How Aircraft Stay In The Air

[Sarah Hotdesking]

I received this today:-

There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.

In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
seems to upset the self-loading cargo.

Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
during times of active operations.

There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.

Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
after midnight.


--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
into the WorldWideWait:

> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft
> to find out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of
> course we need to know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever
> going to know how many Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off
> the ground if we don't know the weight? Or should that be "Lift
> Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into disrepute - something
> about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded conditions
> and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>
> In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is
> generally not that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends
> to specify payment in blood or souls. This is readily achievable
> with aircraft of military function, but frowned upon in civilian
> circles as they may attempt to acquire payment outside of the terms
> of their binding contract. Lift Demons are not used on Elf bombers.
> We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it seems to upset the
> self-loading cargo.
>
> Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These
> are readily sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided
> cost-free by the passengers. Clearly this would not work well
> within an operational military environment. Air force cooking is
> not renowned for the "light and fluffy texture" that Thrust Pixies
> demand, the availability of flowers might be problematic in desert
> operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find during times
> of active operations.
>
> There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon
> would have few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly
> if there is an immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to
> achieve level controlled flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of
> more than one Lift Demon on the same flight vehicle is
> contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other). Communities of
> Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
> aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon
> fondant icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
>
> Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift
> Pixies, but leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates
> their desire for monetary gain, and their willingness to search all
> over the world for it. This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to
> keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing), and makes it difficult to
> establish a regular route network as the Lift Leprechauns don't
> like to continuously visit the same locations. By law, aircraft
> also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip
> Vortex Faeries after midnight.

Uh-huh. Oookaayyy...
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Tarver Engineering]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
message ...
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in
unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.

Yes, Bernoilli's fairy tale is going the way of the law of the wall.

> In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally
not
> that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
> blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
> function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
> acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift
Demons
> are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as
it
> seems to upset the self-loading cargo.

Modern designers use lift fairies and avoid the whole contraversy.

> Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are
readily
> sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
> passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational
military
> environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
> texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
> problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to
find
> during times of active operations.

Lift fairies however come in a less benevolent caste.

> There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
> few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
> immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
> flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
> same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each
other).
> Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the
same
> aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
> icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.

The problem today is how to get 707 lift fairies at a resonable price. Many
of these older aircraft specific fairies have become rare, if not
unavailable.

> Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies,
but
> leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
> monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.

Leprachauns can't fly, so Ryanair got scammed.

> This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant
icing),
> and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
> Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
> aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex
Faeries
> after midnight.

The Leprechauns are scamming you.

[BF Lake]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
message ...
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in
unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.

Many (most) Navy pilots claim that black air has no lift, which means they
can get all night in to supplement their daytime naps between meals. This
shows that Lift Demons are not nocturnal. Thrust Pixies may be what is
needed. OTOH, would they be any use in getting Air Force maritime patrol
aircraft to stop reaching "prudent limit of endurance" by 1400 Local every
Friday just after reporting a "possible intruder" submarine in the exercise
area, and not be restored to flying status till Monday am, while the ships
stay out over the weekend looking for the "intruder"? Is there such a
thing as a Thrust Demon for them?

Regards,
Barry

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"BF Lake" > wrote in message
news:9cL%b.628439$X%5.218514@pd7tw2no...
>
> "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
> message ...
>
> > How are we ever going to know how many
> > Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know
the
> > weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"?
>
>
> Is there such a thing as a Thrust Demon for them?

No. Lift Demons eat Thrust Pixies and their genietic material is
incompatible so there are no hybrid Thrust Demons.

Further news from Djinn's Defence Weekly:-
Sultan Investing Heavily in Arabian Carpet Bombers
The Sultan's Chief of Airborne Warfare is investigating the concept of
"carpet bombing". This required adapting the standard Abdullah SR-6 Light
Reconnaissance Flying Carpet to carry and deploy two "Insh-Allah" 20 pound
anti-infidel bombs. In desert trials, several palm trees were successfully
destroyed by the one-man Abdullah SR-6; however the small size has proven a
limiting factor on the number of missiles which can be carried and the
leading tassels need to be redesigned for greater carpet stability.

The Sultan has therefore commissioned a study into use of two man carpets
e.g. the Arabian Carpet 130 (AC-130) carrying stand-off missiles with infra
red guidance systems. This carpet will have trailing tassels only, a gently
furled front edge with innovative carpet-swept corners with twin Carpet
Beater propulsion system.

Meanwhile, the Grand Vizier, Ahmed bed Linen, has been working on blanket
bombing using the B-52 Security Blanket; undyed honeycomb weave, 100% pure
new wool, stealth shielded blanket. This has a fully "pull up over the face"
protection system.

Until now, Arabian flying carpets have been woven purely for civil and
commercial uses. These include the fast and flashy "Fatwa" beloved of boy
racers; the family-sized "Genie" with twin-tassel suspension system for a
smoother ride, tow-bar for throw rug trailer, under-carpet luggage stowage
compartment and under-front-furl drinks holders; the sixteen-seater
"Axe-Mincer" used mainly as an inter-oasis Company Carpet; the Cargo Carpet
and the "Jumbo Jihad" passenger carpet (variants of which are used as cargo
planes).
--
Sarah H
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/djinn.html

Djinn's Defence Weekly

[Jim E]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
message ...
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in
unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>

I have it on fair authority that current research in the field of inertia
free propulsion has shown great promise through the use of properly modified
felines.
As I understand it, jelly (flavor not specified) is spread evenly over the
felines back.
When the creature is tossed lightly into the air, the third
law of universal fate dictates that it land jelly side down.
However this does not occur due to the intervention of the feline landing
axiom (feet first).
The above conflicting forces result in a stable hover.
The subject felines have demonstrated the ability to control their own
velocity at will.
The only loose ends delaying the full commercialization of this process is
the matter of persuading the felines to:
a. work in teams.
b. not lick off the jelly.
c. follow a flight plan.
As there seems to be a deficiency in feline herding instincts, any
suggestions would be appreciated by the parties involved.

Jim E

[Mike Lechnar]

How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".

Mike Lechnar

Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
>
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>
> In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
> that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
> blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
> function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
> acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
> are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
> seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
>
> Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
> sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
> passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
> environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
> texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
> problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
> during times of active operations.
>
> There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
> few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
> immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
> flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
> same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
> Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
> aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
> icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
>
> Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
> leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
> monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
> This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
> and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
> Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
> aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
> after midnight.
>
> --
> Sarah H
> http://www.messybeast.com
> http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
> Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Jack G]

OK - The cat is out of the bag - this is the technology that will be used in
the Apache/Comanche replacement.

Jack


"Jim E" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
> message ...
> > I received this today:-
> >
> > There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to
find
> > out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> > know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> > Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know
the
> > weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> > disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in
> unbounded
> > conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
> >
>
> I have it on fair authority that current research in the field of inertia
> free propulsion has shown great promise through the use of properly
modified
> felines.
> As I understand it, jelly (flavor not specified) is spread evenly over the
> felines back.
> When the creature is tossed lightly into the air, the third
> law of universal fate dictates that it land jelly side down.
> However this does not occur due to the intervention of the feline landing
> axiom (feet first).
> The above conflicting forces result in a stable hover.
> The subject felines have demonstrated the ability to control their own
> velocity at will.
> The only loose ends delaying the full commercialization of this process is
> the matter of persuading the felines to:
> a. work in teams.
> b. not lick off the jelly.
> c. follow a flight plan.
> As there seems to be a deficiency in feline herding instincts, any
> suggestions would be appreciated by the parties involved.
>
> Jim E
>
>

[Jim Watt]

On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 16:44:24 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking"
> wrote:

>I received this today:-
>
>There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
>out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
>know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
>Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
>weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
>disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
>conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>
>In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
>that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
>blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
>function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
>acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
>are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
>seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
>
>Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
>sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
>passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
>environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
>texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
>problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
>during times of active operations.
>
>There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
>few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
>immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
>flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
>same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
>Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
>aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
>icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
>
>Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
>leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
>monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
>This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
>and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
>Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
>aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
>these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
>after midnight.

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
--
Jim Watt http://www.gibnet.com

[Fred J. McCall]

Jim Watt > wrote:

:On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 16:44:24 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking"
> wrote:
:
:>I received this today:-
:>
:>There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
:>out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
:>know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
:>Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
:>weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
:>disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
:>conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
:>
:>In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
:>that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
:>blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
:>function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
:>acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
:>are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
:>seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
:>
:>Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
:>sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
:>passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
:>environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
:>texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
:>problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
:>during times of active operations.
:>
:>There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
:>few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
:>immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
:>flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
:>same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
:>Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
:>aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
:>icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
:>
:>Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
:>leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
:>monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
:>This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
:>and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
:>Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
:>aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
:>these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
:>after midnight.
:
:Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No. That sound is the diving alarm....

[George]

Mike Lechnar > wrote in message >...
> How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
> been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
> and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
> public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
> Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
> speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
> end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".
>
snip
More credit should be given to the fart fairies. For, without their
bean eating and gas production, no machine could power itself from the
earth surface...
and the turbine winder rounder gnomes that hide inside those socalled
engine nacelles from the public with their serious kerosine drinking
problems..
The leading edge leeries that give the extra little push that keeps
the nose up..
oh the pain the pain

[Tarver Engineering]

"George" > wrote in message
m...
> Mike Lechnar > wrote in message
>...
> > How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
> > been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
> > and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
> > public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
> > Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
> > speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
> > end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".
> >
> snip
> More credit should be given to the fart fairies. For, without their
> bean eating and gas production, no machine could power itself from the
> earth surface...

Fairies tend to less concerned with good and evil and make better dual use
aircraft.

[Tank Fixer]

In article >,
on Fri, 27 Feb 2004 17:51:37 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
say .....

>
> No. Lift Demons eat Thrust Pixies and their genietic material is
> incompatible so there are no hybrid Thrust Demons.
>


I had heard that a Lift Pixie had been bred in Andora....

--
When dealing with propaganda terminology one sometimes always speaks in
variable absolutes. This is not to be mistaken for an unbiased slant.

[Jack Linthicum]

Tank Fixer > wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> on Fri, 27 Feb 2004 17:51:37 -0000,
> Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
> say .....
>
> >
> > No. Lift Demons eat Thrust Pixies and their genietic material is
> > incompatible so there are no hybrid Thrust Demons.
> >
>
>
> I had heard that a Lift Pixie had been bred in Andora....

As always the Chinese seem to have been there first. Temple in his
reduction of Needham down to 240 pages, The Genius of China, tells of
one Ko Hung.."Someone asked the Master (Ko Hung) about the principles
of mounting to dangerous heights and traveling into the vast inane.
The Master said..some have made flying cars with wood from the inner
part of the jujube tree, using ox leather straps fastened to returning
blades so as to set the machine in motion. Others have the idea of
making five snakes, six dragons and three oxen to meet the 'hard wind'
and ride on it, not stopping until they have risen to a height of 40
li (about 65,000 feet). The the ch'i [emnation of the sky or perhaps
wind] is extremely hard, so much so that it can overcome the strength
of human beings. <snip> Take dragons, for example; when they first
rise they go up using the clouds as steps, and after they attained a
height of forty li then they rush forward effortlessly gliding."

That jujube tree device sounds like the Osprey. It would seem we
should investigate the possibility of renting/leasing/buying some of
the Chinese dragons as insurance against Lift Pixie and Thrust Demon
labour action.

[Paul A. Suhler]

Jack Linthicum > wrote:

>As always the Chinese seem to have been there first. Temple in his
>reduction of Needham down to 240 pages, The Genius of China, tells of
>one Ko Hung.."Someone asked the Master (Ko Hung) about the principles
>of mounting to dangerous heights and traveling into the vast inane.
>The Master said..some have made flying cars with wood from the inner
>part of the jujube tree, using ox leather straps fastened to returning
>blades so as to set the machine in motion. Others have the idea of

Well, now that you've disclosed it, ox leather is the secret to the
high performance of the Lockheed Blackbird, hence the name of the
CIA project, OXCART.

[Fred J. McCall]

(Paul A. Suhler) wrote:

:Jack Linthicum > wrote:
:
:>As always the Chinese seem to have been there first. Temple in his
:>reduction of Needham down to 240 pages, The Genius of China, tells of
:>one Ko Hung.."Someone asked the Master (Ko Hung) about the principles
:>of mounting to dangerous heights and traveling into the vast inane.
:>The Master said..some have made flying cars with wood from the inner
:>part of the jujube tree, using ox leather straps fastened to returning
:>blades so as to set the machine in motion. Others have the idea of
:
:Well, now that you've disclosed it, ox leather is the secret to the
:high performance of the Lockheed Blackbird, hence the name of the
:CIA project, OXCART.

And the means for its high speed propulsion is also there in the name,
if you realize that a single letter was changed to hide what was
really going on....

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Jim Watt" > wrote

> Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds. Also
to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the aircraft.

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[George Shirley]

Juergen Nieveler wrote:
> Jim Watt > wrote:
>
>
>>Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>
>
> Only the export versions. The british versions use Banshees...
>
Which they lease from the Irish.

George

[Tank Fixer]

In article >,
on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
say .....

> "Jim Watt" > wrote
>
> > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>
> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

Only on the Sea Harriers.

>
> I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds. Also
> to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the aircraft.




--
When dealing with propaganda terminology one sometimes always speaks in
variable absolutes. This is not to be mistaken for an unbiased slant.

[Jim Watt]

On Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:49:02 GMT, Tank Fixer
> wrote:

>In article >,
> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
>say .....
>
>> "Jim Watt" > wrote
>>
>> > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>>
>> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>
>Only on the Sea Harriers.

I was thinking more of the under-sea harriers

--
Jim Watt http://www.gibnet.com

[George]

Tank Fixer > wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
> say .....
>
> > "Jim Watt" > wrote
> >
> > > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
> >
> > No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>
> Only on the Sea Harriers.
>
O I C

> > I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds. Also
> > to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the aircraft.
Correct

Sheep do it all! it's the hydralic rams that move the moveable.

