A REALLY bad joke

Darkwing" theducksmailATyahoo.com wrote in message


One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat
and I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes
(we both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't think
it was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.


A long time ago, I fell asleep whily my friend was driving. He locked up the
brakes on the highway and spun the car 360 degrees. I woke up in the middle.

"Steve Foley" wrote in message
...
Darkwing" theducksmailATyahoo.com wrote in message


One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat
and I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes
(we both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't
think it was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.


A long time ago, I fell asleep whily my friend was driving. He locked up
the brakes on the highway and spun the car 360 degrees. I woke up in the
middle.

(More stupid people tricks..)

I had a passenger sleeping while I was following one of those large tow
trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by its tail. She woke up and screamed
at first until she realized we weren't on a collision course with the semi.
Sure startled me...

Greg B wrote:
"Steve Foley" wrote in message
...
Darkwing" theducksmailATyahoo.com wrote in message


One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat
and I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes
(we both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't
think it was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.


A long time ago, I fell asleep whily my friend was driving. He locked up
the brakes on the highway and spun the car 360 degrees. I woke up in the
middle.

(More stupid people tricks..)

I had a passenger sleeping while I was following one of those large tow
trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by its tail. She woke up and screamed
at first until she realized we weren't on a collision course with the semi.
Sure startled me...

Some other stupid tricks

A friend liked to drive around bends rather fast.
One day I janked the parking brake from the passenger seat when half
way in a turn, that was fun.

Put the driver seat in the most forward position when (s)he is out for
fuelling or something.
While you are at it, turn the fan to max., turn on the wipers at full
speed and if the power for the radio is switched on by the key put the
volume on max. Fun if the key is turned.
And do not forget to off set the rear view mirrors.

When waiting for traffic lights put the car in neutral without the
driver noticing, works best with manual gear.

-Kees.

"GB" == Greg B writes:

GB I had a passenger sleeping while I was following one of those
GB large tow trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by its
GB tail. She woke up and screamed at first until she realized we
GB weren't on a collision course with the semi. Sure startled
GB me...

I had a kid scream a few seconds before landing in a C182 "we're going
to crash!!!" I remember thinking, humm, I don't think my landings are
that bad, does he see another plane??...then I realized he wasn't used
to the sight angle out the front of a Cessna in a steep descent with
40 degrees flaps.

I've had other pax ask if something is wrong when the throttle is
pulled back on downwind.

An instructor told me that one time slipping a plane to landing, his
wife thought they were going to crash.

Makes you realize that what to pilots are perfectly normal things, to
pax may be their last moments.

--
"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
land." even if you're going down.



"Bob Fry" wrote in message
...
| "GB" == Greg B writes:
|
| GB I had a passenger sleeping while I was following
one of those
| GB large tow trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by
its
| GB tail. She woke up and screamed at first until she
realized we
| GB weren't on a collision course with the semi. Sure
startled
| GB me...
|
| I had a kid scream a few seconds before landing in a C182
"we're going
| to crash!!!" I remember thinking, humm, I don't think my
landings are
| that bad, does he see another plane??...then I realized he
wasn't used
| to the sight angle out the front of a Cessna in a steep
descent with
| 40 degrees flaps.
|
| I've had other pax ask if something is wrong when the
throttle is
| pulled back on downwind.
|
| An instructor told me that one time slipping a plane to
landing, his
| wife thought they were going to crash.
|
| Makes you realize that what to pilots are perfectly normal
things, to
| pax may be their last moments.
|
| --
| "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to
driver error."

Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
land." even if you're going down.

.... and your passengers might not know the difference between the crash
and your regular landings. g

Apropos of other "bad jokes", I used to tell my wife that when I'm
driving, if I don't like what I see, I just close my eyes for a while.
Once I closed my right eye and she freaked out for a moment until she
realized I was pulling her leg.

Jose
--
"There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing. Unfortunately, nobody knows
what they are." - (mike).
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

I have always carried pretty good passengers, really don't
want to cause them problems at least until they pay the
bill.

I'd love to have a car with a full set of controls in the
right rear seat and drive on the freeway with nobody in the
front seats. Maybe a mini-van.




"Jose" wrote in message
. com...
| Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
| Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
| land." even if you're going down.
|
| ... and your passengers might not know the difference
between the crash
| and your regular landings. g
|
| Apropos of other "bad jokes", I used to tell my wife that
when I'm
| driving, if I don't like what I see, I just close my eyes
for a while.
| Once I closed my right eye and she freaked out for a
moment until she
| realized I was pulling her leg.
|
| Jose
| --
| "There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing.
Unfortunately, nobody knows
| what they are." - (mike).
| for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

Jim Macklin wrote:
Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
land." even if you're going down.

An FBO employee made my wife (a nervous airline flyer) turn ghost white
by saying: "A busy day gets worse when one of your planes goes down."
He was referring to a rental C152 with an alternator squawk "going down"
for maintenance. G

An FBO employee made my wife (a nervous airline flyer) turn ghost white
by saying: "A busy day gets worse when one of your planes goes down."
He was referring to a rental C152 with an alternator squawk "going down"
for maintenance. G

Like I pilot friend of mine told me he was coming in to land and
misjudged the approach and came in way to high. Upon Initiating a go
arround and told his passengers "We're not go make it" Meaning he was
going to have to go around. The passengers took it to mean "We are'nt
going to make it"

Brian wrote:
Like I pilot friend of mine told me he was coming in to land and
misjudged the approach and came in way to high. Upon Initiating a go
arround and told his passengers "We're not go make it" Meaning he was
going to have to go around. The passengers took it to mean "We are'nt
going to make it"

That seems like a reasonable interpretation to me.

.... Alan

--
Alan Gerber
PP-ASEL
gerber AT panix DOT com