KitPlanes - Home Page by Ron Wanttaja

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 07:28:12 -0700, Ed Wischmeyer
wrote:

XP! - excecute programmer immediate

NEW ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE COMMANDS

AAR alter at random
ABW add backwards
AFV add finagle's variable constant
AWT assemble with tinker toys
BAC branch to alpha centauri
BAF blow all fuses
BCI branch creating infinite loop
BDC break down and cry
BFR belch fire
BDT burn data tree
BRG burn registers
BWM branch on whim
CHV create havoc
CMD compare meaningless data
CML compute meaning of life
COL crash for operator's lunch break
CRS continue running after stop or halt
CSL curse and swear loudly
CVG convert to garbage
DBU destroy backup
DBZ divide by zero
DDC dally during calculations
DMR dump memory to russians
DOC drive operator crazy
DLN don't look now...
DPI define pi
DPR destroy program
DSF destroy source file
DTC destroy this command
DTV destroy third variable from left
DWD destroy world (global thermonuclear war)
EAD erase all disks
ECO electrocute computer operator
EIA execute in any order
ENF emit noxious fumes
FLI flash lights impressively
FSM fold spindle and mutilate
GCA get correct answer regardless (must be followed by SCCA)
HCF halt and catch fire
HIB hang innocent bystander
HOP hang operator
ISC insert sarcastic comments
JTZ jump to twilight zone
LPA lead programmer astray
MAZ multiply answer by zero
MWT malfunction without telling
OML obey murphy's laws
PHC punch extra holes in cards
PNR print nasty replies to programmer
RAN randomize answer
RCB read commands backwards
RDA refuse to disclose answer
RLI rotate left indefinitely
RPM read programmer's mind
SAI skip all instructions
SCC short circuit on correct answer
SFH set flags to half mast
SRD shift right, double rediculous
TAW trash always
TEV trash everything
TLO turn indicator lights off
TPD tell programmer to do it him/herself
TSR trash and stay resident
TTA try, try again
WSW work in strange and wondrous ways

Check out "A Real Programmer, The Story of Mel" on my web page. Note
the 'created with' icon at the bottom of the page. (Roger, you can
review my html code)

- John (terse code) Ousterhout -
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/ousterj/

"John Ousterhout" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 07:28:12 -0700, Ed Wischmeyer
wrote:

XP! - excecute programmer immediate

NEW ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE COMMANDS

You're missing the infamous HCF...Halt and Catch Fire instruction.

A friend of mine went to a new startup called "CatchFire Systems." He
swears it's only coincidentally related to HCF.

Of course, the other fun one was the new UNIX errno value:

ELECTROLUX ... Your code needs cleaning up.

In article ,
Ron Natalie wrote:

"John Ousterhout"
wrote in
message
.. .
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 07:28:12 -0700, Ed Wischmeyer
wrote:

XP! - excecute programmer immediate

NEW ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE COMMANDS

You're missing the infamous HCF...Halt and Catch Fire instruction.

A friend of mine went to a new startup called "CatchFire Systems." He
swears it's only coincidentally related to HCF.

Of course, the other fun one was the new UNIX errno value:

ELECTROLUX ... Your code needs cleaning up.

a few others:

EFLAT ... file system needs tuning

EEEEEEEE ... speaker too close to microphone.

EIEIO ... "Bug, bug, here, bug, bug, there,
here a bug, there a bug....."

I was there, _at_ that conference where the "invent an error message" contest
was held, that all these came from.

The winner, by acclamation -- *after* it was explained to the Brits that
threw it out in the preliminary judging -- was:

EMR_ED "A host is a host,
from coast to coast,
And no one will talk to
a host that's close.
Unless, of course,
the host that isn't close,
is either down, or hung, or dead."

It got a _standing_ovation_ from the entire room of 1000+ techies, when it
was read.

John, I have to ask...Did "Mel" just happen to do this at a school in
the northern wilds of Michigan?

Roger

Check out "A Real Programmer, The Story of Mel" on my web page. Note
the 'created with' icon at the bottom of the page. (Roger, you can
review my html code)

- John (terse code) Ousterhout -
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/ousterj/

Roger Halstead (K8RI EN73 & ARRL Life Member)
www.rogerhalstead.com
N833R World's oldest Debonair? (S# CD-2)