[Dave Schrader]

Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
>
> "Jim Watt" > wrote
>
> > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>
> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

Being a scientist, I am greatly interested in experimenting with water
nymphs. :)

Dave Schrader

[Ron]

>Being a scientist, I am greatly interested in experimenting with water
>nymphs. :)

Yes, but then arent many of us pilots/scientists after nymphs and pixies in
need of thrust.


Ron
Tanker 65, C-54E (DC-4)

[Ron]

>Yes, but then arent many of us pilots/scientists after nymphs and pixies in
>need of thrust.
>
>
>Ron
>Tanker 65, C-54E (DC-4)

How about we revise that to mean there are those of us after nymphs and pixies
:)

See what happens when one imbibesin in libations and pixies.




Ron
Tanker 65, C-54E (DC-4)

[Jack Linthicum]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>
> In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
> that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
> blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
> function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
> acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
> are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
> seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
>
> Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
> sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
> passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
> environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
> texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
> problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
> during times of active operations.
>
> There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
> few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
> immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
> flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
> same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
> Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
> aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
> icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
>
> Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
> leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
> monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
> This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
> and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
> Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
> aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
> after midnight.

http://www.bewilderingstories.com/special/cyrano0.html
Perhaps the Lift Pixies live in dew, example:

But Cyrano wrote for a larger audience. He wrote much flashier stuff.
It took the hero of his book, Voyage to the Moon, several attempts to
get there. And what means he used!

He surrounded his body with glasses of morning dew. When the sun drew
the water up, it drew him with it. A group of soldiers tied their
ordnance to his flying machine and, like a modern rocket, it rose into
the sky.

As yet, Cyrano has not had a chance to get a word in edgewise, let
alone evince any surprise that Earth-Moon traffic has been as heavy as
Elijah seems to suggest. But he must be taking notes on propulsion
systems. Almost all the classical elements — earth, air, fire and
water — have been used in one way or another so far. To recapitulate:

Fire: Enoch uses the Heaven-bound smoke from his sacrifice. (This
might also qualify as hot air.)
Cyrano is launched from Quebec by rockets.
Water: Cyrano uses water for flight, namely the dew in the flasks that
carry him from France to Canada.
The Ark, carried by the Flood, takes Achab to the Moon.
Earth: The Moon's attraction of Cyrano's beef-marrow ointment may, at
a stretch, count as a use of dirt mode.
Air: Enoch's robe serves as a parachute.
Adam and Eve use levitation for flight. (This seems to be a special
case.)
and
"Next I had a very light iron chariot constructed. In a few months,
when all my devices were complete, I climbed onto my worthy chariot.
You may ask what it was all for. Well, the angel had told me in my
dream that if I wanted to acquire the perfect knowledge I desired, I
would have to go to the Moon. There I would find Adam's paradise and
the Tree of Knowledge. As soon as I had tasted its fruit, my mind
would be enlightened with all the truths a person could know. That is
the voyage for which I built my chariot.

"Finally, I climbed aboard and, when I was securely settled on the
seat, I tossed the magnetic ball high into the air. The chariot I had
built was more massive in the middle than at the ends; it was
perfectly balanced because the middle rose faster than the
extremities. When I had risen to the point that the magnet was drawing
me to, I seized the magnetic ball and tossed it into the air again."

The scientific world has progressed very little since the 17th
Century, the only expansion seems to be budgetary.

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Dave Schrader" > wrote in message
...
> Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
> >
> > "Jim Watt" > wrote
> >
> > > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
> >
> > No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>
> Being a scientist, I am greatly interested in experimenting with water
> nymphs. :)

Or water nymphos?

A certain colleague has suggested the time is right to mention our diligent
research into porcine aviation
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation.html

--
Sarah H

[Les Matheson]

Pictures. We want pictures.

Les

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
message ...
> "Dave Schrader" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
> > >
>> A certain colleague has suggested the time is right to mention our
diligent
> research into porcine aviation
> http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation.html
>
> --
> Sarah H
>
>

[Moggycat]

Porcine Aviation photo at
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation2.html

Very few images exist as the shutter speed on most cameras just isn't
fast enough to capture a flying pig in action - just get a blur as it
zooms past.

And of course there are nymph pictures at
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/clingfilm.html
(wrapped against water damage ;) )

"Les Matheson" > wrote in message news:<kgP0c.6098$fD2.5806@lakeread02>...
> Pictures. We want pictures.
>
> Les
>
> "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
> message ...
> > "Dave Schrader" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
> > > >
> >> A certain colleague has suggested the time is right to mention our
> diligent
> > research into porcine aviation
> > http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation.html
> >
> > --
> > Sarah H
> >
> >

[Jim Watt]

On Mon, 1 Mar 2004 20:00:36 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking"
> wrote:

>"Dave Schrader" > wrote in message
...
>> Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
>> >
>> > "Jim Watt" > wrote
>> >
>> > > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>> >
>> > No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>>
>> Being a scientist, I am greatly interested in experimenting with water
>> nymphs. :)
>
>Or water nymphos?
>
>A certain colleague has suggested the time is right to mention our diligent
>research into porcine aviation
>http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation.html

Theres evidence its already been achieved.

http://www.gibinquirer.net/truth2.htm
--
Jim Watt http://www.gibnet.com

[Fred J. McCall]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote:

:"Dave Schrader" > wrote in message
...
:> Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
:> >
:> > "Jim Watt" > wrote
:> >
:> > > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
:> >
:> > No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
:>
:> Being a scientist, I am greatly interested in experimenting with water
:> nymphs. :)
:
:Or water nymphos?
:
:A certain colleague has suggested the time is right to mention our diligent
:research into porcine aviation
:http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation.html

Which brings us to the unofficial motto where I work:

Let The Pigs Fly!


--
"Some people get lost in thought because it's such unfamiliar
territory."
--G. Behn

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Fred J. McCall" > wrote
> Which brings us to the unofficial motto where I work:
>
> Let The Pigs Fly!

At the risk of starting a motto competition:

"All pigs fed and ready to fly"

"Cry havoc and let fly the pigs of war" (military aerospace company)

"We're going full boar"

I was tempted to make jokes about boarsight, but it might turn sow-er and
then I'd feel gilt-y.

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"George" > wrote in message
om...
> Tank Fixer > wrote in message
>...
> > In article >,
> > on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> > Sarah Hotdesking attempted
to
> > say .....
> >
> > > I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds.
Also
> > > to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the
aircraft.
> Correct
>
> Sheep do it all! it's the hydraulic rams that move the moveable.

What, even on the flying pigs? Would the pigs feel a little, errm,
sheepish?

Andy Breen is the expert on airborne sheep, but I'll let him explain ....

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Tank Fixer" > wrote in message
k.net...
> In article >,
> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
> say .....
>
> > "Jim Watt" > wrote
> >
> > > Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
> >
> > No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>
> Only on the Sea Harriers.
>
Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids now (yes,
I know, there are probably quite a few of you who wouldn't mind getting into
mermaids if you could only work out how ...)

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
into the WorldWideWait:

> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote
>> Which brings us to the unofficial motto where I work:
>>
>> Let The Pigs Fly!
>
> At the risk of starting a motto competition:
>
> "All pigs fed and ready to fly"
>
> "Cry havoc and let fly the pigs of war" (military aerospace company)
>
> "We're going full boar"
>
> I was tempted to make jokes about boarsight, but it might turn
> sow-er and then I'd feel gilt-y.

After all, there's a reason sub-mariners go out on pigboats...
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
into the WorldWideWait:
> "Tank Fixer" > wrote in message
> k.net...
>> In article >,
>> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
>> Sarah Hotdesking
>> attempted to say .....
>>
>>> "Jim Watt" > wrote
>>>
>>>> Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>>>
>>> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>>
>> Only on the Sea Harriers.
>>
> Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids
> now (yes, I know, there are probably quite a few of you who
> wouldn't mind getting into mermaids if you could only work out how

Heh. Ahem. It's a myth that the fish-part starts at the *navel*... Why
did you think so many of us put in a career at sea?
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Phil Miller" > wrote in message
...
>
> ...and this one's from rec.aviation.military too.
>
> On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 11:18:04 -0800, "Jim E" >
> wrote:
>
> >
> >I have it on fair authority that current research in the field of inertia
> >free propulsion has shown great promise through the use of properly
modified
> >felines.
> >As I understand it, jelly (flavor not specified) is spread evenly over
the
> >felines back.
> >When the creature is tossed lightly into the air, the third
> >law of universal fate dictates that it land jelly side down.
> >However this does not occur due to the intervention of the feline landing
> >axiom (feet first).
> >The above conflicting forces result in a stable hover.
> >The subject felines have demonstrated the ability to control their own
> >velocity at will.
> >The only loose ends delaying the full commercialization of this process
is
> >the matter of persuading the felines to:
> >a. work in teams.
> >b. not lick off the jelly.
> >c. follow a flight plan.
> >As there seems to be a deficiency in feline herding instincts, any
> >suggestions would be appreciated by the parties involved.
> >

This is well-documented at http://members.aol.com/moggycat/purrpetual.htm

THE THEORY OF PURRPETUAL MOTION

Question: if you buttered the back of a cat, which way down would it land?

Law 1: The Laws of Butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground.

Law 2: The equally strict Laws of Feline Aerodynamics demand that the cat
cannot smash its furry back - it must land on its feet.

If the combined constructed of cat + butter were to land, nature would have
no way to resolve this paradox (or purradox). Therefore it cannot fall.

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is
dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast
is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then
dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches
above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form
the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered
side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with
Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter
the cats.

Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter,
there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:

p = s * t(t)/t?



'p' is the probability of carpet impact,

's' is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of
the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.
Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s
value of water is zero.

t? and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p
being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet
and topping, as even Chicken Tikka Masala won't cause a permanent and
obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you
use Chicken Tikka Masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives
a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on
its feet.

Therefore a cat with Chicken Tikka Masala on its back will be certain to
hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the
toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in
nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims
in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party
was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue
research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public
sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a
monorail powered by cats smeared with Chicken Tikka Masala floating above a
rail made from white shag pile carpet.

In essence, you have discovered the secret of antigravity. A buttered cat
will, when released, quickly move to a to a height where the forces of
cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point
can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or
removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

It has been theorized by some researchers that most of the civilized species
of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within
a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in
fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies. The most obvious danger of
feline antigravity propulsion is that lithe cats may manage to lick the
butter off their backs. They will then instantly plummet. Of course the cats
will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since
right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot
starship and ****ed off aliens crash on top of them. This suggests that
aliens have not yet discovered tikka masala sauce and that some researchers
really should stop watching Star Trek.

We must also consider the application of Murphy's Laws to this theory.
Murphy's Laws are also known as Sod's Law or the Law of
Perversity/Cussedness. In its simplest form, it states:

"Anything which can go wrong will go wrong"

Here are some of the more likely outcomes of the application of Murphy's Law
into Butterology/Feline Aerodynamics in an experiment involving a "cat +
buttered bread" scenario. We leave the Application of Murphy's Law to "cat +
tikka masala sauce" scenarios as a theoretical exercise for the reader.

As soon as you release said feline from a suitably high place, the strap
used to tie the bread to the back of the cat will break, thus nullifying the
bond between the bread and the feline. You may attempt to defy this by
applying the butter directly to the cat's fur, in which case the cat will
lick off part of your carefully calculated quantity of butter (i.e. that
amount which holds the cat-butter assemblage in equilibrium)

In either case, a very cross cat will land on its feet, claws extended, upon
a lawyer's brand new soft-top car - scratching the top to shreds if it is
raised or depositing copious amounts of fear-induced feline excrement on the
driver's seat if the top is lowered.

Meanwhile, the liberated piece of buttered bread will fall buttered side
down, landing on the toupee of the only newspaper reporter foolhardy enough
to cover this misguided experiment, resulting in a reference to you in the
Weekly World News (or New Scientist), in which your name will appear
adjacent to the phrase phrase "foolish quack".

At the same time, a concerned passer-by will report your experiment to the
PETA, your country's main SPCA, anti-animal-experimentation groups etc etc,
leading to your arrest, trial and conviction upon charges of animal abuse.
Following headlines of "Cat-throwing scientist on cruelty charges" you will
spend a couple of years answering to the name "Cindy" chosen by your
love-starved cellmate "Butch". You will be banned from ever keeping animals
and banned from the dairy products section of all major supermarkets.

Addendum:

The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the
equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat cannot smash
its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no
way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall. You have
discovered the secret of antigravity!

A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the
forces of cat and butter are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be
modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing
some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to
drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by
most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred buttered
tabbies.

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Jack Linthicum]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
> In ,
> Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> into the WorldWideWait:
> > "Tank Fixer" > wrote in message
> > k.net...
> >> In article >,
> >> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> >> Sarah Hotdesking
> >> attempted to say .....
> >>
> >>> "Jim Watt" > wrote
> >>>
> >>>> Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
> >>>
> >>> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
> >>
> >> Only on the Sea Harriers.
> >>
> > Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids
> > now (yes, I know, there are probably quite a few of you who
> > wouldn't mind getting into mermaids if you could only work out how
>
> Heh. Ahem. It's a myth that the fish-part starts at the *navel*... Why
> did you think so many of us put in a career at sea?

http://www.webcoast.com/environment/manatees.htm
It has been stated elsewhere that sailors thought manatees were
mermaids. It certainly wasn't the looks, maybe the breath.

[George]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
> In ,
> Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> into the WorldWideWait:
> > "Tank Fixer" > wrote in message
> > k.net...
> >> In article >,
> >> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> >> Sarah Hotdesking
> >> attempted to say .....
> >>
> >>> "Jim Watt" > wrote
> >>>
> >>>> Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
> >>>
> >>> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
> >>
> >> Only on the Sea Harriers.
> >>
> > Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids
> > now (yes, I know, there are probably quite a few of you who
> > wouldn't mind getting into mermaids if you could only work out how
>
> Heh. Ahem. It's a myth that the fish-part starts at the *navel*... Why
> did you think so many of us put in a career at sea?

