How Long Can An Airplane Sit?

You have a voice annunciator for corrosion?

I've never heard of one of those. However, I have found a very effective
voice annunciator for flying too *often*. It's very sensitive, and it
adjusts the stridency of its warnings in direct proportion to both the last
3-6 weeks of flying history and the amount of the previous month's flying
club bill. If not much flying has been going on, it stays quiet. If you
have flown only a little bit, it merely emits frustrated sighs as you leave
for the airport. If you have been flying as much as you probably should to
maintain currency, it begins speaking aloud, usually asking questions like,
"Again?", and "So when are you going to get insert some non-flying task
here done?". And finally, if you have been flying as much as you wanted,
you will see the volume increase to ear-splitting levels, the voice
frequency reach into the soprano range, the questions turn into both
declarative statements and dire predictions, and the language evolve into
something that would make most sailors blush. As an added option, it can
also start throwing dishes, frying pans, and rolling pins at you.

My annunciator is called a "wife". If you want to buy mine, let me know!

Really honey, if you happen to catch this on Google, it was all a big joke,
OK. No, no! Look, it was just a little joke. I thought the guys would all
get a big laugh over it! I'll get the lawn cut as soon as the weather
clears up, I promise. What? Yes, dear. I'll get those shelves up right
now, dear. Yes, dear.


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"Geoffrey Barnes" wrote in message
ink.net...
You have a voice annunciator for corrosion?

I've never heard of one of those. However, I have found a very effective
voice annunciator for flying too *often*. It's very sensitive, and it
adjusts the stridency of its warnings in direct proportion to both the
last
3-6 weeks of flying history and the amount of the previous month's flying
club bill. If not much flying has been going on, it stays quiet. If you
have flown only a little bit, it merely emits frustrated sighs as you
leave
for the airport. If you have been flying as much as you probably should
to
maintain currency, it begins speaking aloud, usually asking questions
like,
"Again?", and "So when are you going to get insert some non-flying task
here done?". And finally, if you have been flying as much as you wanted,
you will see the volume increase to ear-splitting levels, the voice
frequency reach into the soprano range, the questions turn into both
declarative statements and dire predictions, and the language evolve into
something that would make most sailors blush. As an added option, it can
also start throwing dishes, frying pans, and rolling pins at you.

My annunciator is called a "wife". If you want to buy mine, let me know!

Really honey, if you happen to catch this on Google, it was all a big
joke,
OK. No, no! Look, it was just a little joke. I thought the guys would
all
get a big laugh over it! I'll get the lawn cut as soon as the weather
clears up, I promise. What? Yes, dear. I'll get those shelves up right
now, dear. Yes, dear.

You been peeking in my windows?

Geoffrey,
The good news is that this device can be removed.

The bad news is that it will cost you half of everything you own, except,
perhaps, the plane itself.


The good news is that it will be worth every penny!



"Geoffrey Barnes" wrote in
ink.net:

You have a voice annunciator for corrosion?

I've never heard of one of those. However, I have found a very
effective voice annunciator for flying too *often*. It's very
sensitive, and it adjusts the stridency of its warnings in direct
proportion to both the last 3-6 weeks of flying history and the amount
of the previous month's flying club bill. If not much flying has been
going on, it stays quiet. If you have flown only a little bit, it
merely emits frustrated sighs as you leave for the airport. If you
have been flying as much as you probably should to maintain currency,
it begins speaking aloud, usually asking questions like, "Again?", and
"So when are you going to get insert some non-flying task here
done?". And finally, if you have been flying as much as you wanted,
you will see the volume increase to ear-splitting levels, the voice
frequency reach into the soprano range, the questions turn into both
declarative statements and dire predictions, and the language evolve
into something that would make most sailors blush. As an added option,
it can also start throwing dishes, frying pans, and rolling pins at
you.

My annunciator is called a "wife". If you want to buy mine, let me
know!

Really honey, if you happen to catch this on Google, it was all a big
joke, OK. No, no! Look, it was just a little joke. I thought the
guys would all get a big laugh over it! I'll get the lawn cut as soon
as the weather clears up, I promise. What? Yes, dear. I'll get those
shelves up right now, dear. Yes, dear.


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.778 / Virus Database: 525 - Release Date: 10/15/2004