Where's my Purple Heart?

[Jack]

I had a wound over my eyebrow which required six stitches while serving
in Viet Nam and I didn't get a purple heart.

I think the fact that Kerry's PH was issued in spite of the fact that
his lesser wound resulted from misemployment of his own weapon indicates
that I should have received the PH as well, even though my injury
resulted from the misapplication of a squash racquet. After all, we were
always in the presence of the enemy, even off duty.

While enjoying a respite from FACing around the country side in my
government supplied aerospace vehicle (720 total cubic thundering inches
of red-blooded American piston-pumping, fuel-injected power), I had
intended to follow the squash game with a pleasant swim in the South
China Sea from the sparkling white sand beaches of Cam Ranh Bay.
However, I was so fatigued and disoriented by my ordeal that I was
forced to retreat to the hooch bar for a liberal application of the old
home remedy.

But then I never had any political ambitions. Hell, with the right spin
I probably could have turned all that into a BS (Bronze Star) and maybe
even a two-year tour as a Congressman. Jeez, just think of all those
sweet ingenues -- I mean interns -- that I never had a chance at.

Oh well, life just ain't fair.


Jack

[Dudley Henriques]

"Jack" > wrote in message
...
> I had a wound over my eyebrow which required six stitches while
serving
> in Viet Nam and I didn't get a purple heart.
>
> I think the fact that Kerry's PH was issued in spite of the fact that
> his lesser wound resulted from misemployment of his own weapon
indicates
> that I should have received the PH as well, even though my injury
> resulted from the misapplication of a squash racquet. After all, we
were
> always in the presence of the enemy, even off duty.
>
> While enjoying a respite from FACing around the country side in my
> government supplied aerospace vehicle (720 total cubic thundering
inches
> of red-blooded American piston-pumping, fuel-injected power), I had
> intended to follow the squash game with a pleasant swim in the South
> China Sea from the sparkling white sand beaches of Cam Ranh Bay.
> However, I was so fatigued and disoriented by my ordeal that I was
> forced to retreat to the hooch bar for a liberal application of the
old
> home remedy.
>
> But then I never had any political ambitions. Hell, with the right
spin
> I probably could have turned all that into a BS (Bronze Star) and
maybe
> even a two-year tour as a Congressman. Jeez, just think of all those
> sweet ingenues -- I mean interns -- that I never had a chance at.
>
> Oh well, life just ain't fair.
>
>
> Jack

Hi Jack;
( If we ever meet getting on an airliner together, don't expect me to
greet you will you? :-))))

Don't feel bad about the PH. There was an alert shack at the end of the
scramble runway at K14 in Korea during the war. They had an enlisted guy
out there with a Very Pistol in case someone had a traffic overshoot on
final and needed a wave off. The shack had two windows; one on each side
of the room. One day, the Sergeant out there had to fire a flare. He ran
to one of the windows and fired......into the wind! The flare went up,
over the roof, and back in the shack through the other side window. The
shack caught fire. The Sergeant had no extinguisher. It was being
serviced. Frantic, he did the only thing he could do.......he ****ed on
the fire! Result; he burned his pecker. You guessed it........Purple
Heart!!!

So don't feel so bad old buddy. It could be worse. How would YOU like to
come home like this guy did with a PH and be asked by the local ladies
to explain exactly how you got it? :-)
Dudley

[Regnirps]

Jack wrote:

>While enjoying a respite from FACing around the country side in my
>government supplied aerospace vehicle (720 total cubic thundering inches
>of red-blooded American piston-pumping, fuel-injected power),

720. hmm. Mixmaster?

-- Charlie Springer

[Fred the Red Shirt]

"Dudley Henriques" > wrote in message t>...
> ...
> The Sergeant had no extinguisher. It was being
> serviced. Frantic, he did the only thing he could do.......he ****ed on
> the fire! Result; he burned his pecker. You guessed it........Purple
> Heart!!!
>
> So don't feel so bad old buddy. It could be worse. How would YOU like to
> come home like this guy did with a PH and be asked by the local ladies
> to explain exactly how you got it? :-)
>

Too bad LBJ didn't ask to see his scar...

