Funny Radio isums...

In article , Jeff wrote:

Was listening to an approach controller talking to a pilot. Approach
was having a hard time hearing the pilot and said: "I can barely hear
you, turn your volume up." g

--
Dale L. Falk

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing
as simply messing around with airplanes.

http://home.gci.net/~sncdfalk/flying.html

On my first flight into C airspace with my instructor (as a private pilot
student) I didn't realize the policy of the tower was to ask for GA planes
to shut off their transponders while doing circuits.

Tower:
"cessna 1234, squawk standby"

either a lame response from me, or no response

tower repeated the call at least 2 more times before my instructor asked if
I was going to turn the transponder switch to standby as I had acknowledged
the call and he knew I heard it.

I thought I was standing by for a new code and they were just taking their
sweet time making one up.

Jeff ) wrote:

then said, "what kind of ground speed are you showing on that tomahawk"
tower said 100 kts, the airliner goes, 100 kts over the ground! Oh
boyyyyyy..

During my instrument training we were about five miles out on an ILS
approach when a taxiing B737 arrived at the runway and called ready. I
thought for sure the tower would clear him for T/O but instead they
instructed him to hold short for landing traffic.

On this clear day there was a moderately strong headwind, so my groundspeed
was somewhere around 65kts in a C172. About thirty seconds elapses when
the pilot of the B737 asks the tower, "What kind of aircraft is
approaching, a helicopter?"

--
Peter

Jeff ) wrote:

then said, "what kind of ground speed are you showing on that tomahawk"
tower said 100 kts, the airliner goes, 100 kts over the ground! Oh
boyyyyyy..

That reminds me of an incident during my instrument training. We were
flying an ILS into my home airport in a C172. There was a moderate head
wind, so my ground speed was only about 65 kts or so.

A 737 had arrived at the runway and called ready. We were still about five
miles out so I was expecting the controller to clear the 737 for takeoff.
Instead, the controller instructed the 737 to hold short for approaching
traffic.

About 30 seconds slip by when the 737 pilot calls out, "What kind of
aircraft is approaching, a helicopter?"

--
Peter




























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On Mon, 17 Nov 2003 10:22:58 -0500, Peter R. wrote:

Jeff ) wrote:

then said, "what kind of ground speed are you showing on that tomahawk"
tower said 100 kts, the airliner goes, 100 kts over the ground! Oh
boyyyyyy..

That reminds me of an incident during my instrument training. We were
flying an ILS into my home airport in a C172. There was a moderate head
wind, so my ground speed was only about 65 kts or so.

A 737 had arrived at the runway and called ready. We were still about five
miles out so I was expecting the controller to clear the 737 for takeoff.
Instead, the controller instructed the 737 to hold short for approaching
traffic.

Man! I was cleared for departure at LAN a few years back with a
request to expedite as there was a DC-9 on a 5 mile final.

A friend had taken his Cherokee down for maintenance and I was giving
him a ride home. I don't think he ever quite looking back until we
made our turn out of the pattern.

We had climbed to 1000, made a right turn and were close to a mile
north before the DC-9 crossed the numbers.

Roger Halstead (K8RI EN73 & ARRL Life Member)
www.rogerhalstead.com
N833R World's oldest Debonair? (S# CD-2)

About 30 seconds slip by when the 737 pilot calls out, "What kind of
aircraft is approaching, a helicopter?"

wrote:

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?

An old anecdote that's made the rounds for a while goes something like
this:

Many commercial aircraft are stacked up waiting for approach to O'Hare.
ATC has imposed numerous delays, and some planes are already 1-2 hours
late. The WX is good, it's just that there is a traffic bottleneck
somewhere. Pilots, passengers, crew are all getting quite frustrated and
angry.

ATC: "All aircraft holding, expect 20 minutes additional delay."

Unknown A/C: "Ahhh . . . bull****!"

ATC: "Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself."

(silence)

ATC: "Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself immediately!"

(silence)

ATC: "Aircraft using 'bull****' in last transmission, identify yourself.
American 411, was that you?"

American 411: "Approach, American 411: negative on the 'bull****,' sir."

NW 202: "Approach, NW 202: negative on the 'bull****.'"

Delta 55: "Approach, Delta 55: negative on the 'bull****.'"

NW 33: "Approach, NW 33: we have a negative on that 'bull****.'"

.. . . and so on, right through the entire pattern.

--

GregR - Another Beemer Biker ...o&o

[This space for rent - inquire within]

Saw something similar posted on the net a while ago...

On a quiet frequency one night

Unknown A/C: "I'm f**king bored"
ATC: "Aircraft calling identify yourself."
Unknown A/C: "I said I'm f**king bored, not f**cking stupid!"


Phil
www.pfactor.com

Pilot explaining in great detail to passengers about how they were
having engine trouble and would be diverting to a different airport.

Second pilot came on and said, 'Do it again on the intercom.'

Third pilot says, 'You told them way too much.'
--
Gene Seibel
Hangar 131 - http://pad39a.com/gene/plane.html
Because I fly, I envy no one.


I'm working my way through my IFR training...
Today on the radio "79V switch to 134.0"

Where I dial in 134.0 on the toggle freq acknolege the request
switch to COM2 (Meant to hit toggle)
Annonced that I was checking in....
At which point ground control (from where I'd left 15 min ago)
tells me they don't know why I'm calling..... with laughter.

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?


Paul

In a previous article, (Gene Seibel) said:
Pilot explaining in great detail to passengers about how they were
having engine trouble and would be diverting to a different airport.

Second pilot came on and said, 'Do it again on the intercom.'

Third pilot says, 'You told them way too much.'

The one I heard of was the pilot being told to go around because his gear
wasn't down, and then him telling the "passengers" that he was going
around because a plane entered the runway ahead of him, but saying it on
the frequency instead of on the intercom.


--
Paul Tomblin http://xcski.com/blogs/pt/
As it should be - snipe at *.mil and expect to drop any plans for
the rest of that day.
-- Alex

We have an approach controller in Dayton who is very funny. I always enjoy
talking to him. He rarely uses the "traditional" ATC words unless you don't
understand him and he has to repeat it. One day he was having a
communication problem with a pilot about what to squawk. 5 times he
instructed him to squawk 1234; however, the pilot kept repeating 1324.
Finally, he told him to write down the numbers exactly as he said them and
slowly repeated the squawk a 6th time. When the pilot successfully repeated
it to him he said "Great!! Nice job. Now I want you to make your
transponder look exactly like what you wrote down." Several pilots chimed
in thanking him for a good laugh.