Humor...some old, some no so old

Some funny things I've actually heard over the radio:

Approach: "Arrow 024, can you give me a radio check?"
N40024: "Uh, roger......Caaan...youu...heear...thiss?"

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Tower: "45X, could you do a 5-count so I can check the receiver?"
45X: "What's that?"
Tower: "Just count to 5 and back slowly."
45X: [not slowly] "Onetwothreefourfive--can we turn base?"

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"It's so dark in here, I can't tell what the f--k I'm doing."
-tower controller with a stuck mike

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Arrow 558 is on short final, cleared orignally for land-and-hold-short:

Tower (recognizing the critical phase of flight): "Arrow 558, there's no
need to acknowledge, but you're now cleared for touch and go."

558: "Uh roger, there's no need to acknowlege, and cleared for touch and go,
558."

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The approach controller was having a hard time getting people to answer him
one afternoon. Some pilots were missing calls, others were just a little
slow in responding. Finally:

Approach: "45G, contact the tower 120.4." (no response)

Approach: (annoyed) "45G, Contact the tower on 120.4." (still no response)

Approach: "All right, WHO CAN HEAR ME OUT THERE?"

There was a slight pause, then:

"44K can hear you."

"46T hears you ok."

"Navajo 14L can hear you."

"Waterski 441 can hear ya."

"487 can hear you."

"Mooney 87V can hear you too."

And after another three or four aircraft, approach got an opening:

Approach: (exasperated) "All right. I THINK THAT WAS EVERYONE!"

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Approach: "Arrow 1234, are you a high or a low-tail Arrow?"
Arrow 1234: "Uhh... standby, let me check."

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And funny things I've heard elsewhe

Approach: "American 420, slow to 170 knots, following a Citation five miles
ahead."
AA420: "I thought a Citation was a jet."

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Pilot: "The first officer says he has the airport in sight."
Approach: "Roger, the first officer is cleared for a visual approach, you
stay on that 280 heading and descend to 3000."

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Approach: "Japan Air 123, can you give me a radio check?"
JL123: "Rogah, switching!"

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Tower: "Falcon 505, cleared to land, you're following a Tampico on short
final."

Falcon 505: "What's a Tampico?"

Tower: "It's a low wing single, kinda like a Cherokee."

Falcon 505 (kind of haughty voice): "Ohh, I see, we thought it was a Mexican
restaurant!"

Tower: "United 4212, number three, you're following a Falcon five miles
ahead."

United 4212 (just the right amount of irony): "What's a Falcon?"




-Eric



"Tom Sixkiller" wrote in message
...

While taxiing at London Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight
departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with
a United 727.

An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew,
screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you

skyliner wrote:

Some funny things I've actually heard over the radio:

"Trenton, you can repeat that clearance, oh, say about 20 more times. Or once
slowly."

============================================

"New York approach, y'all hear how fast I'm a'talkin'? Well, that's how fast I'm
a'listnen'."

============================================

George Patterson
This marriage is off to a shaky start. The groom just asked the band to
play "Your cheatin' heart", and the bride just requested "Don't come home
a'drinkin' with lovin' on your mind".

"G.R. Patterson III" wrote in message
...


skyliner wrote:

Some funny things I've actually heard over the radio:

"Trenton, you can repeat that clearance, oh, say about 20 more times. Or
once
slowly."

============================================

"New York approach, y'all hear how fast I'm a'talkin'? Well, that's how
fast I'm
a'listnen'."

============================================
Along that line:

A Slowww talking Texas accent heard over the radio to say. "Ahh, Tower, you
wanna repeat that, this time like you really mean it?".