$#@! TSA requirements

We just got back from a Caribbean cruise, so now I can say that I have taken
that dam ship to Hell (the Maasdam, to be specific). I was most disappointed
that Martin Hotze was not in Hell. I was told he was away on assignment.

Against all my previous resolutions, we flew commercial down to Fort
Lauderdale. I got to have my cowboy hat x-rayed, belt and shoes removed,
patted about the groin, etc. The pat-down was the most fun I have had in ten
years.

Coming home was even worse. I got to stand in line for 20 minutes at the
baggage check-in for e-ticket holders who already had printed out their
boarding passes via the internet. Seems an old lady was trying to buy
tickets there, arguing about the weight allowance on her luggage, and could
not really decide where she wanted to go or when. The wait at the security
checkpoint was even longer. When I finally got to the checker two guys
jumped out of line in front of me, which nearly started an altercation. The
old lady's long-suffering husband was selected for extended search. You
never know what those 80 year old guys might be up to. I would think that if
decades of being married to that idiot has not turned him into a terrorist
by now, nothing will.

But the most fun was getting on and off the Maasdam at each port of call.
Here they always had us pass through a metal detector -- even though our
luggage was loaded separately and was waiting for us in out staterooms. Many
of the passengers were carrying snorkeling and SCUBA gear, including diving
knives, etc. I have not got the faintest idea what these security people
were looking for, but the wire in the brim of my hat always attracted a lot
of attention. They allowed my pocket knife and Leatherman tool to pass
without comment. I guess the next time I plan to garrote somebody I will
just have to sneak my wire saw on board with the luggage.

--
Christopher J. Campbell
World Famous Flight Instructor
Port Orchard, WA


If you go around beating the Bush, don't complain if you rile the animals.

If it makes you feel any better TSA is laying off about 5000 people on Jan.
1. It is a start.

Mike
MU-2


"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...
We just got back from a Caribbean cruise, so now I can say that I have
taken
that dam ship to Hell (the Maasdam, to be specific). I was most
disappointed
that Martin Hotze was not in Hell. I was told he was away on assignment.

Against all my previous resolutions, we flew commercial down to Fort
Lauderdale. I got to have my cowboy hat x-rayed, belt and shoes removed,
patted about the groin, etc. The pat-down was the most fun I have had in
ten
years.

Coming home was even worse. I got to stand in line for 20 minutes at the
baggage check-in for e-ticket holders who already had printed out their
boarding passes via the internet. Seems an old lady was trying to buy
tickets there, arguing about the weight allowance on her luggage, and
could
not really decide where she wanted to go or when. The wait at the security
checkpoint was even longer. When I finally got to the checker two guys
jumped out of line in front of me, which nearly started an altercation.
The
old lady's long-suffering husband was selected for extended search. You
never know what those 80 year old guys might be up to. I would think that
if
decades of being married to that idiot has not turned him into a terrorist
by now, nothing will.

But the most fun was getting on and off the Maasdam at each port of call.
Here they always had us pass through a metal detector -- even though our
luggage was loaded separately and was waiting for us in out staterooms.
Many
of the passengers were carrying snorkeling and SCUBA gear, including
diving
knives, etc. I have not got the faintest idea what these security people
were looking for, but the wire in the brim of my hat always attracted a
lot
of attention. They allowed my pocket knife and Leatherman tool to pass
without comment. I guess the next time I plan to garrote somebody I will
just have to sneak my wire saw on board with the luggage.

--
Christopher J. Campbell
World Famous Flight Instructor
Port Orchard, WA


If you go around beating the Bush, don't complain if you rile the animals.

Mike Rapoport wrote:

If it makes you feel any better TSA is laying off about 5000 people on Jan.
1. It is a start.


Yet, strangely enough, the TSA had their staffing cap removed as part of
the recently-passed FAA reauthorization bill.

"Mike Rapoport" wrote in message
ink.net...
If it makes you feel any better TSA is laying off about 5000 people on
Jan.
1. It is a start.

Mike
MU-2


That's great news! Haven't been able to get a decent burger since the TSA
employed all the really good flippers as Security officers.
--
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MI-150972
PP-ASEL-IA

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**"A long time ago being crazy meant something, nowadays everyone is
crazy" -- Charles Manson**
-------------------------------------

You must look suspicious. I fly out of Miami frequently and never
have any problems. In fact I came back north from Miami last
week and it took me about 2 minutes to check in and about 2 or 3
to go thru security complete with a "thank you .. have a nice trip".
Haven't flown out of FTL yet. Been doing MIA very frequently for 7+
yrs now though.

