For Fliers Only

[ArtKramr]

Subject: For Fliers Only...


Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ...I Shall Fear No Evil ... For
I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing. (sign over the entrance to the
SR-71 operating location
Kadena, Japan).

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.
Crickmore - test pilot)

From an old carrier sailor....Blue water Navy truism; There are more
planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to
pee.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation
are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S#!+!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. (Hey?)

Progress in airline flying; now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
row is prevarication.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries.

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything
about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be
held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during W. W. II. When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the
vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum. (Jon
McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the
******* down. (Ernest K.
Gann, author &aviator)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign
over squadron ops
desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a
good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same
time. (Author unknown, but someone who's beenthere)

"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee
attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near
the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It
is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to the terminal.


Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

[Rick]

Add this one:

When making a forced landing at night, use the landing lights only when
ground contact is imminent. If you don't like what you see turn them off.

(Used to think about that one a lot flying an overgrossed Beech 18 full
of mail across the Rockies in the middle of the night.)

Rick

[ArtKramr]

>ubject: Re: For Fliers Only
>From: Rick
>Date: 12/1/03 6:25 PM Pacific Standard Time
>Message-id: .net>

>Add this one:
>
>When making a forced landing at night, use the landing lights only when
>ground contact is imminent. If you don't like what you see turn them off.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE (GRIN)


Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

[John Banister]

or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

-John

"Rick" > wrote in message
hlink.net...
> Add this one:
>
> When making a forced landing at night, use the landing lights only when
> ground contact is imminent. If you don't like what you see turn them off.

[Dudley Henriques]

"John Banister" > wrote in message
...
> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

[George Z. Bush]

Dudley Henriques wrote:
> "John Banister" > wrote in message
> ...
>> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."
>
> Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
> was, say,
> "I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

[Dudley Henriques]

"George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
...
> Dudley Henriques wrote:
> > "John Banister" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."
> >
> > Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
> > was, say,
> > "I'm over some buildings that are under me".
>
> Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))
>
> George Z.

I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a busy
day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some of
the stuff I heard going on.
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all he's
worth, trying to make a date with her!
She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees and
down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out if
he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

[George Z. Bush]

Dudley Henriques wrote:
> "George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Dudley Henriques wrote:
>>> "John Banister" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."
>>>
>>> Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
>>> was, say,
>>> "I'm over some buildings that are under me".
>>
>> Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))
>>
>> George Z.
>
> I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
> transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a busy
> day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some of
> the stuff I heard going on.
> I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
> forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
> rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
> because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
> working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all he's
> worth, trying to make a date with her!
> She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
> 466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees and
> down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
> I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out if
> he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
> Dudley Henriques
> International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
> Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
> For personal email, please replace
> the z's with e's.
> dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had a
trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was taking
care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))

[Dudley Henriques]

"George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
...
> Dudley Henriques wrote:
> > "George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> Dudley Henriques wrote:
> >>> "John Banister" > wrote in message
> >>> ...
> >>>> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."
> >>>
> >>> Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where
he
> >>> was, say,
> >>> "I'm over some buildings that are under me".
> >>
> >> Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))
> >>
> >> George Z.
> >
> > I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
> > transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a
busy
> > day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some
of
> > the stuff I heard going on.
> > I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
> > forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
> > rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
> > because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
> > working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all
he's
> > worth, trying to make a date with her!
> > She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
> > 466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees
and
> > down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
> > I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out
if
> > he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
> > Dudley Henriques
> > International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
> > Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
> > For personal email, please replace
> > the z's with e's.
> > dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt
>
> That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had a
> trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was
taking
> care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))

Yeah, I know.......we in the "fast lane" heard from time to time about large
airplanes existing in the world, but we tried our damndest to avoid them if
at all possible!! :-))))
I heard a good one about you guys once....I think it actually happened on a
United flight into Philadelphia one night.
Story goes that the second officer, (fresh out of Emery Riddle I think and a
new hire through Stapleton) was on a first time route check with an older
crew. The chief stew, an "older" gal than the SO, was bent over between the
cockpit seats talking to the Captain as the airplane made the marker. She
asked the Captain what the tone was and the SO piped in a smart crack back
at her,
"It's the virgin light....goes off when there's a virgin in the cockpit"
She supposedly shot back at him, "Well then junior.....when and if you
manage to get this F*****g crate on the ground, write it up because it
doesn't work worth a ****"
Don't know for sure if it actually happened, but the guy who told me was the
Captain on the flight!
:-))
DH