And we're not going to mention navel stokers we're not :-)

[Duke of URL]

In om,
George > radiated into the WorldWideWait:

> "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
> >...
>> In ,
>> Sarah Hotdesking >
>> radiated into the WorldWideWait:
>>> "Tank Fixer" > wrote in message
>>> k.net...
>>>> In article >,
>>>> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
>>>> Sarah Hotdesking
>>>> attempted to say .....
>>>>
>>>>> "Jim Watt" > wrote
>>>>>
>>>>>> Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
>>>>>
>>>>> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
>>>>
>>>> Only on the Sea Harriers.
>>>>
>>> Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids
>>> now (yes, I know, there are probably quite a few of you who
>>> wouldn't mind getting into mermaids if you could only work out how
>>
>> Heh. Ahem. It's a myth that the fish-part starts at the *navel*...
>> Why did you think so many of us put in a career at sea?
>
> And we're not going to mention navel stokers we're not :-)

No, certainly not.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
into the WorldWideWait:

WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala? Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Jack Linthicum]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>
> In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
> that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
> blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
> function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
> acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
> are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
> seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
>
> Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
> sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
> passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
> environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
> texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
> problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
> during times of active operations.
>
> There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
> few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
> immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
> flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
> same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
> Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
> aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
> icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
>
> Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
> leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
> monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
> This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
> and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
> Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
> aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
> after midnight.


No one seems to have mentioned the method used by contract air
services in WestPac in the 1960s. I flew from Tachikawa to Hong Kong
and the pilot assured us upon landing that we would awaken and
remember only a very pleasant trip and would empty our wallets into
the container held by the hostesses as we left the airplane.

[Pooh Bear]

Duke of URL wrote:

> In ,
> Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> into the WorldWideWait:
>
> WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala?

Not *actually* strictly curry - but you get the idea ? The sauce is kinda
violently colourful. It stains things wonderfully too.

> Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?

Buffalos have wings ? Do they fly too ?


Graham :-)

[George]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
> In om,
> George > radiated into the WorldWideWait:
>
> > "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
> > >...
> >> In ,
> >> Sarah Hotdesking >
> >> radiated into the WorldWideWait:
> >>> "Tank Fixer" > wrote in message
> >>> k.net...
> >>>> In article >,
> >>>> on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
> >>>> Sarah Hotdesking
> >>>> attempted to say .....
> >>>>
> >>>>> "Jim Watt" > wrote
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
> >>>>>
> >>>>> No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.
> >>>>
> >>>> Only on the Sea Harriers.
> >>>>
> >>> Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids
> >>> now (yes, I know, there are probably quite a few of you who
> >>> wouldn't mind getting into mermaids if you could only work out how
> >>
> >> Heh. Ahem. It's a myth that the fish-part starts at the *navel*...
> >> Why did you think so many of us put in a career at sea?
> >
> > And we're not going to mention navel stokers we're not :-)
>
> No, certainly not.

And especially not knotted navel stokers in the dogs
couldn't resist the pun

[Brian Sharrock]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
...
> In ,
> Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> into the WorldWideWait:
>
> WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala? Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?

Chicken Tikka Masala (CTM) is apparently the most requested (I nearly
said popular) dish served in Indian-restaurants in the UK. The dish is
reputed to have originated in the midlands when a Brummie asked the
waiter for some sauce for the diner's rather dry roast chicken pieces.
The resultant dish became famous, now appears on the menu in almost
every Indian-Takeaway outlet and can be found in the instant-meal
section of supermarkets. AIUI, the dish is now exported to the Indian
subcontinent itself!

CTM could be regarded as a culinary disaster and many military(aviators)
and matelots consume vast quantities on runs ashore.

HTH

--

Brian

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Pooh Bear > radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> Duke of URL wrote:

>> WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala?
>
> Not *actually* strictly curry - but you get the idea? The sauce is
> kinda violently colourful. It stains things wonderfully too.

Oh yes - that gives a *very* impressive image!

>> Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?
>
> Buffalos have wings? Do they fly too ?

Only the ones from New York.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Jack Linthicum]

"Brian Sharrock" > wrote in message >...
> "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
> ...
> > In ,
> > Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> > into the WorldWideWait:
> >
> > WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala? Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?
>
> Chicken Tikka Masala (CTM) is apparently the most requested (I nearly
> said popular) dish served in Indian-restaurants in the UK. The dish is
> reputed to have originated in the midlands when a Brummie asked the
> waiter for some sauce for the diner's rather dry roast chicken pieces.
> The resultant dish became famous, now appears on the menu in almost
> every Indian-Takeaway outlet and can be found in the instant-meal
> section of supermarkets. AIUI, the dish is now exported to the Indian
> subcontinent itself!
>
> CTM could be regarded as a culinary disaster and many military(aviators)
> and matelots consume vast quantities on runs ashore.
>
>

For those lucky enough to find theselves in Tokyo and in need of a
real spicy food fix may I recommend the Restaurant Ajanta? Try the dry
minced curry (Called Chicken Korma in the rest of the world) and be
very careful if you are offered what appears to be an innocent
marinated vegetable salad. http://www.ajanta.co.jp/index-e.html They
used to be in a little hole-in-the wall near the Indian Embassy but
from their ad now seem to have gone high-rise.

[Jack Linthicum]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote
> > Which brings us to the unofficial motto where I work:
> >
> > Let The Pigs Fly!
>
> At the risk of starting a motto competition:
>
> "All pigs fed and ready to fly"
>
> "Cry havoc and let fly the pigs of war" (military aerospace company)
>
> "We're going full boar"
>
> I was tempted to make jokes about boarsight, but it might turn sow-er and
> then I'd feel gilt-y.

It would appear that the Jim Henson Muppet Show "Pigs in Space"
continuing skit about the Starship Swine Trek made it to Angli-terre.

JIM HENSON'S MUPPETS: PIGS IN SPACE DELUXE PLAYSET
If any single skit from The Muppet Show leaps to mind when thinking
about the glory days of the show, it is Pigs in Space! Featuring Capt.
Link Hogthrob, Dr. Strangepork (Series 4), and First Mate Piggy, Pigs
in Space chronicled the adventures of the crew of the Swine Trek on
all sorts of wacky adventures! This deluxe playset captures all of the
details from the bridge of the Swine Trek, and then some! All the
chairs swivel and move forward and backward; all the levers move; the
TV consoles swivel and are removable; the doors open and close with
spring-loaded action; and the walls swivel back and forth to increase
the size of the play area. The Viewscreen is interchangeable, with six
different options for display and fun. With the extra consoles and
parts, you can mix and match and create new bridge sections, a
one-eyed robot, and much, much more! Includes and exclusive First Mate
Piggy action figure, with a new likeness and 14 points of
articulation. Window box packaging.

JIM HENSON'S MUPPETS: PIGS IN SPACE DELUXE PLAYSET

Price: £34.95

[Grantland]

(Jack Linthicum) slimed:

>"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
>> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote
>> > Which brings us to the unofficial motto where I work:
>> >
>> > Let The Pigs Fly!
>>
>> At the risk of starting a motto competition:
>>
>> "All pigs fed and ready to fly"
>>
>> "Cry havoc and let fly the pigs of war" (military aerospace company)
>>
>> "We're going full boar"
>>
>> I was tempted to make jokes about boarsight, but it might turn sow-er and
>> then I'd feel gilt-y.
>
>It would appear that the Jim Henson Muppet Show "Pigs in Space"
>continuing skit about the Starship Swine Trek made it to Angli-terre.
>
>JIM HENSON'S MUPPETS: PIGS IN SPACE DELUXE PLAYSET
>If any single skit from The Muppet Show leaps to mind when thinking
>about the glory days of the show, it is Pigs in Space! Featuring Capt.
>Link Hogthrob, Dr. Strangepork (Series 4), and First Mate Piggy, Pigs
>in Space chronicled the adventures of the crew of the Swine Trek on

'Bet you got a kick out of that, eh, slimeboy.

Grantland

[Moggycat]

"Brian Sharrock" > wrote
>
> Chicken Tikka Masala (CTM) is apparently the most requested (I nearly
> said popular) dish served in Indian-restaurants in the UK. The dish is
> reputed to have originated in the midlands when a Brummie asked the
> waiter for some sauce for the diner's rather dry roast chicken pieces.

I heard that it originated on Manchester's "Curry Mile"; same story
about wanting sauce (a result of Brits liking gravy with their meat),
but allegedly the sauce was made using Campbell's tomato soup and
curry spices.

> The resultant dish became famous, now appears on the menu in almost
> every Indian-Takeaway outlet and can be found in the instant-meal
> section of supermarkets. AIUI, the dish is now exported to the Indian
> subcontinent itself!

Birmingham is the home of Balti, also exported and found in the
ready-meals chilled cabinets the length and breadth of Britain.
However balti lacks the staining power of a relly good tikka masala
and is less useful in feline propulsion units.

I'm advised that many instances of civil planes mysteriously falling
out of the sky can be traced to (a) cessation of happy thoughts/lack
of lemon fondant for the pixies or to (b) a large amount of happy
thoughts/gateau mountain at ground level distracting the pixies from
their task. This may, of course, be utter hogwash, but then we'd be
back to the flying pigs ....

[running with scissors]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
> In ,
> Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> into the WorldWideWait:
>
> WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala? Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?

mild indian dish, which of course everyone knows that traditional
english food is indian.

another variation of the dish, which is often found in less reputable
resteraunts is the "kitten tikka masala"

[running with scissors]

"Brian Sharrock" > wrote in message >...
> "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
> ...
> > In ,
> > Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
> > into the WorldWideWait:
> >
> > WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala? Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?
>
> Chicken Tikka Masala (CTM) is apparently the most requested (I nearly
> said popular) dish served in Indian-restaurants in the UK. The dish is
> reputed to have originated in the midlands when a Brummie asked the
> waiter for some sauce for the diner's rather dry roast chicken pieces.
> The resultant dish became famous, now appears on the menu in almost
> every Indian-Takeaway outlet and can be found in the instant-meal
> section of supermarkets. AIUI, the dish is now exported to the Indian
> subcontinent itself!
>
> CTM could be regarded as a culinary disaster and many military(aviators)
> and matelots consume vast quantities on runs ashore.
>
> HTH

there could be a variation on those last two words if mutton vindaloo
was the subject.

[Jack Linthicum]

(Grantland) wrote in message >...
> (Jack Linthicum) slimed:
>
> >"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> >> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote
> >> > Which brings us to the unofficial motto where I work:
> >> >
> >> > Let The Pigs Fly!
> >>
> >> At the risk of starting a motto competition:
> >>
> >> "All pigs fed and ready to fly"
> >>
> >> "Cry havoc and let fly the pigs of war" (military aerospace company)
> >>
> >> "We're going full boar"
> >>
> >> I was tempted to make jokes about boarsight, but it might turn sow-er and
> >> then I'd feel gilt-y.
> >
> >It would appear that the Jim Henson Muppet Show "Pigs in Space"
> >continuing skit about the Starship Swine Trek made it to Angli-terre.
> >
> >JIM HENSON'S MUPPETS: PIGS IN SPACE DELUXE PLAYSET
> >If any single skit from The Muppet Show leaps to mind when thinking
> >about the glory days of the show, it is Pigs in Space! Featuring Capt.
> >Link Hogthrob, Dr. Strangepork (Series 4), and First Mate Piggy, Pigs
> >in Space chronicled the adventures of the crew of the Swine Trek on
>
> 'Bet you got a kick out of that, eh, slimeboy.
>
>

I probably should be the last one in this NG to ask this question but:
what brought on the gratuitous crack? Someone step on your hands as
you were leaving your local?

[George]

(Moggycat) wrote in message >...
> "Brian Sharrock" > wrote
> >
> > Chicken Tikka Masala (CTM) is apparently the most requested (I nearly
> > said popular) dish served in Indian-restaurants in the UK. The dish is
> > reputed to have originated in the midlands when a Brummie asked the
> > waiter for some sauce for the diner's rather dry roast chicken pieces.
>
> I heard that it originated on Manchester's "Curry Mile"; same story
> about wanting sauce (a result of Brits liking gravy with their meat),
> but allegedly the sauce was made using Campbell's tomato soup and
> curry spices.
>
> > The resultant dish became famous, now appears on the menu in almost
> > every Indian-Takeaway outlet and can be found in the instant-meal
> > section of supermarkets. AIUI, the dish is now exported to the Indian
> > subcontinent itself!
>
> Birmingham is the home of Balti, also exported and found in the
> ready-meals chilled cabinets the length and breadth of Britain.
> However balti lacks the staining power of a relly good tikka masala
> and is less useful in feline propulsion units.
>
> I'm advised that many instances of civil planes mysteriously falling
> out of the sky can be traced to (a) cessation of happy thoughts/lack
> of lemon fondant for the pixies or to (b) a large amount of happy
> thoughts/gateau mountain at ground level distracting the pixies from
> their task. This may, of course, be utter hogwash, but then we'd be
> back to the flying pigs ....



Curry powered flying pigs any-one ?

[George]

(Moggycat) wrote in message >...
> Porcine Aviation photo at
> http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/porcine-aviation2.html
>
> Very few images exist as the shutter speed on most cameras just isn't
> fast enough to capture a flying pig in action - just get a blur as it
> zooms past.
>

So there -are- UFP's (Unidentified Flying Porcines) its that you can't
read the ear tag as they flash by :-)

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"George" > wrote in message
om...
> (Moggycat) wrote in message
>...
> >
> > I'm advised that many instances of civil planes mysteriously falling
> > out of the sky can be traced to (a) cessation of happy thoughts
[which cause Thrust Pixies to withdraw their effort]

Happy thoughts may cease if another passenger suffers the gaseous
consequences of last night's curry. Confined spaces and curry-fuelled farts
do not go together well.

> Curry powered flying pigs any-one ?

Only when projectile vomiting a dodgy pork curry .....

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Jim Watt]

On Wed, 3 Mar 2004 20:32:29 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking"
> wrote:

>"George" > wrote in message
om...
>> (Moggycat) wrote in message
>...
>> >
>> > I'm advised that many instances of civil planes mysteriously falling
>> > out of the sky can be traced to (a) cessation of happy thoughts
>[which cause Thrust Pixies to withdraw their effort]
>
>Happy thoughts may cease if another passenger suffers the gaseous
>consequences of last night's curry. Confined spaces and curry-fuelled farts
>do not go together well.
>
>> Curry powered flying pigs any-one ?
>
>Only when projectile vomiting a dodgy pork curry .....

