You have a voice annunciator for corrosion?

I've never heard of one of those. However, I have found a very effective
voice annunciator for flying too *often*. It's very sensitive, and it
adjusts the stridency of its warnings in direct proportion to both the last
3-6 weeks of flying history and the amount of the previous month's flying
club bill. If not much flying has been going on, it stays quiet. If you
have flown only a little bit, it merely emits frustrated sighs as you leave
for the airport. If you have been flying as much as you probably should to
maintain currency, it begins speaking aloud, usually asking questions like,
"Again?", and "So when are you going to get insert some non-flying task
here done?". And finally, if you have been flying as much as you wanted,
you will see the volume increase to ear-splitting levels, the voice
frequency reach into the soprano range, the questions turn into both
declarative statements and dire predictions, and the language evolve into
something that would make most sailors blush. As an added option, it can
also start throwing dishes, frying pans, and rolling pins at you.

My annunciator is called a "wife". If you want to buy mine, let me know!

Really honey, if you happen to catch this on Google, it was all a big joke,
OK. No, no! Look, it was just a little joke. I thought the guys would all
get a big laugh over it! I'll get the lawn cut as soon as the weather
clears up, I promise. What? Yes, dear. I'll get those shelves up right
now, dear. Yes, dear.


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