[[email protected]]

"Dudley Henriques" > wrote:

>
>"John Banister" > wrote in message
...
>> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."
>
>Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
>was, say,
>"I'm over some buildings that are under me".
>
>Dudley Henriques

Or the shaken up pilot on his first solo flight while declaring
an emergency for something and asked for 'The pilot's name' said,

"There is no pilot, I'm up here alone".

Poor devil. :)
--

-Gord.

[Jan Swensen]

"Alan Dicey"
wrote in message ...
> ArtKramr wrote:
> > Subject: For Fliers Only...
>
> The three most useless things in aviation are
> - runway behind you
> - altitude above you
> - and a tenth of a second ago.

The ORIGINAL third most useless thing was "a field grade bombardier!"

[George Z. Bush]

Dudley Henriques wrote:
> "George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Dudley Henriques wrote:
>>> "George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> Dudley Henriques wrote:
>>>>> "John Banister" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."
>>>>>
>>>>> Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
>>>>> was, say,
>>>>> "I'm over some buildings that are under me".
>>>>
>>>> Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))
>>>>
>>>> George Z.
>>>
>>> I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
>>> transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a busy
>>> day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some of
>>> the stuff I heard going on.
>>> I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
>>> forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
>>> rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
>>> because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
>>> working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all he's
>>> worth, trying to make a date with her!
>>> She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
>>> 466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees and
>>> down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
>>> I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out if
>>> he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
>>> Dudley Henriques
>>> International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
>>> Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
>>> For personal email, please replace
>>> the z's with e's.
>>> dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt
>>
>> That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had a
>> trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was taking
>> care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))
>
> Yeah, I know.......we in the "fast lane" heard from time to time about large
> airplanes existing in the world, but we tried our damndest to avoid them if
> at all possible!! :-))))
> I heard a good one about you guys once....I think it actually happened on a
> United flight into Philadelphia one night.
> Story goes that the second officer, (fresh out of Emery Riddle I think and a
> new hire through Stapleton) was on a first time route check with an older
> crew. The chief stew, an "older" gal than the SO, was bent over between the
> cockpit seats talking to the Captain as the airplane made the marker. She
> asked the Captain what the tone was and the SO piped in a smart crack back
> at her,
> "It's the virgin light....goes off when there's a virgin in the cockpit"
> She supposedly shot back at him, "Well then junior.....when and if you
> manage to get this F*****g crate on the ground, write it up because it
> doesn't work worth a ****"
> Don't know for sure if it actually happened, but the guy who told me was the
> Captain on the flight!
> :-))
> DH

Now, Dud, that one sounds completely believable. I wonder if the skipper was
able to stop laughing by the time he had to round out. (^-^)))

George Z.

[Dudley Henriques]

"George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
...
> Dudley Henriques wrote:
> > "George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> Dudley Henriques wrote:
> >>> "George Z. Bush" > wrote in message
> >>> ...
> >>>> Dudley Henriques wrote:
> >>>>> "John Banister" > wrote in message
> >>>>> ...
> >>>>>> or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as
long."
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower
where he
> >>>>> was, say,
> >>>>> "I'm over some buildings that are under me".
> >>>>
> >>>> Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))
> >>>>
> >>>> George Z.
> >>>
> >>> I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
> >>> transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on
a busy
> >>> day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at
some of
> >>> the stuff I heard going on.
> >>> I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
> >>> forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at
any
> >>> rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
> >>> because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
> >>> working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all
he's
> >>> worth, trying to make a date with her!
> >>> She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
> >>> 466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2
degrees and
> >>> down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
> >>> I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find
out if
> >>> he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
> >>> Dudley Henriques
> >>> International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
> >>> Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
> >>> For personal email, please replace
> >>> the z's with e's.
> >>> dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt
> >>
> >> That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had
a
> >> trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was
taking
> >> care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))
> >
> > Yeah, I know.......we in the "fast lane" heard from time to time about
large
> > airplanes existing in the world, but we tried our damndest to avoid them
if
> > at all possible!! :-))))
> > I heard a good one about you guys once....I think it actually happened
on a
> > United flight into Philadelphia one night.
> > Story goes that the second officer, (fresh out of Emery Riddle I think
and a
> > new hire through Stapleton) was on a first time route check with an
older
> > crew. The chief stew, an "older" gal than the SO, was bent over between
the
> > cockpit seats talking to the Captain as the airplane made the marker.
She
> > asked the Captain what the tone was and the SO piped in a smart crack
back
> > at her,
> > "It's the virgin light....goes off when there's a virgin in the cockpit"
> > She supposedly shot back at him, "Well then junior.....when and if you
> > manage to get this F*****g crate on the ground, write it up because it
> > doesn't work worth a ****"
> > Don't know for sure if it actually happened, but the guy who told me was
the
> > Captain on the flight!
> > :-))
> > DH
>
> Now, Dud, that one sounds completely believable. I wonder if the skipper
was
> able to stop laughing by the time he had to round out. (^-^)))
>
> George Z.