"The Ladies' Handbook includes a small section addressing etiquette
at common events (meals, church, church fair, funeral, wedding) plus
a section of approximately 150 recipes."

http://www.acanthus-books.com/ladethannewh.html

ah the times they are a-changing.


--
Jim Watt
Gibraltar Information and Images
http://www.gibnet.com

[Fred J. McCall]

(George) wrote:

:Curry powered flying pigs any-one ?

Only if you can guarantee I'll never be under one....

[Gernot Hassenpflug]

(Jack Linthicum) writes:

> For those lucky enough to find theselves in Tokyo and in need of a
> real spicy food fix may I recommend the Restaurant Ajanta? Try the dry
> minced curry (Called Chicken Korma in the rest of the world) and be
> very careful if you are offered what appears to be an innocent
> marinated vegetable salad. http://www.ajanta.co.jp/index-e.html They
> used to be in a little hole-in-the wall near the Indian Embassy but
> from their ad now seem to have gone high-rise.

Aha, wonderful! Thanks for that. Are you in Japan occasionally then?
Let me know...
--
G Hassenpflug * IJN & JMSDF equipment/history fan

[Gernot Hassenpflug]

(running with scissors) writes:

> "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
>> In ,
>> Sarah Hotdesking > radiated
>> into the WorldWideWait:
>>
>> WTH is Chicken Tikka Masala? Is that anything like Buffalo Wings?
>
> mild indian dish, which of course everyone knows that traditional
> english food is indian.

Indeed, when the IJN copied the RN's practices, they incorporated as
well the typical Britich custom of curry for Friday lunch.

> another variation of the dish, which is often found in less reputable
> resteraunts is the "kitten tikka masala"

Hoohah, variations on a theme.

--
G Hassenpflug * IJN & JMSDF equipment/history fan

[Jan-Olov Newborg]

(Jack Linthicum) wrote in message >...
> "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> > I received this today:-
> >
> > There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> > out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> > know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> > Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> > weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> > disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
> > conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
> >
> > In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
> > that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
> > blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
> > function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
> > acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
> > are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
> > seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
> >
> > Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
> > sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
> > passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
> > environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
> > texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
> > problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
> > during times of active operations.
> >
> > There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
> > few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
> > immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
> > flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
> > same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
> > Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
> > aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
> > icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
> >
> > Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
> > leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
> > monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
> > This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
> > and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
> > Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
> > aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> > these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
> > after midnight.
>
>
> No one seems to have mentioned the method used by contract air
> services in WestPac in the 1960s. I flew from Tachikawa to Hong Kong
> and the pilot assured us upon landing that we would awaken and
> remember only a very pleasant trip and would empty our wallets into
> the container held by the hostesses as we left the airplane.

Here is a new article explaining Lift without Lift Demons!:

http://ej.iop.org/links/q33/,iXwkh9emParOkFa7maiFg/pe3_6_001.pdf "How do wings work?


Jan-Olov Newborg

[Jan-Olov Newborg]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> I received this today:-
>
> There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
> out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
> know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
> Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
> weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
> disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
> conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
>
> In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
> that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
> blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
> function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
> acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
> are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
> seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
>
> Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
> sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
> passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
> environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
> texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
> problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
> during times of active operations.
>
> There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
> few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
> immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
> flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
> same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
> Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
> aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
> icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
>
> Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
> leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
> monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
> This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
> and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
> Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
> aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
> these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
> after midnight.

A better link to new Non Lift Demon Article:

http://www.iop.org/EJ/abstract/0031-9120/38/6/001/


Jan-Olov Newborg

[Jack Linthicum]

Gernot Hassenpflug > wrote in message >...
> (Jack Linthicum) writes:
>
> > For those lucky enough to find theselves in Tokyo and in need of a
> > real spicy food fix may I recommend the Restaurant Ajanta? Try the dry
> > minced curry (Called Chicken Korma in the rest of the world) and be
> > very careful if you are offered what appears to be an innocent
> > marinated vegetable salad. http://www.ajanta.co.jp/index-e.html They
> > used to be in a little hole-in-the wall near the Indian Embassy but
> > from their ad now seem to have gone high-rise.
>
> Aha, wonderful! Thanks for that. Are you in Japan occasionally then?
> Let me know...

Not recently, I got the recipe for Dry Mince Curry from Mr. Murti the
Younger. Mr. Murti Senior used to pull the free salad routine on those
who thought they could handle hot foods. Unfortunately beer doesn't
help, although a liter bottle can make you feel like it doesn't
matter.

[Sarah Hotdesking]

> > >I have it on fair authority that current research in the field of
inertia
> > >free propulsion has shown great promise through the use of properly
>> > modified felines.

There seem to be some modified felines at www.messybeast.com/winged-cats.htm
and even some reports of flightworthiness!

[Peter Twydell]

There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
had been buttered.

I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Bruce B. Reynolds]

>There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
>discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
>down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
>had been buttered.

Then you know also of the experiment of fastening a piece of buttered toast
(which always lands buttered-side-down) to the back of a cat (which always
lands feet-down). Drop the combination from a reasonable height and it will
hover in mid-air while the paradox is being resolved.
--
Bruce B. Reynolds, Trailing Edge Technologies, Glenside PA

[George]

Peter Twydell > wrote in message >...
> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
> discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
> down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
> had been buttered.
>
> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
> methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?

That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
to be buttered side.
To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
:-)

[Syiad Tariq Al-Duri]

Sarah Hotdesking wrote:


> Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple
> formula:
>
> p = s * t(t)/t?
>
>
>
> 'p' is the probability of carpet impact,
>
> 's' is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an
> indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently
> staining the carpet. Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very
> high s value, while the s value of water is zero.
>
> t? and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of
> p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the
> carpet and topping, as even Chicken Tikka Masala won't cause a
> permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

I think you missed the important factor 'v' in the above equation. 'v'
is the value of the carpet.

Syiad
--
Live every life as if it were your last.

[Mary Shafer]

On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 20:09:29 GMT, Mike Lechnar
> wrote:

> How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
> been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
> and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
> public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
> Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
> speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
> end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".

I let the cat out of the bag over a decade ago.

Here, in a sci.aeronautics posting from 1994, is the explanation of
lift demons. It has since been elaborated a bit.

Subject: Lift demons

Mary Shafer ) explains lift:

OK, here it is--the real, intuitively-obvious-even-to-the-lay-person
explanation of lift.

People, lift is caused by lift demons. These little, invisible demons
hold on to the leading and trailing edges of the aircraft and lift it
into the air by flapping their wings (so, in a reductionist sense,
lift is actually caused by feathers). Some of the demons are a little
confused and they hold on backwards, causing drag.

The reason that planes stall at high alpha is that the leading edge
demons get scared and let go when they can't see the ground anymore.

Lift demons have good taste and don't like to look at ugly aircraft,
so they hold on backwards on ugly planes. That's why gliders have
so much lift and so little drag and why F-4s have lots of drag.

John Wolter ) asked:

What I would like is a simple *intuitive* explanation of what
causes lift
on a lift demon's wing. (Here we go again... ;-)

Mary Shafer ) replied:

Feathers. The multiple filaments on feathers trap the air molecules
and they struggle to escape, which causes the action-reaction that we
call lift. Bat wings don't have feathers but they're hairy and that
works just about as well (air molecules are a little claustrophobic).

And Richard Winterstein ) suggested another
mechanism:

It was originally believed smaller lift demons, who had their lift
produced by even smaller lift demons, etc., as proposed by the great
Greek philosopher/scientist Miasma. However, with the revival of
scientific knowledge that eventually ended the Dark Ages, it was
realized that this situation was unresolvable according to Zeno's
paradox.

Of course, the 'infinite demons' theory works in many problems of
engineering significance, but a real understanding requires that the
ether be introduced into the analysis at some point. The ether
concept, of course, explains why planes fly more efficiently at higher
altitudes, and, of course, is an absolute necessity when studying
orbital and interplanetary travel, where (it is believed) many of the
lift demons are unable to breathe. Hope that settles the question.

And in a follow-up:

Do shock waves act like cattle prods and make the lift deamons
try to escape? Is why supersonic aircraft are so fast and so
noisy. Why do blimps work? -D

[Moderator's note: Blimps work because the lift demons can cling to
the seams in the envelope and the wires for the advertising lights, of
course. And there are specialized supersonic lift demons (they hang
around Harley-Davidsons when there's nothing flying) that are a little
noisy. Transonic drag rise/lift reduction is caused by the subsonic
lift demons handing off to the supersonic lift demons, since there are
only so many places for the demon to grab on. I'd never thought about
the shock waves--any ideas out there? MFS]
--
Mary Shafer Retired aerospace research engineer

[N329DF]

actually, it is a very simple answer,
Money
the more you throw at a plane, the faster/higher it goes.

Matt Gunsch,
A&P,IA,Private Pilot
Riding member of the
2003 world champion drill team
Arizona Precision Motorcycle Drill Team
GWRRA,NRA,GOA

[machf]

On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:38:31 -0800, Mary Shafer > wrote:

>On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 20:09:29 GMT, Mike Lechnar
> wrote:
>
>> How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
>> been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
>> and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
>> public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
>> Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
>> speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
>> end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".
>
>I let the cat out of the bag over a decade ago.
>
>Here, in a sci.aeronautics posting from 1994, is the explanation of
>lift demons. It has since been elaborated a bit.
>
>Subject: Lift demons
>
>Mary Shafer ) explains lift:
>
>OK, here it is--the real, intuitively-obvious-even-to-the-lay-person
>explanation of lift.
>
>People, lift is caused by lift demons. These little, invisible demons
>hold on to the leading and trailing edges of the aircraft and lift it
>into the air by flapping their wings (so, in a reductionist sense,
>lift is actually caused by feathers). Some of the demons are a little
>confused and they hold on backwards, causing drag.
>
>The reason that planes stall at high alpha is that the leading edge
>demons get scared and let go when they can't see the ground anymore.
>
>Lift demons have good taste and don't like to look at ugly aircraft,
>so they hold on backwards on ugly planes. That's why gliders have
>so much lift and so little drag and why F-4s have lots of drag.
>
>John Wolter ) asked:
>
> What I would like is a simple *intuitive* explanation of what
>causes lift
> on a lift demon's wing. (Here we go again... ;-)
>
>Mary Shafer ) replied:
>
>Feathers. The multiple filaments on feathers trap the air molecules
>and they struggle to escape, which causes the action-reaction that we
>call lift. Bat wings don't have feathers but they're hairy and that
>works just about as well (air molecules are a little claustrophobic).
>
>And Richard Winterstein ) suggested another
>mechanism:
>
>It was originally believed smaller lift demons, who had their lift
>produced by even smaller lift demons, etc., as proposed by the great
>Greek philosopher/scientist Miasma. However, with the revival of
>scientific knowledge that eventually ended the Dark Ages, it was
>realized that this situation was unresolvable according to Zeno's
>paradox.
>
>Of course, the 'infinite demons' theory works in many problems of
>engineering significance, but a real understanding requires that the
>ether be introduced into the analysis at some point. The ether
>concept, of course, explains why planes fly more efficiently at higher
>altitudes, and, of course, is an absolute necessity when studying
>orbital and interplanetary travel, where (it is believed) many of the
>lift demons are unable to breathe. Hope that settles the question.
>
>And in a follow-up:
>
>Do shock waves act like cattle prods and make the lift deamons
>try to escape? Is why supersonic aircraft are so fast and so
>noisy. Why do blimps work? -D
>
>[Moderator's note: Blimps work because the lift demons can cling to
>the seams in the envelope and the wires for the advertising lights, of
>course. And there are specialized supersonic lift demons (they hang
>around Harley-Davidsons when there's nothing flying) that are a little
>noisy. Transonic drag rise/lift reduction is caused by the subsonic
>lift demons handing off to the supersonic lift demons, since there are
>only so many places for the demon to grab on. I'd never thought about
>the shock waves--any ideas out there? MFS]

But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no feathers or
hairs on their wings?
;-)

--
__________ ____---____ Marco Antonio Checa Funcke
\_________D /-/---_----' Santiago de Surco, Lima, Peru
_H__/_/ http://machf.tripod.com
'-_____|(

remove the "no_me_j." and "sons.of." parts before replying

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, George
> writes
>Peter Twydell > wrote in message news:<pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
>...
>> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
>> discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
>> down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
>> had been buttered.
>>
>> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
>> methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?
>
>That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
>to be buttered side.
>To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
>drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
>:-)

This would IMHO lead to either:
the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
or:
the toast landing on its edge.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Moggycat]

machf > wrote in message >...
> On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:38:31 -0800, Mary Shafer > wrote:
>
> >On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 20:09:29 GMT, Mike Lechnar
> > wrote:
> >
> >> How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
> >> been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
> >> and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
> >> public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
> >> Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
> >> speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
> >> end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".
> >
> >I let the cat out of the bag over a decade ago.
> >

But we've moved on a great deal since 1994! It's been known for quite
a while that Lift Demons are really only suited for military uses.
Outside of military aviation, Lift Demons are passe - they have
notoriously short attention spans and the ones used on Harriers have
problems discriminating between air and water. Inbreeding in pursuit
of the ultimate high performance Lift Demon may have been the cause.
The way ahead lies with Thrust Pixies, large amounts of lemon fondant
icing and in-flight Hugh Grant movies, at least in civil aviation.

[Jim Doyle]

"Moggycat" > wrote in message
om...
> machf > wrote in message
>...
> > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:38:31 -0800, Mary Shafer > wrote:
> >
> > >On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 20:09:29 GMT, Mike Lechnar
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > >> How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
> > >> been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
> > >> and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the
official
> > >> public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
> > >> Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally
don't
> > >> speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates
usually
> > >> end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".
> > >
> > >I let the cat out of the bag over a decade ago.
> > >
>
> But we've moved on a great deal since 1994! It's been known for quite
> a while that Lift Demons are really only suited for military uses.
> Outside of military aviation, Lift Demons are passe - they have
> notoriously short attention spans and the ones used on Harriers have
> problems discriminating between air and water. Inbreeding in pursuit
> of the ultimate high performance Lift Demon may have been the cause.
> The way ahead lies with Thrust Pixies, large amounts of lemon fondant
> icing and in-flight Hugh Grant movies, at least in civil aviation.

