EPIRB, ELT or Satellite Phone in USA?

My experiences with light aircraft, aviation-related Search and Rescue
operations in the contiguous USA coupled with the recent near-tragedy
in the Appalachians leads me to believe that one might be better
served with a Satellite phone in most circumstances common to gliders
- landouts or semi-controlled wrecks far from help.

EPRIB's and SATPhones will not be useful in uncontrolled or sudden
crashes but ELT's are apparently far from reliable and the rescues
that are mounted vary widely in terms of professionalism and
expediancy. One might be better served directly contacting parties
who are competent and devoted to your survival.

Anyone have stat's on ELT / EPIRB aviation related rescues?

I appreciate your input.