Knowing this particular Captain (an aerobatic student of mine), he probably
had something going with the stew......or she might have been the one in the
entire organization he had missed!! :-))
D

[vincent p. norris]

>> > I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
>> > forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
>> > rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
>> > because I was right behind him holding.

Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
a bit hard to believe.

1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
button, which would block any calls from the pilot.

2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.

vince norris

[[email protected]]

vincent p. norris > wrote:

>>> > I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
>>> > forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
>>> > rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
>>> > because I was right behind him holding.
>
>Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
> a bit hard to believe.
>
>1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
>roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
>failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
>sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
>button, which would block any calls from the pilot.
>
>2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
>final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.
>
>vince norris

Precisely correct Vince, my experiences were quite a few years
ago too but my long term memory is crystal clear, all our GCA's
were done on 134.1, and that's all that was done on there, GCA's.

Mind you, I have no idea what I had for breakfast this morning...
(or whether for that matter) :)
--

-Gord.

[Dudley Henriques]

"vincent p. norris" > wrote in message
...
> >> > I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero
conditions...I
> >> > forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at
any
> >> > rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I
know
> >> > because I was right behind him holding.
>
> Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
> a bit hard to believe.
>
> 1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
> roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
> failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
> sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
> button, which would block any calls from the pilot.
>
> 2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
> final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.
>
> vince norris

Your pick up is basically correct. I said final, and it was a bit before
final if I remember it exactly.
Can't speak for the violation of GCA protocols, ( I think it was 5 seconds
no trans- go missed at the time ) but I can certainly assure you that
monitoring other frequencies while stacked in close or holding was common
practice, which was exactly what we were doing on this occasion. I was
working the hold on nav 1 and my right seat was on com 2. (We were a D18
Beech) To be completely exact, most of the discourse we heard did occur in
the early part of his approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second
no trans go missed call by the controller.
But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
DH

[Jack]

Dudley done wrote:

> ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> missed call by the controller.
> But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!

I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
anticipated age.


--
Jack

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

[Dudley Henriques]

"Jack" > wrote in message
...
> Dudley done wrote:
>
> > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > missed call by the controller.
> > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
>
> I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
However,
> in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
> anticipated age.
>
>
> --
> Jack

It's funny about things like that. It could be that the heavier they get,
the lower their voice gets until at last they reach that perfect scenario of
maximum weight vs maximum sexy voice!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

[[email protected]]

Jack > wrote:

>I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
>in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
>anticipated age.

Or...what's much worse...finding out that their inventory of
equipment has an item or two more than you were comfortable with.
--

-Gord.

[Bob McKellar]

Jack wrote:

> Dudley done wrote:
>
> > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > missed call by the controller.
> > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
>
> I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
> in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
> anticipated age.
>

If you consider those two characteristics to be a problem, I must suspect you
have little experience with such ladies.

You probably have missed a lot.

Bob McKellar, who usually does not bring up "kilos" and "years" as subjects of
proper conversation......

