military humour

[Ed Majden]

1. Smart bomb are very accurate, they generally hit the ground.
2. If you see an EOD Weapons Tech running the prudent thing to do is follow
him.
3. Tracer bullets work in both directions.
4. When setting up a rocket launcher aim it toward the enemy.
5. Don't draw enemy fire, the people near you get annoyed.
6. It is not a good idea to eject over the place you just bombed.
7. A five second fuse often lasts only three seconds.
8. Being a hero means your the only guy that knows your scared.

[Bill Silvey]

"Ed Majden" > wrote in message
news:zQkmb.170745$pl3.34380@pd7tw3no
> 1. Smart bomb are very accurate, they generally hit the ground.
> 2. If you see an EOD Weapons Tech running the prudent thing to do is
> follow him.
> 3. Tracer bullets work in both directions.
> 4. When setting up a rocket launcher aim it toward the enemy.
> 5. Don't draw enemy fire, the people near you get annoyed.
> 6. It is not a good idea to eject over the place you just bombed.
> 7. A five second fuse often lasts only three seconds.
> 8. Being a hero means your the only guy that knows your scared.

Friendly fire isn't.

Corollary: Incoming fire is theirs. Outgoing fire is ours. If it's
anywhere near you from whatever direction, it's hostile.

Remember: your best weapon system was made by the lowest bidder.

A sucking chest wound is mother nature's way of saying "Slow down".

Build a firebase nobody can possibly ever get in to if they want to...and
you've built a firebase you can't possibly get out of if you need to.

No good plan ever survives direct contact with the Lieutenant.

(an oldie) When German planes are overhead, the allies duck. When British
planes are overhead, the Axis ducks. When American planes are
overhead...EVERYBODY ducks.

A few pokes at the Fighting Falcon:

F16: Wall To Wall Mk. 84's. That's right, 4000lbs of high explosive!
F16: Lose a few...Lose a few.
F16: Covering the target area like a string bikini.
F16: I came...I saw...I bingo'ed.
F16: Wait 'til I get back with my other bomb.
F15 Eagle: Because it's better to lose *an* engine than *the* engine.

Finally, one that unfortunately doesn't translate terribly well to a
text-only medium, but I'll try:

(from Mauldin's "Up Front" - Joe is hunkered down in a foxhole, and a German
tank is astride it, oblivious to his plight)

Joe (quietly, into field radio): "Fragrant Flower, this is Advance.
Yeah...I gotta target for ya. But ya gotta be reaaaaaal patient."

--
http://www.delversdungeon.dragonsfoot.org
Remove the X's in my email address to respond.
"Damn you Silvey, and your endless fortunes." - Stephen Weir
I hate furries.

[QDurham]

Mauldin's "Up Front" is still widely available. Go for it!

Quent

[Keith Willshaw]

"Ed Majden" > wrote in message
news:zQkmb.170745$pl3.34380@pd7tw3no...

> 6. It is not a good idea to eject over the place you just bombed.

A variation on the WW2 adage "Troops are always anxious
to meet the pilot who just strafed them"

Keith