The Impossibility of Flying Heavy Aircraft Without Training

In article , Richard Isakson
says...

As further proof that Chuck's theory doesn't work, I tried an experiment
this morning. I took a pillow off my bed. It is mostly feathers, after
all. To give it a proper test, I hiked up the Ebey's Landing Bluff Trail to
the edge of the cliff. Having great faith in Chuck and fully expecting my
pillow to soar up over my head, I give that pillow a good strong toss ...
Nope. It went staight down. Splat! Right into the Puget Sound.

Thanks to Chuck, I'll be sleeping on a soggy pillow tonight!

Richard, as I was lamenting your tale of woe I decided to see why you got the
result you did . So I embarked on a non federally funded research project and
made many new scientific discovery's such as:

-Pillows are not Gooses
-Gooses have feathers
-Pillows have down
-Gooses feathers are outside
-Pillows down is inside
-Gooses have down that is in under the feathers
-Gooses are hard to catch ...alive
-Pillows are easy to catch
-Gooses bite...hard
-Pillows are soft
-Gooses keep you awake
-Pillows make you sleepy
-Gooses get grumpy
-Pillows are calm

After obtaining this data I decided to pull all the feathers off a Goose and
leave the down attached.The Goose didn't seem happy, maybe I could get a
research grant to determine if the Gooses get grumpy because they are half naked
or because they're cold.But that's a whole nuther topic. I then proceeded to the
Clark ave bridge (altitude about 75') and pitched this unhappy Goose off to see
him fly .He didn't and boy he was really mad when I went down to
retrieve him.
Then it became obvious that feathers are for flying and down is for "down".
After the first test I thought that possibly I was in an area of high gravity so
I went to where gravity is less ...the airport. Everyone knows airports are
built in low gravity areas.But that's another topic in itself as to how I
discovered that.I then went to the top of the highest hangar and threw the Goose
off. He failed to fly again and was REALLY ****ed off at me.

So therefore it is logical to conclude that Gooses have 2 types of feathers ,one
for flying and one for landing.Pillows are filled with the "down" feathers
..That's why your pillow went "down" when you launched it. This is an example of
why this type of testing must be conducted by experts.

More research must be done so please send money so this very important research
can continue. I'd also like to get a stunt double for the Goose as well. Now I'm
off to see if the reports of an aviator looping,rolling and spinning a cow are
true!!

See ya

Chuck(fly writer,scientist, alchemist and witch doctor) S






-

Then it became obvious that feathers are for flying and down is for "down".
[...]
So therefore it is logical to conclude that Gooses have 2 types of feathers ,one
for flying and one for landing.

There is more to it than that. Not only does flying require up and
down, they have to be in the right place or the craft will be unstable.
This is why most conventional aircraft have a tail that pushes down,
to counteract the wings that push up. Push-ups are tiring, and after
doing push-ups I have to lie down. If a plane had to do that all the
time we'd never get anywhere, so the down and the up are both put on the
plane. The down is on the tail (when you fall down, you fall on your
tail) and the up is on the wings.

Canard aircraft have only "up" surfaces, which is why only unstable
people fly them. They were obviously designed by unstable people, since
the name "canard" means duck, which is what you should do when you
encounter one of them. Real ducks, of course, have down and up, very
similar to gooses and geese. When they are on the ground, walk up to a
goose and watch its head. It goes down and up.

One of the ways airlines thought of for saving money was to eliminate
the pillows they give to passengers. I guess they figured that if they
had less down, their up would be more efficient. Of course this didn't
happen, which is typical of the results when a bean counter plays the
part of aeronautical engineer. The first effect was that the passengers
became unstable, and then the airline became unstable.

Down is very important for flying - not just for landing.

Jose
--
Money: what you need when you run out of brains.
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

In article , Jose says...

Then it became obvious that feathers are for flying and down is for "down".
[...]
So therefore it is logical to conclude that Gooses have 2 types of feathers ,one
for flying and one for landing.

There is more to it than that. Not only does flying require up and
down, they have to be in the right place or the craft will be unstable.
This is why most conventional aircraft have a tail that pushes down,
to counteract the wings that push up. Push-ups are tiring, and after
doing push-ups I have to lie down. If a plane had to do that all the
time we'd never get anywhere, so the down and the up are both put on the
plane. The down is on the tail (when you fall down, you fall on your
tail) and the up is on the wings.

Canard aircraft have only "up" surfaces, which is why only unstable
people fly them. They were obviously designed by unstable people, since
the name "canard" means duck, which is what you should do when you
encounter one of them. Real ducks, of course, have down and up, very
similar to gooses and geese. When they are on the ground, walk up to a
goose and watch its head. It goes down and up.