Hugh Grant movies?! That's too high a price to pay for advancements in the
civil aircraft sector! Ground 'em, ground 'em for good.

[[email protected]]

Peter Twydell > wrote:

>In article >, George
> writes
>>Peter Twydell > wrote in message news:<pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
>...
>>> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
>>> discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
>>> down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
>>> had been buttered.
>>>
>>> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
>>> methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?
>>
>>That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
>>to be buttered side.
>>To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
>>drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
>>:-)
>
>This would IMHO lead to either:
>the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
>or:
>the toast landing on its edge.

Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
*which* edge to butter...
--

-Gord.

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Gord Beaman
<?@?.?> writes
>Peter Twydell > wrote:
>
>>In article >, George
> writes
>>>Peter Twydell > wrote in message
>news:<pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
>...
>>>> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
>>>> discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
>>>> down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong side
>>>> had been buttered.
>>>>
>>>> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
>>>> methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?
>>>
>>>That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
>>>to be buttered side.
>>>To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
>>>drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
>>>:-)
>>
>>This would IMHO lead to either:
>>the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
>>or:
>>the toast landing on its edge.
>
>Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>*which* edge to butter...
>--
>
>-Gord.

Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side of
the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark practices
that you get up to in the Colonies.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
...
> Peter Twydell > wrote:
>
> >In article >, George
> > writes
> >>Peter Twydell > wrote in message
news:<pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+
> >...
> >>> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and it was
> >>> discovered that the toast did not always land with the buttered side
> >>> down. Further investigation showed that this was because the wrong
side
> >>> had been buttered.
> >>>
> >>> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone know what
> >>> methods are used to ensure that the correct side is buttered?
> >>
> >>That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is NOT the
> >>to be buttered side.
> >>To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides and
> >>drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
> >>:-)
> >
> >This would IMHO lead to either:
> >the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating laterally
> >or:
> >the toast landing on its edge.
>
> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
> *which* edge to butter...

And what butter to use ....

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Peter Twydell" > wrote
> Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side of
> the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark practices
> that you get up to in the Colonies.

Edge-buttering is sometimes necessary for practitioners of the
daft<DEL><DEL>rk Welsh practice of baragami
(http://members.aol.com/llewtrah/baragami.htm )

--
Sarah H
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Duke of URL]

In om,
Moggycat > radiated into the WorldWideWait:

> But we've moved on a great deal since 1994! It's been known for
> quite a while that Lift Demons are really only suited for military
> uses. Outside of military aviation, Lift Demons are passe - they
> have notoriously short attention spans and the ones used on
> Harriers have problems discriminating between air and water.
> Inbreeding in pursuit of the ultimate high performance Lift Demon
> may have been the cause. The way ahead lies with Thrust Pixies,
> large amounts of lemon fondant icing and in-flight Hugh Grant
> movies, at least in civil aviation.

Thrust Pixies are fine for pixilated civilians and the Air Farce.
Lift Demons were good in years past.
But now, Naval Aviation is all Angel-powered. The very best ones are
Blue Angels, of course. That's why they report their altitude as
"angels twenty" or such...
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Jim Doyle > radiated into the WorldWideWait:

> Hugh Grant movies?! That's too high a price to pay for advancements
> in the civil aircraft sector! Ground 'em, ground 'em for good.

Who's Hugh Grant?
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Peter Twydell > radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> In article >, Gord Beaman
> <?@?.?> writes
>> Peter Twydell > wrote:
>>> In article >,
>>> George > writes
>>>> Peter Twydell > wrote in message
>>>> news:<pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+ @ntlworld.com>...

>>>>> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and
>>>>> it was discovered that the toast did not always land with the
>>>>> buttered side down. Further investigation showed that this was
>>>>> because the wrong side had been buttered.
>>>>> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone
>>>>> know what methods are used to ensure that the correct side is
>>>>> buttered?
>>>>
>>>> That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is
>>>> NOT the to be buttered side.
>>>> To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides
>>>> and drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
>>>
>>> This would IMHO lead to either:
>>> the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating
>>> laterally or the toast landing on its edge.
>>
>> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>> *which* edge to butter...
>
> Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side
> of the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark
> practices that you get up to in the Colonies.

Well, of COURSE. If you don't, it's hard to get the little
bread-holder to retract into the laser-toaster in the computer.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Steve Hix]

In article >,
machf > wrote:
>
> But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no feathers or
> hairs on their wings?
> ;-)

They have wing hairs, but they're *really* tiny:

<http://science.exeter.edu/jekstrom/Color/Menu/Bee/Wing/Wing1C.jpg>

<http://bugscope.beckman.uiuc.edu/members/2001-020/data/presets/preset-3-
640x480.jpg>

[George]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
> In ,
> Peter Twydell > radiated into the
> WorldWideWait:
> > In article >, Gord Beaman
> > <?@?.?> writes
> >> Peter Twydell > wrote:
> >>> In article >,
> >>> George > writes
> >>>> Peter Twydell > wrote in message
> >>>> news:<pFgBVJAkIDTAFwW+ @ntlworld.com>...
>
> >>>>> There was some research into the theory of falling toast, and
> >>>>> it was discovered that the toast did not always land with the
> >>>>> buttered side down. Further investigation showed that this was
> >>>>> because the wrong side had been buttered.
> >>>>> I don't have the URL for this, unfortunately, so does anyone
> >>>>> know what methods are used to ensure that the correct side is
> >>>>> buttered?
> >>>>
> >>>> That is an easy one. The side on the plate that is downward is
> >>>> NOT the to be buttered side.
> >>>> To create a machine of great simplicity just butter BOTH sides
> >>>> and drop the slice of toast toward the floor.
> >>>
> >>> This would IMHO lead to either:
> >>> the toast hovering above the floor, edge down, oscillating
> >>> laterally or the toast landing on its edge.
> >>
> >> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
> >> *which* edge to butter...
> >
> > Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side
> > of the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark
> > practices that you get up to in the Colonies.
>
> Well, of COURSE. If you don't, it's hard to get the little
> bread-holder to retract into the laser-toaster in the computer.


butter all six sides and you're away

[Fred J. McCall]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote:

:"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
.. .
:>
:> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
:> *which* edge to butter...
:
:And what butter to use ....

The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
regard....

[Phil Miller]

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 02:37:46 GMT, Fred J. McCall >
wrote:

>"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote:
>
>:"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
.. .
>:>
>:> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>:> *which* edge to butter...
>:
>:And what butter to use ....
>
>The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>regard....
>

Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?

http://www.vegemite.com.au/


Phil
--
24 beers in a carton. 24 hours in a day. Hmmmm.......

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Sarah Hotdesking
> writes
>"Peter Twydell" > wrote
>> Butter the EDGE? That's perverted. Socially unacceptable this side of
>> the Pond. Please don't bother us sensitive souls with the dark practices
>> that you get up to in the Colonies.
>
>Edge-buttering is sometimes necessary for practitioners of the
>daft<DEL><DEL>rk Welsh practice of baragami
>(http://members.aol.com/llewtrah/baragami.htm )
>
>--
>Sarah H
>http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
>Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century
>
>
Offa's Dyke was built to keep that sort of thing out of England.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Fred J. McCall
> writes
>"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote:
>
>:"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
.. .
>:>
>:> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>:> *which* edge to butter...
>:
>:And what butter to use ....
>
>The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>regard....
>
>
Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider using
such filth.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Vince Brannigan]

Phil Miller wrote:


>>
>>The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>>regard....
>>
>
>
> Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
> viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>
> http://www.vegemite.com.au/

Be careful I once made the same comparison and got a stern letter
demanding a retraction from the axle grease's lawyer

Vince

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Peter Twydell > radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> In article >, Fred J.
> McCall > writes
>> "Sarah Hotdesking" >
>> wrote:
>> :"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>>>> *which* edge to butter...
>>>
>>> And what butter to use ....
>>
>> The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>> regard....
>>
> Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider
> using such filth.

The name is vaguely familiar - what is it?
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[machf]

On Mon, 15 Mar 2004 14:16:42 -0800, Steve Hix >
wrote:

>In article >,
> machf > wrote:
>>
>> But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no feathers or
>> hairs on their wings?
>> ;-)
>
>They have wing hairs, but they're *really* tiny:
>
><http://science.exeter.edu/jekstrom/Color/Menu/Bee/Wing/Wing1C.jpg>
>
><http://bugscope.beckman.uiuc.edu/members/2001-020/data/presets/preset-3-
>640x480.jpg>

I was hinting at what they usually say about aerodynamics being unable to
explain how bees can fly (or was it bumblebees?)...

--
__________ ____---____ Marco Antonio Checa Funcke
\_________D /-/---_----' Santiago de Surco, Lima, Peru
_H__/_/ http://machf.tripod.com
'-_____|(

remove the "no_me_j." and "sons.of." parts before replying

[Jan-Olov Newborg]

Mike Lechnar > wrote in message >...
> How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
> been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
> and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
> public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
> Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
> speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
> end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".
>
> Mike Lechnar
>

Mike!

When will Boeing 747 get the "supercritical wing", with almost upper
surface?

B777 has it already!

Somebody wrote that the drag of the B747 could be reduced with some
15-18%, shifting to the new 3 generation "supercritical wing"


Jan-Olov Newborg

[running with scissors]

Phil Miller > wrote in message >...
> On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 02:37:46 GMT, Fred J. McCall >
> wrote:
>
> >"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote:
> >
> >:"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> .. .
> >:>
> >:> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
> >:> *which* edge to butter...
> >:
> >:And what butter to use ....
> >
> >The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
> >regard....
> >
>
> Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
> viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>
> http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>
>
> Phil

you'll be slating Marmite next!

[George]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message >...
> In ,
> Peter Twydell > radiated into the
> WorldWideWait:
> > In article >, Fred J.
> > McCall > writes
> >> "Sarah Hotdesking" >
> >> wrote:
> >> :"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> >>> ...
> >>>>
> >>>> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
> >>>> *which* edge to butter...
> >>>
> >>> And what butter to use ....
> >>
> >> The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
> >> regard....
> >>
> > Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider
> > using such filth.
>
> The name is vaguely familiar - what is it?

A yeast extract. In the less developed parts of the world it can be a
poison but here such as Marmite and Vegemite are two highly developed
spreads

[Prof. Vincent Brannigan]

running with scissors wrote:

> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
> >
> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
> >
> >
> > Phil
>
> you'll be slating Marmite next!

"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite meanings in the USA and UK

EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings


USA slate

Date: 15th century
1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate a roof>
2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action : SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>

Uk slate

Date: 1825
1 : to thrash or pummel severely
2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely


personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate

Vince

[Prof. Vincent Brannigan]

AbsolutelyCertain wrote:

> "Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> >
> > running with scissors wrote:
> >
> > > > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
> > > > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
> > > >
> > > > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Phil
> > >
> > > you'll be slating Marmite next!
> >
> > "slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite
> meanings in the USA and UK
> >
> > EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different
> meanings
> >
> >
> > USA slate
> >
> > Date: 15th century
> > 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance
> <slate a roof>
> > 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action :
> SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>
> From 1530, which is the 16th century, and not originating in or confined to
> the US. We'd have to call this the commonly accepted meaning of the verb.
> The root is "slate" as in "a tablet used for writing" when speaking of
> "slate" to mean "designate, schedule."
>
> >
> > Uk slate
> >
> > Date: 1825
> > 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
> > 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>
> The root here is probably "slat", which is a old verb meaning "strike,
> pummel".
>
> Two different words that sound similar; homonyms. No actual significance to
> the fact that they are pronounced similarly, "professor."

I'll have to start charging tuition

"sounding the same" is a homophone, whixh is probably a subset of homonyms


But there is in fact quite a debate, as this source clearly shows.

http://rogersreference.com/rrhomonyms.htm

Defining 'homonym' and 'homophone' may be as difficult as finding a Yeti!

"So . . . what is a homonym anyway?"
Have you ever noticed that it's sometimes really difficult to pin
down the definition of a word?
That's pretty common when you look at different dictionaries.
I was surprised, however, to find that the term 'homonym' also has
different definitions, depending upon which
dictionary you consult.
For example, when I look up 'homonym' in my Oxford, I find the
following definition:

Homonym: "Word of same form as another but different sense (e.g.
POLE(1), POLE(2))".

Although that says nothing about words that sound the same, well,
that seemed OK, I thought. But, what does
Webster say? Well . . . when I looked, I found something different
again:

Homonym: "a word having the same sound, or the same spelling and
sound, as another which has a
different meaning, e.g. 'bare' and 'bear'".

Well, now . . . that's not quite the same as Oxford, is it? The
Americans seem to stress the sound of the word,
whereas the English emphasize the spelling.

This was becoming more puzzling the further I got into it!

Hence, when I consulted my trusty Chambers (a good friend of 40 years
or more), I wasn't at all surprised (by
now) to find something different again:

Homonym: "a word having the same sound as another but a
different meaning and origin."

So, in this case, Chambers appears to ignore spelling altogether and
concentrate upon sound only. But perhaps,
by inference, Chambers doesn't care whether the words are spelt the
same or differently?

So, finally . . . when I looked up the MacQuarie Dictionary, I was
prepared for the worst - and I got it!:

Homonym: "a word like another in sound and sometimes in
spelling, but different in meaning, as meat and
meet.

Looks like the Australians are also trying to have it both ways, but
they're not quite sure, are they? Is Oxford
therefore all wrong? Is Webster sitting on the fence, trying to
have it both ways also?

Who is right? Or, are they all wrong?

As somebody once said, "Is a puzzlement!"

