Thermals in hell

All of the recent posts about hell got me to thinking about the possible
strength of thermals in hell.



If hell is infinitely hot, even with the eventual melting and
disintegration of the glider, would we not be able to climb fast enough
to escape hell (another example of a 'low save').





So anyway, I got to thinking about the old chemistry joke that most of
you have read befo





vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv



The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and deathrates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the vo lume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept
the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it
will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

To determine the soarability of hell, one must first view "the sounding
from hell". In fact, I would bet many of us have seen the "sounding
from hell" first hand. This is the skew T you pull up after being busy
for 2 weeks with work, family, home repairs, etc., and you are finally
able to make the trip to the gliderport to fly. You realize on your
one day off, nothing is going to rise through that airmass.
Of course the other bad tale is the "retrieve from hell", but that is
the subject of another thread. Good soaring everybody.
Bill H.

Dante's hell was composed of several circles and as we all know, any circle
accompanied by that sinking feeling is usually accompanied by a muttered "oh
hell!" A prolonged descent to the nether regions usually results in glider
pilot hell; an outlanding in a muddy field, possibly with a pitchfork-armed
farmer doing an impersonation of the devil.

David Starer


"01-- Zero One" wrote in message
...
All of the recent posts about hell got me to thinking about the possible
strength of thermals in hell.



If hell is infinitely hot, even with the eventual melting and
disintegration of the glider, would we not be able to climb fast enough to
escape hell (another example of a 'low save').





So anyway, I got to thinking about the old chemistry joke that most of you
have read befo





vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv



The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions
that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and deathrates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the vo lume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If
Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given
to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this
theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

It is not that thremals will not exist in hell that is the problem. The
problem will be either:
a/ not being able to get a site check, instructors being segregated
into a different hell from normal soaring pilots. Their hell would be
endless circuits with students who simply do not learn and constantly
kill them again and again;

b/ not being able to get a launch, your hell will be sitting for
enternity in a Duo or DG1000 with no way to launch into those fabulous
thermals.

c/ Getting a check ride and the instructor always going for just one
more check with you....

Sean


--
jorgie
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted via OziPilots Online [ http://www.OziPilotsOnline.com.au ]
- A website for Australian Pilots regardless of when, why, or what they fly -

The problem with soaring in hell is that the Hell Aviation Administration
(HAA) has so much red tape that it is never ok to fly. Even if it was ok to
fly, the flight restrictions are all encompassing. Furthermore, since hell
is one dimensional, there is nowhere to go to.

Although there is lift in most of hell, there must be an equal and opposite
sink. Since the sink has to equal the great lift, it is a very high
velocity negative column that would tear the wings off of any of the craft
that make it there.

But, what do you have to lose at that point?

Colin

COLIN LAMB wrote:
The problem with soaring in hell is that the Hell Aviation Administration
(HAA) has so much red tape that it is never ok to fly. Even if it was ok to
fly, the flight restrictions are all encompassing. Furthermore, since hell
is one dimensional, there is nowhere to go to.

Although there is lift in most of hell, there must be an equal and opposite
sink. Since the sink has to equal the great lift, it is a very high
velocity negative column that would tear the wings off of any of the craft
that make it there.

But, what do you have to lose at that point?

Yeah, what the hell.

Shawn