It has been my experience that the level of courtesy and professionalism
has risen considerably since the days of the underpaid McDonalds rejects
on their own power trips that they had before. I'm sure there's a few out
there that leave a little to be desired .. but over all pretty good.

I've also found that knowing the drill .. belt and shoes off .. laptop out
of
case .. cell phone in carry on .. metal stuff out of your pockets .. jacket
off ..keeps the line moving and keeps them smiling.

From my perspective, if I asked myself what I would change in the
way they do things if I were in charge .. I'd have to say that I have
no ideas on what to change. I think they're doing the best they can.








"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...
We just got back from a Caribbean cruise, so now I can say that I have
taken
that dam ship to Hell (the Maasdam, to be specific). I was most
disappointed
that Martin Hotze was not in Hell. I was told he was away on assignment.

Against all my previous resolutions, we flew commercial down to Fort
Lauderdale. I got to have my cowboy hat x-rayed, belt and shoes removed,
patted about the groin, etc. The pat-down was the most fun I have had in
ten
years.

Coming home was even worse. I got to stand in line for 20 minutes at the
baggage check-in for e-ticket holders who already had printed out their
boarding passes via the internet. Seems an old lady was trying to buy
tickets there, arguing about the weight allowance on her luggage, and
could
not really decide where she wanted to go or when. The wait at the security
checkpoint was even longer. When I finally got to the checker two guys
jumped out of line in front of me, which nearly started an altercation.
The
old lady's long-suffering husband was selected for extended search. You
never know what those 80 year old guys might be up to. I would think that
if
decades of being married to that idiot has not turned him into a terrorist
by now, nothing will.

But the most fun was getting on and off the Maasdam at each port of call.
Here they always had us pass through a metal detector -- even though our
luggage was loaded separately and was waiting for us in out staterooms.
Many
of the passengers were carrying snorkeling and SCUBA gear, including
diving
knives, etc. I have not got the faintest idea what these security people
were looking for, but the wire in the brim of my hat always attracted a
lot
of attention. They allowed my pocket knife and Leatherman tool to pass
without comment. I guess the next time I plan to garrote somebody I will
just have to sneak my wire saw on board with the luggage.

--
Christopher J. Campbell
World Famous Flight Instructor
Port Orchard, WA


If you go around beating the Bush, don't complain if you rile the animals.

keeps the line moving and keeps them smiling.

I've never seen any TSA person smiling at DIA.
I think it's part of the job description.

I've never been to "DIA" .. wherever that might be.


"Blanche" wrote in message
...
keeps the line moving and keeps them smiling.

I've never seen any TSA person smiling at DIA.
I think it's part of the job description.

I've never been to "DIA" .. wherever that might be.


DIA = Denver International Airport

"MLenoch" wrote in message
...

DIA = Denver International Airport


Denver International Airport is DEN, DIA is not a valid location identifier
in the US.

MLenoch wrote:
I've never been to "DIA" .. wherever that might be.


DIA = Denver International Airport

And now for several variations...

DIA = Denver's Imaginary Airport

Mayor "Fed" only imagined Denver needed a new airport... it didn't and
doesn't Stapleton was one of the best airport around for getting into
town, from parking to the gate, from the gate to parking... 3 miles
from downtown Denver. However, Mayor "Fed" got his federal job
at DOT, so DIA did some good... it got "Fed" out of Denver!

DIA = "Done in August... no, Done in April, no Done in August",
as the delays went on and on...

Even so, before DIA officially opened, we had a General Aviation
fly-in... and I have a picture of my airplane at the jetway for gate
"B37". :-) The universal comment from the GA pilots was "Lets do
this again next weekend"!

Jer/ "Flight instruction and mountain flying are my vocation!" Eberhard

--
Jer/ (Slash) Eberhard, Mountain Flying Aviation, LTD, Ft Collins, CO, USA
CELL/VM: 970 231-6325 CELL Message: (100 char)
EMAIL: WEB: http://www.frii.net/~jer
C-206 N9513G, CFII Airplane & Glider, FAA-DEN Aviation Safety Counselor
CAP-CO Mission&Aircraft CheckPilot, BM218 HAM N0FZD, 197 Young Eagles!