Funny Radio isums...

"Kevin Chandler" writes:
We have an approach controller in Dayton who is very funny. I always enjoy
talking to him. He rarely uses the "traditional" ATC words unless you don't
understand him and he has to repeat it. One day he was having a
communication problem with a pilot about what to squawk. 5 times he
instructed him to squawk 1234; however, the pilot kept repeating 1324.
Finally, he told him to write down the numbers exactly as he said them and
slowly repeated the squawk a 6th time. When the pilot successfully repeated
it to him he said "Great!! Nice job. Now I want you to make your
transponder look exactly like what you wrote down." Several pilots chimed
in thanking him for a good laugh.

You mean the controller didn't do this on the /third/ try?

I landed about the same time as a 767 (different runways) and ended up
taking the same taxiway as the big bird. We entered opposite ends of the
taxiway about the same time and turned to face each other like in a western
movie gun battle. He needed only to travel about 1/3 of the taxiway before
turning off, while I needed to travel the whole length to get to the ramp
where I parked. Obviously we weren't both going to accomplish our goals at
the same time. Ground control told me where the jet would be turning off,
directed me to give way to the jet, and cautioned for jetwash. I paused for
a second, then answered, "I've given it some thought and I've decided to let
the big guy have his way". I don't know if it was the jet pilot or another
pilot on the field that answered, but while laughing he said, "Good thing -
you'd lose".

JimC

wrote in message
...
I'm working my way through my IFR training...
Today on the radio "79V switch to 134.0"

Where I dial in 134.0 on the toggle freq acknolege the request
switch to COM2 (Meant to hit toggle)
Annonced that I was checking in....
At which point ground control (from where I'd left 15 min ago)
tells me they don't know why I'm calling..... with laughter.

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?


Paul

Ground control .....directed me to give way to the jet

In a somewhat similar situation at Greater Pitt, years ago, I reached
an intersection (in a Cherokee) the same time as a 737.

Before Ground Control could say anything, the 737 stopped, an arm
reached out of the copilot's window, waving me on, and a voice on the
radio said "Go ahead, Cherokee; we always try to be nice to our Indian
friends."

vince norris

In a somewhat similar situation at Greater Pitt, years ago, I reached
an intersection (in a Cherokee) the same time as a 737.

Before Ground Control could say anything, the 737 stopped, an arm
reached out of the copilot's window, waving me on...


At first I pictured this happening at a five letter intersection at seven
thousand feet.

Jose

--
(for Email, make the obvious changes in my address)

writes:

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?

Coming back from my first student solo XC in 2000, I realized I'd set
up too high for my approach, pushed full throttle, established a climb
and informed the tower I was going around. The tower came back with
one word, 'observed'.

Ari.

--
Elections only count as free and trials as fair if you can lose money
betting on the outcome.

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?

~2 yrs ago on takeoff out of BED, tower calls us, "Warrior 10J, hanscom
tower with a request."

"Tower 10J, go ahead," we reply.

"When you cross the departure end of 11, look off to your right and tell us
if you see a kangaroo anywhere."

Long pause. We look around. "Um, negative kangaroo."

"OK, thanks 10J."

Never did find out the story behind that one...

In article ,
wrote:

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?

heard on the air today (clearly I wasn't really
paying attention to this interchange until the end)...

some aircraft was using unicom to call in range.

The guy on the ground asked if he had the MOD on board (I think).

The aircraft replied "No, I have Michael Jackson on board"

The reply: "It s**ks to be you"

--
Bob Noel

Pre Sept 11, 2001 doing night approaches at a local Civilian field with an
ANG wing. Tower is trying to call me out as traffic for to two in bound
A-10's. After a couple of position reports the converstation goes something
like this...

Tower to A-10s: "Your target is inbound on the approach at 12 oclock & 5
miles indicating 1400 feet."

A10 to Tower: "We have the target in sight, requesting permission to
engage."

After a LONG pause, the Tower comes back: "Correction, That's TRAFFIC, not
target."

A10 to Tower: "Ah shucks..."

Me to Tower: "Thank you for that minor distinction and stand by while I
unload my flare pistol."

In article 36Nxb.6255$Yt4.4893@lakeread05,
"cefarthing" wrote:


We were in the Chicago area with the B-24 and were inbound to the
airport after a local flight. We requested a low approach with closed
traffic for a full stop. The controller approved our request then told
the bizjet behind us to do a 360 (to allow us time to do our thing).
The bizjet asked why he was having to do the 360 and the Tower replied
"Any airplane with guns has the right-of-way!" G

--
Dale L. Falk

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing
as simply messing around with airplanes.

http://home.gci.net/~sncdfalk/flying.html

wrote:

I'm working my way through my IFR training...
Today on the radio "79V switch to 134.0"

Where I dial in 134.0 on the toggle freq acknolege the request
switch to COM2 (Meant to hit toggle)
Annonced that I was checking in....
At which point ground control (from where I'd left 15 min ago)
tells me they don't know why I'm calling..... with laughter.

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?


Paul



Today I was safety piloting for an instrument pilot who was a bit rusty.
We were doing the ILS 33 into BDL. The whole way down he was full scale
side to side on the localizer and almost as bad on the glide slope.
Tower asked a commercial airliner to hold short of 33 for aircraft on
low approach. The aircraft who was facing right at us, replied "Holding
short and a fine approach it is". We both started laughing and the pilot
turns to me and says remember whats herd in the cockpit stays in the
cockpit. Therefore I cannot divulge his name but if he is reading this
he will kill me.

John Roncallo