In summary, here is what the four are saying:

Oxford: Homonyms are words spelt the same way, but different
meaning;
Webster: Homonyms are words which sound the same and / or spelt
the same, but different meaning;
Chambers: Homonyms are words that sound the same, but different
meaning; and
MacQuarie: Homonyms are words that sound the same and are -
maybe - spelt the same, but with different
meaning!

Defining 'homonym' and 'homophone'
may be as difficult as finding a Yeti!

"So . . . what is a homonym anyway?"

Have you ever noticed that it's sometimes really difficult to pin
down the definition of a word?

That's pretty common when you look at different dictionaries.

I was surprised, however, to find that the term 'homonym' also has
different definitions, depending upon which
dictionary you consult.

For example, when I look up 'homonym' in my Oxford, I find the
following definition:

Homonym: "Word of same form as another but different sense (e.g.
POLE(1), POLE(2))".

Although that says nothing about words that sound the same, well,
that seemed OK, I thought. But, what does
Webster say? Well . . . when I looked, I found something different
again:

Homonym: "a word having the same sound, or the same spelling and
sound, as another which has a
different meaning, e.g. 'bare' and 'bear'".

Well, now . . . that's not quite the same as Oxford, is it? The
Americans seem to stress the sound of the word,
whereas the English emphasize the spelling.

This was becoming more puzzling the further I got into it!

Hence, when I consulted my trusty Chambers (a good friend of 40 years
or more), I wasn't at all surprised (by
now) to find something different again:

Homonym: "a word having the same sound as another but a
different meaning and origin."

So, in this case, Chambers appears to ignore spelling altogether and
concentrate upon sound only. But perhaps,
by inference, Chambers doesn't care whether the words are spelt the
same or differently?

So, finally . . . when I looked up the MacQuarie Dictionary, I was
prepared for the worst - and I got it!:

Homonym: "a word like another in sound and sometimes in
spelling, but different in meaning, as meat and
meet.

Looks like the Australians are also trying to have it both ways, but
they're not quite sure, are they? Is Oxford
therefore all wrong? Is Webster sitting on the fence, trying to
have it both ways also?

Who is right? Or, are they all wrong?

As somebody once said, "Is a puzzlement!"

In summary, here is what the four are saying:

Oxford: Homonyms are words spelt the same way, but different
meaning;
Webster: Homonyms are words which sound the same and / or spelt
the same, but different meaning;
Chambers: Homonyms are words that sound the same, but different
meaning; and
MacQuarie: Homonyms are words that sound the same and are -
maybe - spelt the same, but with different
meaning!

The only point of absolute agreement concerns "different meanings".

To make matters worse, there is the question of homophones.

Once again, there are some differences:

Oxford: Homophone - "a word having the same sound as another,
but of different meaning or origin."
Websters: Homophone - "a homonym, a letter having the same sound
as another."
Chambers: Homophone - "a word pronounced alike with another but
different in meaning."
MacQuarie: Homophone - "a word pronounced the same as another,
regardless of spelling as heir and air
."

Is there any point of absolute agreement with those four
definitions? It seems to me that the deeper I go, the
worse it gets!


End of exerpt.

So there are at least 4 variables Sound, spelling, meaning and derivation.

I.e. what does it mean to "sanction" someone

SF Mayor Uniquely Able to Sanction Gay Weddings
is it to approve? or punish?


Vince

[[email protected]]

"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote:

>
>
>running with scissors wrote:
>
>> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>> >
>> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>> >
>> >
>> > Phil
>>
>> you'll be slating Marmite next!
>
>"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite meanings in the USA and UK
>
>EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings
>
>
>USA slate
>
> Date: 15th century
> 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate a roof>
> 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action : SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>
>Uk slate
>
> Date: 1825
> 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
> 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>
>
>personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate
>
>Vince


Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
were rooting for their team".

Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)
--

-Gord.

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Duke of URL
<macbenahATkdsiDOTnet@?.?> writes
>In ,
>Peter Twydell > radiated into the
>WorldWideWait:
>> In article >, Fred J.
>> McCall > writes
>>> "Sarah Hotdesking" >
>>> wrote:
>>> :"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>>
>>>>> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>>>>> *which* edge to butter...
>>>>
>>>> And what butter to use ....
>>>
>>> The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>>> regard....
>>>
>> Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider
>> using such filth.
>
>The name is vaguely familiar - what is it?
>--
>From the one-and-only Holy Moses®
>
>
It's a yeast extract. The UK variant is Marmite, and is a delicious
accompaniment to buttered toast (see how we stay very nearly on topic?)
and is marvellous spread thinly on good strong Cheddar cheese (I kid you
not). Vegemite, OTOH, is a vile Antipodean ******* offspring that
resembles the stuff you have to scrape off your shoe.


Actually, Marmite is one of those things that divide the world in two.
You either love it or hate it.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Jack Linthicum]

Vince Brannigan > wrote in message >...
> Phil Miller wrote:
>
>
> >>
> >>The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
> >>regard....
> >>
> >
> >
> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
> >
> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>
> Be careful I once made the same comparison and got a stern letter
> demanding a retraction from the axle grease's lawyer
>


The difference is the smell, axle grease smells like something died
about 63 billion years ago, vegemite smells like something died about
an hour ago.

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Peter Twydell > radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> In article >, Duke of URL
> <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet@?.?> writes
>> In ,
>> Peter Twydell > radiated into the
>> WorldWideWait:
>>> In article >, Fred J.
>>> McCall > writes
>>>> "Sarah Hotdesking" >
>>>> wrote:
>>>> :"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with
>>>>>> certainty *which* edge to butter...
>>>>>
>>>>> And what butter to use ....
>>>>
>>>> The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>>>> regard....
>>>>
>>> Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider
>>> using such filth.
>>
>> The name is vaguely familiar - what is it?
>>
> It's a yeast extract. The UK variant is Marmite, and is a delicious
> accompaniment to buttered toast (see how we stay very nearly on
> topic?) and is marvellous spread thinly on good strong Cheddar
> cheese (I kid you not). Vegemite, OTOH, is a vile Antipodean
> ******* offspring that resembles the stuff you have to scrape off
> your shoe.
> Actually, Marmite is one of those things that divide the world in
> two. You either love it or hate it.

Yes, well, since I scrape mold *off* when it appears on my cheese, I
think I'll pass on this Marmot-yeast stuff. Thanks for the info.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Vince Brannigan]

AbsolutelyCertain wrote:

>>
>>So there are at least 4 variables Sound, spelling, meaning and derivation.
>>
>>I.e. what does it mean to "sanction" someone
>>
>>SF Mayor Uniquely Able to Sanction Gay Weddings
>>is it to approve? or punish?
>
>
> Quite a bit of information there.
>
> Context wise, I'd say he approves of them. As I do.
>
>
And you would be correct in the traditional use of the word

Ill quit, even I get hazy from the hazing

Vince

[Vince Brannigan]

Jack Linthicum wrote:

> Vince Brannigan > wrote in message >...
>
>>Phil Miller wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>>>The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>>>>regard....
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>>>viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>>>
>>>http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>>
>>Be careful I once made the same comparison and got a stern letter
>>demanding a retraction from the axle grease's lawyer
>>
>
>
>
> The difference is the smell, axle grease smells like something died
> about 63 billion years ago, vegemite smells like something died about
> an hour ago.

yes, but from something very nasty

Vince

[Steve Hix]

In article >,
Peter Twydell > wrote:

> In article >, Fred J. McCall
> > writes
> >"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote:
> >
> >:"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> .. .
> >:>
> >:> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
> >:> *which* edge to butter...
> >:
> >:And what butter to use ....
> >
> >The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
> >regard....
> >
> Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider using
> such filth.

Because Marmite is better?

[Steve Hix]

In article >,
machf > wrote:

> On Mon, 15 Mar 2004 14:16:42 -0800, Steve Hix
> >
> wrote:
>
> >In article >,
> > machf > wrote:
> >>
> >> But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no
> >> feathers or
> >> hairs on their wings?
> >> ;-)
> >
> >They have wing hairs, but they're *really* tiny:
> >
> ><http://science.exeter.edu/jekstrom/Color/Menu/Bee/Wing/Wing1C.jpg>
> >
> ><http://bugscope.beckman.uiuc.edu/members/2001-020/data/presets/preset-3-
> >640x480.jpg>
>
> I was hinting at what they usually say about aerodynamics being unable to
> explain how bees can fly (or was it bumblebees?)...

They can only support *really* tiny lift demons?

[Phil Miller]

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 23:10:24 GMT, "Gord Beaman" )
wrote:

>"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote:
>
>>
>>
>>running with scissors wrote:
>>
>>> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>>> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>>> >
>>> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>>> >
>>> >
>>> > Phil
>>>
>>> you'll be slating Marmite next!
>>
>>"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite meanings in the USA and UK
>>
>>EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings
>>
>>
>>USA slate
>>
>> Date: 15th century
>> 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate a roof>
>> 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action : SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>>
>>Uk slate
>>
>> Date: 1825
>> 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
>> 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>>
>>
>>personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate
>>
>>Vince
>
>
>Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
>America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
>were rooting for their team".
>
>Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)

Must admit to the odd titter at that, myself.

"We'll all be rooting for ya."
I'd rather do it myself if it's ok with you. :-)


Phil
--
Profanisaurus #7

Mystery Bus [n]
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back
in.

[Phil Miller]

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 08:35:19 -0600, "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet>
wrote:

>In ,
>Peter Twydell > radiated into the
>WorldWideWait:
>> In article >, Fred J.
>> McCall > writes
>>> "Sarah Hotdesking" >
>>> wrote:
>>> :"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>>
>>>>> Even this would be acceptable if one could decide with certainty
>>>>> *which* edge to butter...
>>>>
>>>> And what butter to use ....
>>>
>>> The real question is whether vegemite acts like butter in this
>>> regard....
>>>
>> Nobody with any respect for their taste buds would even consider
>> using such filth.
>
>The name is vaguely familiar - what is it?

http://www.vegemite.com.au/

An acquired taste.


Phil
--
Profanisaurus #4

Beeriod [n]
Weekly malady suffered by men after a night on the pop. Symptoms
include headache, moodiness and a bloated stomach. "Leave me alone,
woman, my beeriod started this morning."

[Moggycat]

"Gord Beaman" ) wrote
>
> Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
> America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
> were rooting for their team".
>
> Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)

And as for the different meanings of "table" as in "tabling a
motion"...

Means to shelve or postpone discussion in the US, but means to get on
with the discussion in the UK. Hence there's an urban legend about a
US-UK meeting bogged down in arguing over whether a vitally important
item should be tabled - the UK contingent couldn't understand why the
US contingent didn't want it tabled (discussed) and t'other side
couldn't work out why the UK contingent wanted it tabled (shelved)....

[Moggycat]

machf > wrote in message >...
> On Mon, 15 Mar 2004 14:16:42 -0800, Steve Hix >
> wrote:
>
> >In article >,
> > machf > wrote:
> >>
> >> But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no feathers or
> >> hairs on their wings?
> >> ;-)
> >
> >They have wing hairs, but they're *really* tiny:
> >
> ><http://science.exeter.edu/jekstrom/Color/Menu/Bee/Wing/Wing1C.jpg>
> >
> ><http://bugscope.beckman.uiuc.edu/members/2001-020/data/presets/preset-3-
> >640x480.jpg>
>
> I was hinting at what they usually say about aerodynamics being unable to
> explain how bees can fly (or was it bumblebees?)...

AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
simply flapping up and down.

[Pooh Bear]

"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" wrote:

> SF Mayor Uniquely Able to Sanction Gay Weddings
> is it to approve? or punish?

Depending on the flavour of the gayness - maybe a little corporal punishment would
be seen as approval ?

P.B.

[Prof. Vincent Brannigan]

Pooh Bear wrote:

> "Prof. Vincent Brannigan" wrote:
>
> > SF Mayor Uniquely Able to Sanction Gay Weddings
> > is it to approve? or punish?
>
> Depending on the flavour of the gayness - maybe a little corporal punishment would
> be seen as approval ?
>
> P.B.

does corporal punishment outrank private punishment?

Do they use a three line whip?

Vince

[Jack Linthicum]

"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote in message >...
> Pooh Bear wrote:
>
> > "Prof. Vincent Brannigan" wrote:
> >
> > > SF Mayor Uniquely Able to Sanction Gay Weddings
> > > is it to approve? or punish?
> >
> > Depending on the flavour of the gayness - maybe a little corporal punishment would
> > be seen as approval ?
> >
> > P.B.
>
> does corporal punishment outrank private punishment?
>
> Do they use a three line whip?
>

More importantly, do they volunteer?

[[email protected]]

(Moggycat) wrote:

>machf > wrote in message >...
>> On Mon, 15 Mar 2004 14:16:42 -0800, Steve Hix >
>> wrote:
>>
>> >In article >,
>> > machf > wrote:
>> >>
>> >> But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no feathers or
>> >> hairs on their wings?
>> >> ;-)
>> >
>> >They have wing hairs, but they're *really* tiny:
>> >
>> ><http://science.exeter.edu/jekstrom/Color/Menu/Bee/Wing/Wing1C.jpg>
>> >
>> ><http://bugscope.beckman.uiuc.edu/members/2001-020/data/presets/preset-3-
>> >640x480.jpg>
>>
>> I was hinting at what they usually say about aerodynamics being unable to
>> explain how bees can fly (or was it bumblebees?)...
>
>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
>simply flapping up and down.

Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
upsweep doesn't it?...
--

-Gord.

[Fred J. McCall]

"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:

(Moggycat) wrote:
:>
:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
:>simply flapping up and down.
:
:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
:upsweep doesn't it?...

So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?

[Duke of URL]

In m,
Jack Linthicum > radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> "Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote in message
> >...
>> Pooh Bear wrote:
>>> "Prof. Vincent Brannigan" wrote:
>>>
>>>> SF Mayor Uniquely Able to Sanction Gay Weddings
>>>> is it to approve? or punish?
>>>
>>> Depending on the flavour of the gayness - maybe a little corporal
>>> punishment would be seen as approval ?
>>
>> does corporal punishment outrank private punishment?
>> Do they use a three line whip?
>
> More importantly, do they volunteer?