>
> --
> Jack
>
> "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
> -- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

[Dudley Henriques]

"Bob McKellar" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> Jack wrote:
>
> > Dudley done wrote:
> >
> > > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> > > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > > missed call by the controller.
> > > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
> >
> > I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
However,
> > in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
> > anticipated age.
> >
>
> If you consider those two characteristics to be a problem, I must suspect
you
> have little experience with such ladies.
>
> You probably have missed a lot.
>
> Bob McKellar, who usually does not bring up "kilos" and "years" as
subjects of
> proper conversation......

Well, I for one don't see these things as any particular problem.
I'll be sure to mention your sentiments to our best friend, a lovely lady of
some girth whom my wife and I have both known and loved for many years.
Lighten up there Bob. Black humor is a tradition in aviation and doesn't
necessarily indicate prejudice.
Or am I "misreading" you again? :-))
DH

[Bob McKellar]

Dudley Henriques wrote:

> "Bob McKellar" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> >
> > Jack wrote:
> >
> > > Dudley done wrote:
> > >
> > > > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> > > > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > > > missed call by the controller.
> > > > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
> > >
> > > I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
> However,
> > > in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
> > > anticipated age.
> > >
> >
> > If you consider those two characteristics to be a problem, I must suspect
> you
> > have little experience with such ladies.
> >
> > You probably have missed a lot.
> >
> > Bob McKellar, who usually does not bring up "kilos" and "years" as
> subjects of
> > proper conversation......
>
> Well, I for one don't see these things as any particular problem.
> I'll be sure to mention your sentiments to our best friend, a lovely lady of
> some girth whom my wife and I have both known and loved for many years.
> Lighten up there Bob. Black humor is a tradition in aviation and doesn't
> necessarily indicate prejudice.
> Or am I "misreading" you again? :-))
> DH

I rarely have a problem with "lightening up" except with the bathroom scales.

I had no serious or censorious intent, but the topic of discussion brought back
a lot of very pleasant memories.

As a happily married man of about 20 years ( out of a total of thirty years
total married service ) I have no recent experience in the marketplace of
temporary gratification.

However.......

in the distant past......

I learned quite well that the quality of the overall "experience" had absolutely
nothing to do with the degree of similarity of my companion to a centerfold.

I shall leave to others the appropriate quote from Ben Franklin.

I always thought a beautiful blonde on the arm was a lot like a big watch on the
wrist..........

Bob McKellar, who thinks that if you are on final approach in the dark,
sometimes a wide runway is preferred

[Dudley Henriques]

"Bob McKellar" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> Dudley Henriques wrote:
>
> > "Bob McKellar" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >
> > >
> > > Jack wrote:
> > >
> > > > Dudley done wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of
his
> > > > > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > > > > missed call by the controller.
> > > > > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
> > > >
> > > > I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
> > However,
> > > > in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past
their
> > > > anticipated age.
> > > >
> > >
> > > If you consider those two characteristics to be a problem, I must
suspect
> > you
> > > have little experience with such ladies.
> > >
> > > You probably have missed a lot.
> > >
> > > Bob McKellar, who usually does not bring up "kilos" and "years" as
> > subjects of
> > > proper conversation......
> >
> > Well, I for one don't see these things as any particular problem.
> > I'll be sure to mention your sentiments to our best friend, a lovely
lady of
> > some girth whom my wife and I have both known and loved for many years.
> > Lighten up there Bob. Black humor is a tradition in aviation and doesn't
> > necessarily indicate prejudice.
> > Or am I "misreading" you again? :-))
> > DH
>
> I rarely have a problem with "lightening up" except with the bathroom
scales.
>
> I had no serious or censorious intent, but the topic of discussion brought
back
> a lot of very pleasant memories.
>
> As a happily married man of about 20 years ( out of a total of thirty
years
> total married service ) I have no recent experience in the marketplace of
> temporary gratification.
>
> However.......
>
> in the distant past......
>
> I learned quite well that the quality of the overall "experience" had
absolutely
> nothing to do with the degree of similarity of my companion to a
centerfold.
>
> I shall leave to others the appropriate quote from Ben Franklin.
>
> I always thought a beautiful blonde on the arm was a lot like a big watch
on the
> wrist..........
>
> Bob McKellar, who thinks that if you are on final approach in the dark,
> sometimes a wide runway is preferred

