped)

We had fire control radar that was supposed to lock on a towed banner with a
rotating metal disk. Occasionally pilots would get the angle too narrow and
the radar would lock on the towing aircraft rather than the banner. Strictly
pilot error.

Squawk: Radar locks on tow plane.
Remedy: Crippled tow plane lock on circuit.

"Greasy Rider" wrote in message
...

"J.F." wrote in message
t...
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

(snipped)

We had fire control radar that was supposed to lock on a towed banner with
a rotating metal disk. Occasionally pilots would get the angle too narrow
and the radar would lock on the towing aircraft rather than the banner.
Strictly pilot error.

Squawk: Radar locks on tow plane.
Remedy: Crippled tow plane lock on circuit.


We had the usual "no volume" and "no display" complaints. Turning a knob
solved most of those. Sometimes we'd get a "no strobe" complaint in one
quarter of the azimuth indicator. Then the remedy was to usually R&R a
transistor in the preamp logarithmic amplifier board. Generally, "operator
error" was frowned upon when noted in the "action taken" column of the AFTO
349.

Tom

"octothorpe" wrote in message
news:WeExi.292$Uf7.66@trnddc06...


Generally, "operator error" was frowned upon when noted in the "action
taken" column of the AFTO 349.

Especially if the "operator" was your division officer.

On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 09:33:40 -0400, "J.F."
wrote:

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by military
pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are
problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm
descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."