Oh, you're not allowed to ask that and they're not allowed to tell.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[David Phillips]

On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT, Fred J. McCall
> wrote:

>"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>
(Moggycat) wrote:
>:>
>:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
>:>simply flapping up and down.
>:
>:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
>:upsweep doesn't it?...
>
>So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
>They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?

I'm not certain, but I think the conventional wisdom was that
bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, based on the understanding of
flight when humans were first beginning to get off the ground. Later
on, as things such as the viscosity of the air, and Reynolds number,
and other such stuff, the theory caught up with the fact that there
are very tiny lift demons that are used by insects.

[Alan Minyard]

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 23:10:24 GMT, "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:

>"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote:
>
>>
>>
>>running with scissors wrote:
>>
>>> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>>> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>>> >
>>> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>>> >
>>> >
>>> > Phil
>>>
>>> you'll be slating Marmite next!
>>
>>"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite meanings in the USA and UK
>>
>>EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings
>>
>>
>>USA slate
>>
>> Date: 15th century
>> 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate a roof>
>> 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action : SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>>
>>Uk slate
>>
>> Date: 1825
>> 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
>> 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>>
>>
>>personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate
>>
>>Vince
>
>
>Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
>America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
>were rooting for their team".
>
>Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)

Or even worse, the US vs UK slang usage of "pecker" (as in the UK -
Keep a stiff pecker"

Al Minyard

[Taki Kogoma]

On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT,
allegedly declared to sci.military.naval...
>"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
(Moggycat) wrote:
>:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
>:>simply flapping up and down.
>:
>:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
>:upsweep doesn't it?...
>
>So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
>They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?

No.

More like they do not as much fly as beat the air into submission.

--
Capt. Gym Z. Quirk -- quirk @ swcp.com | /"\ ASCII RIBBON
(Known to some as Taki Kogoma) | \ / CAMPAIGN
Retired 'Secret Master of | X AGAINST HTML MAIL
rec.arts.startrek' | / \ AND POSTINGS

[Jack Linthicum]

David Phillips > wrote in message >...
> On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT, Fred J. McCall
> > wrote:
>
> >"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
> >
> (Moggycat) wrote:
> >:>
> >:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
> >:>simply flapping up and down.
> >:
> >:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
> >:upsweep doesn't it?...
> >
> >So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
> >They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
>
> I'm not certain, but I think the conventional wisdom was that
> bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, based on the understanding of
> flight when humans were first beginning to get off the ground. Later
> on, as things such as the viscosity of the air, and Reynolds number,
> and other such stuff, the theory caught up with the fact that there
> are very tiny lift demons that are used by insects.

http://www.maa.org/mathland/mathland_3_31.html

This is one story of the origin of the statement. The biologist was
too polite to suggest to the Swiss aerdynamicist that he had used too
many assumptions in his cocktail napkin model. Smooth wings, weight,
wing area, etc meant the wing area was insufficient to allow the
bumblebee to fly. No mention of lift pixies or any of the other
well-known (to biologists) extraneous factors, such as mass hypnotism.

"So, no one "proved" that a bumblebee can't fly. What was shown was
that a certain simple mathematical model wasn't adequate or
appropriate for describing the flight of a bumblebee. Insect flight
and wing movements can be quite complicated. Wings aren't rigid. They
bend and twist. Stroke angles change." pixies take breaks, etc.

"whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh (cough) whooh, whooh, whooh,
whooh, whooh" Printing on the cork of Smoking Loon Merlot, 1999.

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Alan Minyard
> writes
>On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 23:10:24 GMT, "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>
>>"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>>running with scissors wrote:
>>>
>>>> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>>>> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>>>> >
>>>> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> > Phil
>>>>
>>>> you'll be slating Marmite next!
>>>
>>>"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite meanings
>in the USA and UK
>>>
>>>EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings
>>>
>>>
>>>USA slate
>>>
>>> Date: 15th century
>>> 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate a
>roof>
>>> 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action :
>SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>>>
>>>Uk slate
>>>
>>> Date: 1825
>>> 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
>>> 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>>>
>>>
>>>personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate
>>>
>>>Vince
>>
>>
>>Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
>>America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
>>were rooting for their team".
>>
>>Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)
>
>Or even worse, the US vs UK slang usage of "pecker" (as in the UK -
>Keep a stiff pecker"
>

Never heard that - it was usually "keep your pecker up". The Shorter
Oxford Dictionary records "pecker" as being mid-19th century usage for
Courage or resolution. The US usage is 20th century.

"Fanny" has different meanings in the US and the UK. They are close,
anatomically speaking, but very different...

>Al Minyard

--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[George]

(Jack Linthicum) wrote in message >...
> David Phillips > wrote in message >...
> > On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT, Fred J. McCall
> > > wrote:
> >
> > >"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
> > >
> > (Moggycat) wrote:
> > >:>
> > >:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
> > >:>simply flapping up and down.
> > >:
> > >:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
> > >:upsweep doesn't it?...
> > >
> > >So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
> > >They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
> >
> > I'm not certain, but I think the conventional wisdom was that
> > bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, based on the understanding of
> > flight when humans were first beginning to get off the ground. Later
> > on, as things such as the viscosity of the air, and Reynolds number,
> > and other such stuff, the theory caught up with the fact that there
> > are very tiny lift demons that are used by insects.
>
> http://www.maa.org/mathland/mathland_3_31.html
>
> This is one story of the origin of the statement. The biologist was
> too polite to suggest to the Swiss aerdynamicist that he had used too
> many assumptions in his cocktail napkin model. Smooth wings, weight,
> wing area, etc meant the wing area was insufficient to allow the
> bumblebee to fly. No mention of lift pixies or any of the other
> well-known (to biologists) extraneous factors, such as mass hypnotism.
>
> "So, no one "proved" that a bumblebee can't fly. What was shown was
> that a certain simple mathematical model wasn't adequate or
> appropriate for describing the flight of a bumblebee. Insect flight
> and wing movements can be quite complicated. Wings aren't rigid. They
> bend and twist. Stroke angles change." pixies take breaks, etc.
>
> "whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh (cough) whooh, whooh, whooh,
> whooh, whooh" Printing on the cork of Smoking Loon Merlot, 1999.

Actually bumblebees still can't fly.
There are, however, little walkways to their favourite flowers.
The wings are just for balance...
:-)

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Taki Kogoma > radiated into the WorldWideWait:
> On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT,
> allegedly declared to sci.military.naval...
>> "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>>> (Moggycat) wrote:

>>>> AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
>>>> simply flapping up and down.
>>>
>>> Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
>>> upsweep doesn't it?...
>>
>> So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really
>> fly? They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
>
> No.
>
> More like they do not as much fly as beat the air into submission.

Hotdesking is a BEE???
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[[email protected]]

Peter Twydell > wrote:

>In article >, Alan Minyard
> writes
>>On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 23:10:24 GMT, "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>>
>>>"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>running with scissors wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>>>>> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>>>>> >
>>>>> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Phil
>>>>>
>>>>> you'll be slating Marmite next!
>>>>
>>>>"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite meanings
>>in the USA and UK
>>>>
>>>>EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>USA slate
>>>>
>>>> Date: 15th century
>>>> 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate a
>>roof>
>>>> 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action :
>>SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>>>>
>>>>Uk slate
>>>>
>>>> Date: 1825
>>>> 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
>>>> 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate
>>>>
>>>>Vince
>>>
>>>
>>>Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
>>>America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
>>>were rooting for their team".
>>>
>>>Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)
>>
>>Or even worse, the US vs UK slang usage of "pecker" (as in the UK -
>>Keep a stiff pecker"
>>
>
>Never heard that - it was usually "keep your pecker up". The Shorter
>Oxford Dictionary records "pecker" as being mid-19th century usage for
>Courage or resolution. The US usage is 20th century.
>
>"Fanny" has different meanings in the US and the UK. They are close,
>anatomically speaking, but very different...
>
>>Al Minyard

Isn't pecker in UK lips/kisser?
--

-Gord.

[[email protected]]

(George) wrote:

(Jack Linthicum) wrote in message >...
>> David Phillips > wrote in message >...
>> > On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT, Fred J. McCall
>> > > wrote:
>> >
>> > >"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>> > >
>> > (Moggycat) wrote:
>> > >:>
>> > >:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
>> > >:>simply flapping up and down.
>> > >:
>> > >:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
>> > >:upsweep doesn't it?...
>> > >
>> > >So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
>> > >They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
>> >
>> > I'm not certain, but I think the conventional wisdom was that
>> > bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, based on the understanding of
>> > flight when humans were first beginning to get off the ground. Later
>> > on, as things such as the viscosity of the air, and Reynolds number,
>> > and other such stuff, the theory caught up with the fact that there
>> > are very tiny lift demons that are used by insects.
>>
>> http://www.maa.org/mathland/mathland_3_31.html
>>
>> This is one story of the origin of the statement. The biologist was
>> too polite to suggest to the Swiss aerdynamicist that he had used too
>> many assumptions in his cocktail napkin model. Smooth wings, weight,
>> wing area, etc meant the wing area was insufficient to allow the
>> bumblebee to fly. No mention of lift pixies or any of the other
>> well-known (to biologists) extraneous factors, such as mass hypnotism.
>>
>> "So, no one "proved" that a bumblebee can't fly. What was shown was
>> that a certain simple mathematical model wasn't adequate or
>> appropriate for describing the flight of a bumblebee. Insect flight
>> and wing movements can be quite complicated. Wings aren't rigid. They
>> bend and twist. Stroke angles change." pixies take breaks, etc.
>>
>> "whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh, whooh (cough) whooh, whooh, whooh,
>> whooh, whooh" Printing on the cork of Smoking Loon Merlot, 1999.
>
>Actually bumblebees still can't fly.
>There are, however, little walkways to their favourite flowers.
>The wings are just for balance...
>:-)

....and to make that whooh whooh sound to mislead those dumb two
legged beings who scream and run when we approach.
--

-Gord.

[Fred J. McCall]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote:

:In ,
:Taki Kogoma > radiated into the WorldWideWait:
:> On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT,
:> allegedly declared to sci.military.naval...
:>> "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
:>>> (Moggycat) wrote:
:
:>>>> AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
:>>>> simply flapping up and down.
:>>>
:>>> Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
:>>> upsweep doesn't it?...
:>>
:>> So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really
:>> fly? They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
:>
:> No.
:>
:> More like they do not as much fly as beat the air into submission.
:
:Hotdesking is a BEE???

Looks like at least a 'C' to me, judging from the photos. ;-)

[Pooh Bear]

Jack Linthicum wrote:

> David Phillips > wrote in message >...
> > On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT, Fred J. McCall
> > > wrote:
> >
> > >"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
> > >
> > (Moggycat) wrote:
> > >:>
> > >:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
> > >:>simply flapping up and down.
> > >:
> > >:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
> > >:upsweep doesn't it?...
> > >
> > >So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
> > >They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
> >
> > I'm not certain, but I think the conventional wisdom was that
> > bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, based on the understanding of
> > flight when humans were first beginning to get off the ground. Later
> > on, as things such as the viscosity of the air, and Reynolds number,
> > and other such stuff, the theory caught up with the fact that there
> > are very tiny lift demons that are used by insects.
>
> http://www.maa.org/mathland/mathland_3_31.html
>
> This is one story of the origin of the statement. The biologist was
> too polite to suggest to the Swiss aerdynamicist that he had used too
> many assumptions in his cocktail napkin model. Smooth wings, weight,
> wing area, etc meant the wing area was insufficient to allow the
> bumblebee to fly. No mention of lift pixies or any of the other
> well-known (to biologists) extraneous factors, such as mass hypnotism.

Mmmmmm
Twisting wings !
The Wright Brothers would be proud !

Graham

[Duke of URL]

In ,
Fred J. McCall > radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote:
>> In ,
>> Taki Kogoma > radiated into the WorldWideWait:
>>> On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT,
>>> allegedly declared to sci.military.naval...
>>>> "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>>>>> (Moggycat) wrote:
>>
>>>>>> AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather
>>>>>> than simply flapping up and down.
>>>>>
>>>>> Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
>>>>> upsweep doesn't it?...
>>>>
>>>> So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really
>>>> fly? They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
>>>
>>> No.
>>>
>>> More like they do not as much fly as beat the air into submission.
>>
>> Hotdesking is a BEE???
>
> Looks like at least a 'C' to me, judging from the photos. ;-)

Ooo... Just wait - she'll be around to beat you into submission soon.
--
From the one-and-only Holy Moses®

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
...
> In ,
> Taki Kogoma > radiated into the WorldWideWait:
> > On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT,
> > allegedly declared to sci.military.naval...
> >> "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
> >>> (Moggycat) wrote:
>
> >>>> AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
> >>>> simply flapping up and down.
> >>>
> >>> Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
> >>> upsweep doesn't it?...
> >>
> >> So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really
> >> fly? They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
> >
> > No.
> >
> > More like they do not as much fly as beat the air into submission.
>
> Hotdesking is a BEE???

The sting of the lash gives me a buzz .....

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Jack Linthicum]

Pooh Bear > wrote in message >...
> Jack Linthicum wrote:
>
> > David Phillips > wrote in message >...
> > > On Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:04:30 GMT, Fred J. McCall
> > > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >"Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
> > > >
> > > (Moggycat) wrote:
> > > >:>
> > > >:>AIUI, bumblebee wings are more like helicopter rotors rather than
> > > >:>simply flapping up and down.
> > > >:
> > > >:Has something to do with them crashing together overhead on the
> > > >:upsweep doesn't it?...
> > > >
> > > >So is the claim that bumblebees, like helicopters, do not really fly?
> > > >They just vibrate so badly the Earth rejects them?
> > >
> > > I'm not certain, but I think the conventional wisdom was that
> > > bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, based on the understanding of
> > > flight when humans were first beginning to get off the ground. Later
> > > on, as things such as the viscosity of the air, and Reynolds number,
> > > and other such stuff, the theory caught up with the fact that there
> > > are very tiny lift demons that are used by insects.
> >
> > http://www.maa.org/mathland/mathland_3_31.html
> >
> > This is one story of the origin of the statement. The biologist was
> > too polite to suggest to the Swiss aerdynamicist that he had used too
> > many assumptions in his cocktail napkin model. Smooth wings, weight,
> > wing area, etc meant the wing area was insufficient to allow the
> > bumblebee to fly. No mention of lift pixies or any of the other
> > well-known (to biologists) extraneous factors, such as mass hypnotism.
>
> Mmmmmm
> Twisting wings !
> The Wright Brothers would be proud !
>

Actually the Wright Brothers would sue for patent infringement.