Yes, I can identify completely with what you're saying.
Our friend; the one I spoke of, had serious problems health wise because of
her weight. It took some time to get her life under control. Fortunately,
she had the fortitude to get a tight grip on it, and with the help of her
friends, us included, she made it. We're all very proud of her.
She is a brilliant person; has a post grad degree in music from Julliard,
and has played harp with a well known symphony.
You're absolutely right. Physical appearance has nothing at all to do with
talent or brains. It's the heart and soul of a person that makes the
difference. In fact, other than discussing her here, I can't remember the
last time I even thought about her in any other way but how absolutely
beautiful she is.
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

[hlg]

"Jan Swensen" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Alan Dicey"
> wrote in message ...
> > ArtKramr wrote:
> > > Subject: For Fliers Only...
> >
> > The three most useless things in aviation are
> > - runway behind you
> > - altitude above you
> > - and a tenth of a second ago.
>
> The ORIGINAL third most useless thing was "a field grade bombardier!"
>
>

I have also heard "fuel in the bowser" as an optional third item.

[Mark and Kim Smith]

ROFLMAO

wrote:

>Jack > wrote:
>
>
>
>>I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
>>in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
>>anticipated age.
>>
>>
>
>Or...what's much worse...finding out that their inventory of
>equipment has an item or two more than you were comfortable with.
>--
>
>-Gord.
>
>

[R Haskin]

"ArtKramr" > wrote in message
...
> Subject: For Fliers Only...

> You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.
> Crickmore - test pilot)

Since when has Crickmore been a test pilot?!

[mah]

Jack wrote:
>
> Dudley done wrote:
>
> > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > missed call by the controller.
> > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
>
> I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
> in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
> anticipated age.
>
> --
> Jack
>
> "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
> -- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

C'mon, quit trying to ruin a good fantasy over her looks by injecting
reality. :)

MAH

[George Z. Bush]

"Bob McKellar" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> Dudley Henriques wrote:
>
> > "Bob McKellar" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >
> > >
> > > Jack wrote:
> > >
> > > > Dudley done wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> > > > > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> > > > > missed call by the controller.
> > > > > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
> > > >
> > > > I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
> > However,
> > > > in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
> > > > anticipated age.
> > > >
> > >
> > > If you consider those two characteristics to be a problem, I must suspect
> > you
> > > have little experience with such ladies.
> > >
> > > You probably have missed a lot.
> > >
> > > Bob McKellar, who usually does not bring up "kilos" and "years" as
> > subjects of
> > > proper conversation......
> >
> > Well, I for one don't see these things as any particular problem.
> > I'll be sure to mention your sentiments to our best friend, a lovely lady of
> > some girth whom my wife and I have both known and loved for many years.
> > Lighten up there Bob. Black humor is a tradition in aviation and doesn't
> > necessarily indicate prejudice.
> > Or am I "misreading" you again? :-))
> > DH
>
> I rarely have a problem with "lightening up" except with the bathroom scales.
>
> I had no serious or censorious intent, but the topic of discussion brought
back
> a lot of very pleasant memories.
>
> As a happily married man of about 20 years ( out of a total of thirty years
> total married service ) I have no recent experience in the marketplace of
> temporary gratification.
>
> However.......
>
> in the distant past......
>
> I learned quite well that the quality of the overall "experience" had
absolutely
> nothing to do with the degree of similarity of my companion to a centerfold.
>
> I shall leave to others the appropriate quote from Ben Franklin.
>
> I always thought a beautiful blonde on the arm was a lot like a big watch on
the
> wrist..........
>
> Bob McKellar, who thinks that if you are on final approach in the dark,
> sometimes a wide runway is preferred

Preferred is for the good ones......essential is for the rest of us who rarely
encountered a runway that didn't have a meandering centerline, especially in
crosswinds. (^-^)))

George Z.
>
>

[Jan Swensen]

"R Haskin" wrote in message > "ArtKramr" wrote in message
>
> > Subject: For Fliers Only...
>
> > You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.
> > Crickmore - test pilot)
>
> Since when has Crickmore been a test pilot?!
>

Ever since Kramer claimed to be a Navigator!