--

FF

[Jack]

Dudley Henriques wrote:

> So don't feel so bad old buddy. It could be worse. How would YOU like to
> come home like this guy did with a PH and be asked by the local ladies
> to explain exactly how you got it? :-)

I'm afraid I'd just have to let them find out for themselves. ;)


Jack

[Jack]

Regnirps wrote:

> Jack wrote:
>
>
>>While enjoying a respite from FACing around the country side in my
>>government supplied aerospace vehicle (720 total cubic thundering inches
>>of red-blooded American piston-pumping, fuel-injected power),
>
>
> 720. hmm. Mixmaster?

Bingo!


Jack

[Regnirps]

Jack wrote:

>> 720. hmm. Mixmaster?

>Bingo!


There was an absolutely immaculate mixmaster retired from the ANG or whoever
had it last in TAP about two years ago. The owner had it back to perfect
original conditon including armored seat, clear right door, jump seats, paint
job, the works. It had reasonable hours on the engines too. He wanted $60,000.
I called and it was already on the way to a new owner. I little hidden Riley
replumbing and it would be pretty cool.

-- Charlie Springer

[Dweezil Dwarftosser]

Jack wrote:
>
> I had a wound over my eyebrow which required six stitches while serving
> in Viet Nam and I didn't get a purple heart.

Don't feel bad - a friend was the only WCS troop in the
world known to have cut off his own nose at DaNang - during
what he thought was a rocket attack - and no purple heart,
either.

He had just arrived from CONUS - a FNG, if there ever was
one. He sat through the in-processing brief about what to
when the rockets came - and was led to an upper bunk in the
AMS barracks, where he crashed. (After a 22-hour flight
from Travis, and six more hours of "welcome".)

No sooner than he had gone to sleep, the siren went off.
Tom came out of that bunk on the run - completely forgetting
he was five feet above the floor. On the way down, he saw
the reflector of a tall floor lamp quickly approaching his
face - and couldn't avoid it. It took off his nose, leaving
it attached by a small flap of skin at one side.

The medics sat him in a chair, and gave him a local anesthetic,
but started right in sewing it back on - before the numbing
agent took effect. He'd jump, squirm, and complain with each
poke.

At one point, the Doc told him to just shut up and "take it"
- or he'd sew it back on upside-down, and he'd never be able
to go out in the rain again...

He doesn't complain though; the Frankenstein scars across the
bridge of his nose are sure to invite a "There I was..."
response at the club, any time. But no Purple Heart.

[D. Strang]

I should have got a Purple Heart the time I went to go pee, and
the two guys standing next to me got wet, as the damned pipe was
all blocked-up due to a severe case of the Clap. She said she was
only 19, but hell, in Vietnam, that mean't she'd been a whore for
probably nine years...

[Jack]

Regnirps wrote:

> There was an absolutely immaculate mixmaster retired from the ANG or whoever
> had it last in TAP about two years ago.

[....]

> A little hidden Riley replumbing and it would be pretty cool.

The Riley Super Skyrocket <http://www.superskyrocket.com/> could be very
nice.


Jack

[Marc Reeve]

Regnirps wrote:

> Jack wrote:
>
>
>>>720. hmm. Mixmaster?
>
>
>>Bingo!
>
>
>
> There was an absolutely immaculate mixmaster retired from the ANG or whoever
> had it last in TAP about two years ago. The owner had it back to perfect
> original conditon including armored seat, clear right door, jump seats, paint
> job, the works. It had reasonable hours on the engines too. He wanted $60,000.
> I called and it was already on the way to a new owner. I little hidden Riley
> replumbing and it would be pretty cool.
>
Used to be one of those parked in the GA sheds at the end of the San
Jose Airport runway. Never got close enough to it to determine its level
of authenticity, though.

I should dig through my crate-o-photos and see if I ever remembered to
snap it.

-Marc

--
Marc Reeve
Some guy at a desk somewhere ^reverse^ for email