One of the ways airlines thought of for saving money was to eliminate
the pillows they give to passengers. I guess they figured that if they
had less down, their up would be more efficient. Of course this didn't
happen, which is typical of the results when a bean counter plays the
part of aeronautical engineer. The first effect was that the passengers
became unstable, and then the airline became unstable.

Down is very important for flying - not just for landing.

Jose

In article , Jose says...

There is more to it than that. Not only does flying require up and
down, they have to be in the right place or the craft will be unstable.
This is why most conventional aircraft have a tail that pushes down,
to counteract the wings that push up. Push-ups are tiring, and after
doing push-ups I have to lie down. If a plane had to do that all the
time we'd never get anywhere, so the down and the up are both put on the
plane. The down is on the tail (when you fall down, you fall on your
tail) and the up is on the wings.
Major snip for brevity.

Well Jose you just provided additional areas of needed research and that more
money must be spent on my "research" projects:-)

I am now constructing a push up outfit with feathers on top in the proper ratio
and down on the bottom. Hmmm sounds like that's just where down should be "on
the bottom". I should be able to perform effortless push up's with it and then
go outside and go fly around a bit to cool off.

Chuck (el Pollo loco) S

ChuckSlusarczyk wrote:
In article , Jose says...

There is more to it than that. Not only does flying require up and
down, they have to be in the right place or the craft will be unstable.
This is why most conventional aircraft have a tail that pushes down,
to counteract the wings that push up. Push-ups are tiring, and after
doing push-ups I have to lie down. If a plane had to do that all the
time we'd never get anywhere, so the down and the up are both put on the
plane. The down is on the tail (when you fall down, you fall on your
tail) and the up is on the wings.
Major snip for brevity.

Well Jose you just provided additional areas of needed research and that more
money must be spent on my "research" projects:-)

I am now constructing a push up outfit with feathers on top in the proper ratio
and down on the bottom. Hmmm sounds like that's just where down should be "on
the bottom". I should be able to perform effortless push up's with it and then
go outside and go fly around a bit to cool off.

I always feel sorry for drakes.

No matter what they do they can't get up for down :-)

I am now constructing a push up outfit with feathers on top in the proper ratio
and down on the bottom. Hmmm sounds like that's just where down should be "on
the bottom".

You see, this is why science should be left to the professionals. Such
simple sounding theories are usually wrong, and in this case you have
neglected forward motion, which provides many secondary effects. This
is why the down part of an airplane is at the BACK, not the BOTTOM. The
airplane is travelling through the air, and the first thing the air gets
is the up, and the last thing it gets is the down. Of course, as far as
the air is concerned, it's backwards (plane goes up, air goes down, at
least for a while). That's what makes the vortex.

Money is needed primarily to achieve forward motion. While an airplane
on the ground will consume a certain amount of money, flying it consumes
far more. You put some in at the beginning, and the bills come =after=
the flight. This is what causes the money vortex, which is exactly
analogous to the air vortex that holds the wing up. It is impossible to
put all the money in one place and have the airplane fly.

It is just as impossible to put the up and the down where it seems they
"should" go and get the plane to fly. Only a rocketship can do that,
and there is a =lot= of down coming out of the bottom, and a lot of up
where the top is. But there's no sideways motion (at least there
shouldn't be!)

Jose
--
Money: what you need when you run out of brains.
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

On Sat, 25 Feb 2006 20:23:55 GMT, Jose
wrote:

You see, this is why science should be left to the professionals.

I hope you're going to cut and paste this all together and put it on a
Web site somewhere. Decades from now, persons yet unborn will be
asking, "Does anybody have a link . . .?

Don

Jose wrote:
I am now constructing a push up outfit with feathers on top in the
proper ratio
and down on the bottom. Hmmm sounds like that's just where down should
be "on
the bottom".


You see, this is why science should be left to the professionals. Such
simple sounding theories are usually wrong, ...

snipped the expensive part

Jose

Occom's Razor, Jose.

The simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

Occom's Razor, Jose.

Yes, but Occam's razor needs to work with theories that explain the
facts. Fact is, the down on an airplane =is= laterally separated from
the up, and airplanes fly only when they move forward.

If Occam's razor were so simple, we wouldn't have million dollar grants.

Jose
--
Money: what you need when you run out of brains.
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

Jose wrote:

Occom's Razor, Jose.


Yes, but Occam's razor needs to work with theories that explain the
facts. Fact is, the down on an airplane =is= laterally separated from
the up, and airplanes fly only when they move forward.

If Occam's razor were so simple, we wouldn't have million dollar grants.

Jose

OK, Jose (just had to say that one) explain delta wings.

http://ernest.isa-geek.org

--
This is by far the hardest lesson about freedom. It goes against
instinct, and morality, to just sit back and watch people make
mistakes. We want to help them, which means control them and their
decisions, but in doing so we actually hurt them (and ourselves)."