[Alan Minyard]

On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 03:33:44 GMT, "Dudley Henriques" > wrote:

>
>"Jack" > wrote in message
...
>> Dudley done wrote:
>>
>> > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
>> > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
>> > missed call by the controller.
>> > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
>>
>> I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
>However,
>> in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
>> anticipated age.
>>
>>
>> --
>> Jack
>
>It's funny about things like that. It could be that the heavier they get,
>the lower their voice gets until at last they reach that perfect scenario of
>maximum weight vs maximum sexy voice!! :-))
>Dudley Henriques
>International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
>Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
>For personal email, please replace
>the z's with e's.
>dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt
>
There is an old story, which I have no way of knowing
its veracity, about the B-58 program. Supposedly, the
voice for the warning system ("fire in number four engine", etc)
was that of a lady who won a contest for the "sexiest" voice.
The theory being that on a long, boring flight (in a B-58???) the
female voice would startle the crew into action. She was a
60ish grandmother.

Like I said, I have no idea if this was the case or not :-))

Al Minyard

[John Hairell]

On Wed, 03 Dec 2003 20:16:47 -0500, vincent p. norris >
wrote:

>>> > I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
>>> > forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
>>> > rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
>>> > because I was right behind him holding.
>
>Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
> a bit hard to believe.
>
>1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
>roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
>failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
>sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
>button, which would block any calls from the pilot.
>
>2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
>final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.
>

As a former military GCA controller, I can say that the lost comm
instructions we transmitted had a time interval based upon the type of
radar approach being made, i.e. if on a vector to the final approach,
the time interval prior to lost comm being assumed was not to exceed
one minute, on a surveillance (ASR) approach the time interval was 15
seconds, and on a precision (PAR) approach the interval was 5 seconds.

Lost comm procedures may be different for the pattern/approach to
final and the final approach itself.

The "do not acknowledge further transmissions" was not done until
after aircraft contact with the final controller.

GCA controllers don't routinely keep the mike keyed during the entire
final approach - each sequence of instructions is a separate
transmission, unless there are a number of instructions being relayed
very closely together.

Been there, done that, thousands of times.

John Hairell )

[John Hairell]

On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 02:28:16 GMT, "Gord Beaman" )
wrote:
[stuff snipped]
>
>Precisely correct Vince, my experiences were quite a few years
>ago too but my long term memory is crystal clear, all our GCA's
>were done on 134.1, and that's all that was done on there, GCA's.
>

Typically each GCA facility has a different frequency, actually
multiple different frequencies, at least in the US and at US military
facilities overseas. I don't know what other countries do and did.

John Hairell )

[Dudley Henriques]

"Alan Minyard" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 03:33:44 GMT, "Dudley Henriques"
> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Jack" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> Dudley done wrote:
> >>
> >> > ...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
> >> > approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
> >> > missed call by the controller.
> >> > But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
> >>
> >> I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
> >However,
> >> in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past
their
> >> anticipated age.
> >>
> >>
> >> --
> >> Jack
> >
> >It's funny about things like that. It could be that the heavier they get,
> >the lower their voice gets until at last they reach that perfect scenario
of
> >maximum weight vs maximum sexy voice!! :-))
> >Dudley Henriques
> >International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
> >Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
> >For personal email, please replace
> >the z's with e's.
> >dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt
> >
> There is an old story, which I have no way of knowing
> its veracity, about the B-58 program. Supposedly, the
> voice for the warning system ("fire in number four engine", etc)
> was that of a lady who won a contest for the "sexiest" voice.
> The theory being that on a long, boring flight (in a B-58???) the
> female voice would startle the crew into action. She was a
> 60ish grandmother.
>
> Like I said, I have no idea if this was the case or not :-))
>
> Al Minyard

There's usually some truth in all these stories, and if you dig deep enough
you can usually find some basis for fact.
It's sort of a joke around the fighter community anyway that "bitch'in
betty" was chosen as a female warning voice because anything you heard in
flight otherwise was usually a male voice and you were accustomed to that
and might not react as required. (although I have to admit that a fair share
of the controllers I've worked through the years were female :-)
Since most of us were and are married, the theory was that if you were just
sailing along minding your own damn business fat dumb and happy as guys are
prone to do.....and suddenly your male world was shattered by the sound of a
female voice hollering at you like crazy....your natural reaction would be
just as it would be anywhere else you heard a female voice entering your
"male world" uninvited........"Jesus H. Christ!! What the f**k am I doing
wrong NOW!!!!" :-)
These days, to be politically correct, the least they could do would be to
supply a male voice for the gal pilots in the community!!! :-)))

Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

[WaltBJ]

Back in the late 70's Miami Center had a female controller who must
have had chronic PMS. She sure hated any request to deviate from a
flight plan or profile and her tone of voice changed instantly to let
you know it, too. FWIW our GCA final controllers 'back then' would
release the mike button periodically in case you had anything to say.
(like 'oh, s--t'?)
a) "Your request for immediate refueling has been granted - there is a
truck on the runway."
b) "You are going below the glideslope - you are going dangerously
below the glideslope. Pull up! Oops - never mind - we'll be picking
you up - later."
Walt BJ

[Dudley Henriques]

"WaltBJ" > wrote in message
om...
> Back in the late 70's Miami Center had a female controller who must
> have had chronic PMS. She sure hated any request to deviate from a
> flight plan or profile and her tone of voice changed instantly to let
> you know it, too. FWIW our GCA final controllers 'back then' would
> release the mike button periodically in case you had anything to say.
> (like 'oh, s--t'?)
> a) "Your request for immediate refueling has been granted - there is a
> truck on the runway."
> b) "You are going below the glideslope - you are going dangerously
> below the glideslope. Pull up! Oops - never mind - we'll be picking
> you up - later."
> Walt BJ

Now THERE'S an argument for female fighter pilots!!

Can you just imagine trying to defend a well executed follow up guns run by
some female jock back there with PMS.......talk about AGGRESSION!!!!!!!?
:-))))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

[[email protected]]

John Hairell > wrote:

>On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 02:28:16 GMT, "Gord Beaman" )
>wrote:
>[stuff snipped]
>>
>>Precisely correct Vince, my experiences were quite a few years
>>ago too but my long term memory is crystal clear, all our GCA's
>>were done on 134.1, and that's all that was done on there, GCA's.
>>
>
>Typically each GCA facility has a different frequency, actually
>multiple different frequencies, at least in the US and at US military
>facilities overseas. I don't know what other countries do and did.
>
>John Hairell )

Yes, that's likely true for us as well but I don't ever remember
doing a GCA on other than 134.1 though. It's likely that we used
that as a standard unless it couldn't be used due to proximity
with other airports equipped for PAR/GCA. Seems to make sense to
me. :)
--

-Gord.

[[email protected]]

John Hairell > wrote:
>
>GCA controllers don't routinely keep the mike keyed during the entire
>final approach - each sequence of instructions is a separate
>transmission, unless there are a number of instructions being relayed
>very closely together.
>
>Been there, done that, thousands of times.
>
>John Hairell )

And I can assure you that your voice was the most attentively
followed factor on lots of those 'close encounters of the nervous
kind' too...not just the words either but the tone of voice too.

You no doubt were trained to deliver those words in a monotone
but when several pairs of ears are hanging onto every clue
available then pretty damned slight variations are well noted.

Been there and done that at least hundreds of times...too many of
which were where God supplied the 'blind flying hood'.

Thanks for all the successful outcomes of your (and your
cohorts') efforts sir.
--

-Gord.

[[email protected]]

(WaltBJ) wrote:

>Back in the late 70's Miami Center had a female controller who must
>have had chronic PMS. She sure hated any request to deviate from a
>flight plan or profile and her tone of voice changed instantly to let
>you know it, too. FWIW our GCA final controllers 'back then' would
>release the mike button periodically in case you had anything to say.
>(like 'oh, s--t'?)
>a) "Your request for immediate refueling has been granted - there is a
>truck on the runway."
>b) "You are going below the glideslope - you are going dangerously
>below the glideslope. Pull up! Oops - never mind - we'll be picking
>you up - later."
>Walt BJ

I love the one where an old BOAC Captain politely asks ground
control in Berlin for taxi instructions to the BOAC terminal and
was answered by a crusty old German with "Vhut!?, haf you neffer
been to Berlin before?!?".

His great retort was a calm measured
"Well...yes I was...in 1943...but I didn't stop".

Classic. I love it.

:)

--

-Gord.