[Nick Coleman]

Peter Twydell wrote:

> It's a yeast extract. The UK variant is Marmite, and is a delicious
> accompaniment to buttered toast (see how we stay very nearly on
> topic?) and is marvellous spread thinly on good strong Cheddar cheese
> (I kid you not). Vegemite, OTOH, is a vile Antipodean *******
> offspring that resembles the stuff you have to scrape off your shoe.

Oi, Jimmy! Marmite is an antipodean (to me) strange concoction of
evil-tasting slightly sweet muck. Vegemite is the true nectar of the
gods. Try it with tiger stripes: alternate strips of thick butter and
vegemite on the toast.

As well as with cheese, lightly spread it on toast (on-topic again) with
a poached egg on top. Yummy.

--
Nick

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Nick Coleman <spambucketPokeMyEy
> writes
>Peter Twydell wrote:
>
>> It's a yeast extract. The UK variant is Marmite, and is a delicious
>> accompaniment to buttered toast (see how we stay very nearly on
>> topic?) and is marvellous spread thinly on good strong Cheddar cheese
>> (I kid you not). Vegemite, OTOH, is a vile Antipodean *******
>> offspring that resembles the stuff you have to scrape off your shoe.
>
>Oi, Jimmy! Marmite is an antipodean (to me) strange concoction of
>evil-tasting slightly sweet muck. Vegemite is the true nectar of the
>gods. Try it with tiger stripes: alternate strips of thick butter and
>vegemite on the toast.
>
>As well as with cheese, lightly spread it on toast (on-topic again) with
>a poached egg on top. Yummy.
>


Absolute cobblers!

Marmite must be the best 'cos Our Boys won the World Cup and yours
didn't. So there. :-)))))

(I think I'll have a couple of soft-boiled eggs with Marmite soldiers
for breakfast)
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Nick Coleman" > wrote
>
> Oi, Jimmy! Marmite is an antipodean (to me) strange concoction of
> evil-tasting slightly sweet muck. Vegemite is the true nectar of the
> gods. Try it with tiger stripes: alternate strips of thick butter and
> vegemite on the toast.
>
> As well as with cheese, lightly spread it on toast (on-topic again) with
> a poached egg on top. Yummy.

A very soft boiled egg with a dab of 'mite-style supermarket own brand yeast
extract in the yolk - nectar! Alternatively the toasted dipping sticks of
toast require a generous layer of 'mite (caution: do not eat this straight
before a blood pressure check-up unless you want a lecture from the medic)

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[Nick Coleman]

Sarah Hotdesking wrote:

> A very soft boiled egg with a dab of 'mite-style supermarket own brand
> yeast
> extract in the yolk - nectar! Alternatively the toasted dipping
> sticks of
> toast require a generous layer of 'mite (caution: do not eat this
> straight before a blood pressure check-up unless you want a lecture
> from the medic)

Yummmmm, 'mite soldiers dipped in egg yolk <drool>. My grandmother knew
what she was about, I tell you. (It was her that taught me how to boil
an egg when I was 10...)

--
Nick

[Steve Hix]

In article >,
Peter Twydell > wrote:
>
> (I think I'll have a couple of soft-boiled eggs with Marmite soldiers
> for breakfast)

Is it *that* hard to get people to eat Marmite?

[Moggycat]

Nick Coleman > wrote in message >...
> Sarah Hotdesking wrote:
>
> > A very soft boiled egg with a dab of 'mite-style supermarket own brand
> > yeast
> > extract in the yolk - nectar! Alternatively the toasted dipping
> > sticks of
> > toast require a generous layer of 'mite (caution: do not eat this
> > straight before a blood pressure check-up unless you want a lecture
> > from the medic)
>
> Yummmmm, 'mite soldiers dipped in egg yolk <drool>. My grandmother knew
> what she was about, I tell you. (It was her that taught me how to boil
> an egg when I was 10...)

'mite and honey (must be set honey) sandwiches is another combination
which actually works. I think this combination came about during an
attack of the munchies. 'mite and hard boiled egg sarnies. Sadly none
of this is acceptable to Thrust Pixies. I have it on good authority
that they don't like 'mite-type spreads.

[ANDREW ROBERT BREEN]

In article >,
Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
>"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
>> *which* edge to butter...
>
>And what butter to use ....

Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
you've got access to Rachel's.

--
Andy Breen ~ Interplanetary Scintillation Research Group
http://users.aber.ac.uk/azb/
Feng Shui: an ancient oriental art for extracting
money from the gullible (Martin Sinclair)

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Damian Kneale
> writes
>Once Peter Twydell > inscribed in stone:
>
>>In article >, Nick Coleman <spambucketPokeMyEy
> writes
>>>Peter Twydell wrote:
>>>
>>>> It's a yeast extract. The UK variant is Marmite, and is a delicious
>>>> accompaniment to buttered toast (see how we stay very nearly on
>>>> topic?) and is marvellous spread thinly on good strong Cheddar cheese
>>>> (I kid you not). Vegemite, OTOH, is a vile Antipodean *******
>>>> offspring that resembles the stuff you have to scrape off your shoe.
>>>
>>>Oi, Jimmy! Marmite is an antipodean (to me) strange concoction of
>>>evil-tasting slightly sweet muck. Vegemite is the true nectar of the
>>>gods. Try it with tiger stripes: alternate strips of thick butter and
>>>vegemite on the toast.
>>>
>>>As well as with cheese, lightly spread it on toast (on-topic again) with
>>>a poached egg on top. Yummy.
>>
>>Absolute cobblers!
>>
>>Marmite must be the best 'cos Our Boys won the World Cup and yours
>>didn't. So there. :-)))))
>
>It was about time we gave up one of those world cups we've been
>collecting. Don't worry, it'll be back soon enough!
>
Ah, the famous Australian Tea Party scenario - no cups.

>>(I think I'll have a couple of soft-boiled eggs with Marmite soldiers
>>for breakfast)
>
>Actually come to think of it, I'm betting it was the threat of Marmite
>in the case of failure that finally spurred the English on the their
>final glorious efforts. :-)
>
>Damian.
>
Now you're just being silly.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Peter Twydell]

In article >, Gord Beaman
<?@?.?> writes
>Peter Twydell > wrote:
>
>>In article >, Alan Minyard
> writes
>>>On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 23:10:24 GMT, "Gord Beaman" ) wrote:
>>>
>>>>"Prof. Vincent Brannigan" > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>running with scissors wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> > Vegemite not only looks and tastes like axle grease, it has the
>>>>>> > viscosity of axle grease. Hmmmm...?
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > http://www.vegemite.com.au/
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Phil
>>>>>>
>>>>>> you'll be slating Marmite next!
>>>>>
>>>>>"slating" is one of my favorite words because it has almost opposite
>meanings
>>>in the USA and UK
>>>>>
>>>>>EG if a person is "slated for a performance" it has very different meanings
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>USA slate
>>>>>
>>>>> Date: 15th century
>>>>> 1 : to cover with slate or a slatelike substance <slate
>a
>>>roof>
>>>>> 2 : to designate for a specified purpose or action :
>>>SCHEDULE <was slated to direct the play>
>>>>>
>>>>>Uk slate
>>>>>
>>>>> Date: 1825
>>>>> 1 : to thrash or pummel severely
>>>>> 2 chiefly British : to criticize or censure severely
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>personally I think marmite and be used as plaster to repair slate
>>>>>
>>>>>Vince
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Similar to the very different meanings in the UK and North
>>>>America of the word 'root' as in "All the girls in the stands
>>>>were rooting for their team".
>>>>
>>>>Quite legal and admirable in NA, not quite so in the UK... :)
>>>
>>>Or even worse, the US vs UK slang usage of "pecker" (as in the UK -
>>>Keep a stiff pecker"
>>>
>>
>>Never heard that - it was usually "keep your pecker up". The Shorter
>>Oxford Dictionary records "pecker" as being mid-19th century usage for
>>Courage or resolution. The US usage is 20th century.
>>
>>"Fanny" has different meanings in the US and the UK. They are close,
>>anatomically speaking, but very different...
>>
>>>Al Minyard
>
>Isn't pecker in UK lips/kisser?
>--
>
>-Gord.

Not AFAIK. A kiss can be a peck, though, as in "a peck on the cheek".
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

[Moggycat]

(ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> >> *which* edge to butter...
> >
> >And what butter to use ....
>
> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
> you've got access to Rachel's.

Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?

[Fred J. McCall]

(Moggycat) wrote:

(ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message >...
:> In article >,
:> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
:> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
:> >> *which* edge to butter...
:> >
:> >And what butter to use ....
:>
:> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
:> you've got access to Rachel's.
:
:Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?

Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...

[Hey, YOU started it....]

[Sarah Hotdesking]

"Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
...
> (Moggycat) wrote:
>
> (ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message
>...
> :> In article >,
> :> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
> :> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> :> >> *which* edge to butter...
> :> >
> :> >And what butter to use ....
> :>
> :> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
> :> you've got access to Rachel's.
> :
> :Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?
>
> Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
>
> [Hey, YOU started it....]
>
>
I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

[George]

"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
> ...
> > (Moggycat) wrote:
> >
> > (ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message
> >...
> > :> In article >,
> > :> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
> > :> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> > :> >> *which* edge to butter...
> > :> >
> > :> >And what butter to use ....
> > :>
> > :> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
> > :> you've got access to Rachel's.
> > :
> > :Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?
> >
> > Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
> >
> > [Hey, YOU started it....]
> >
> >
> I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!

ooooh herassment :-)

[Fred J. McCall]

(George) wrote:

:"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
:> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
:> ...
:> > (Moggycat) wrote:
:> >
:> > (ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message
:> >...
:> > :> In article >,
:> > :> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
:> > :> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
:> > :> >> *which* edge to butter...
:> > :> >
:> > :> >And what butter to use ....
:> > :>
:> > :> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
:> > :> you've got access to Rachel's.
:> > :
:> > :Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?
:> >
:> > Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
:> >
:> > [Hey, YOU started it....]
:> >
:> >
:> I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!
:
:ooooh herassment :-)

Butt what about her assment?

[[email protected]]

(George) wrote:

>"Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
>> "Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
>> ...
>> > (Moggycat) wrote:
>> >
>> > (ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message
>> >...
>> > :> In article >,
>> > :> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
>> > :> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
>> > :> >> *which* edge to butter...
>> > :> >
>> > :> >And what butter to use ....
>> > :>
>> > :> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
>> > :> you've got access to Rachel's.
>> > :
>> > :Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?
>> >
>> > Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
>> >
>> > [Hey, YOU started it....]
>> >
>> >
>> I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!
>
>ooooh herassment :-)

Well, if you gotta misspell it then that's the best way... :)
--

-Gord.

[Moggycat]

(George) wrote in message >...
> "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in message >...
> > "Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
> > ...
>
> > > Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
> > >
> > > [Hey, YOU started it....]
> > >
> > >
> > I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!
>
> ooooh herassment :-)

her ass me(a)nt what?

--
Sarah H
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/sm-dictionary.htm
The Alternative S&M Dictionary

[Moggycat]

Fred J. McCall > wrote in message >...
> (Moggycat) wrote:
>
> (ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message >...
> :> In article >,
> :> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
> :> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
> :> >> *which* edge to butter...
> :> >
> :> >And what butter to use ....
> :>
> :> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
> :> you've got access to Rachel's.
> :
> :Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?
>
> Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
>
I believe this is my cue to threaten to scrape Fred's butt...er!

--
Sarah H
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/sm-dictionary.htm
The Alternative S&M Dictionary

[Fred J. McCall]

(Moggycat) wrote:

:Fred J. McCall > wrote in message >...
:> (Moggycat) wrote:
:>
:> (ANDREW ROBERT BREEN) wrote in message >...
:> :> In article >,
:> :> Sarah Hotdesking > wrote:
:> :> >"Gord Beaman" > wrote in message
:> :> >> *which* edge to butter...
:> :> >
:> :> >And what butter to use ....
:> :>
:> :> Shir Ga^r or Llangadog are the only acceptable varieties, unless
:> :> you've got access to Rachel's.
:> :
:> :Must get this in before Fred does ... access to Rachel's what?
:>
:> Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
:
:I believe this is my cue to threaten to scrape Fred's butt...er!

Just remember what the appropriate 'utensil' is. ;-)

[Joe Osman]

"Moggycat" > wrote in message
om...
> (George) wrote in message
>...
> > "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote in
message >...
> > > "Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
> > > ...
> >
> > > > Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
> > > >
> > > > [Hey, YOU started it....]
> > > >
> > > >
> > > I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!
> >
> > ooooh herassment :-)
>
> her ass me(a)nt what?
>
> --
> Sarah H
> http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/sm-dictionary.htm
> The Alternative S&M Dictionary

All this reminds me of the explanation of why Women Marines wern't allowed
on the flight line. The first one to be allowed backed into a propellor. It
was a dis-assed-her.

Joe




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[Ralph Nesbitt]

"Joe Osman" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Moggycat" > wrote in message
> om...
> > (George) wrote in message
> >...
> > > "Sarah Hotdesking" > wrote
in
> message >...
> > > > "Fred J. McCall" > wrote in message
> > > > ...
> > >
> > > > > Well, I believe the topic was butt...er...
> > > > >
> > > > > [Hey, YOU started it....]
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > I'm tempted to mention butt ..er pats!!
> > >
> > > ooooh herassment :-)
> >
> > her ass me(a)nt what?
> >
> > --
> > Sarah H
> > http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/sm-dictionary.htm
> > The Alternative S&M Dictionary
>
> All this reminds me of the explanation of why Women Marines wern't allowed
> on the flight line. The first one to be allowed backed into a propellor.
It
> was a dis-assed-her.
>
> Joe
>
A well washed open air motivational speech.
Ralph Nesbitt
Professional FD/CFR/ARFF Type
Posting From ADA