EPIRB, ELT or Satellite Phone in USA?

My experiences with light aircraft, aviation-related Search and Rescue
operations in the contiguous USA coupled with the recent near-tragedy
in the Appalachians leads me to believe that one might be better
served with a Satellite phone in most circumstances common to gliders
- landouts or semi-controlled wrecks far from help.

EPRIB's and SATPhones will not be useful in uncontrolled or sudden
crashes but ELT's are apparently far from reliable and the rescues
that are mounted vary widely in terms of professionalism and
expediancy. One might be better served directly contacting parties
who are competent and devoted to your survival.

Anyone have stat's on ELT / EPIRB aviation related rescues?

I appreciate your input.

(Copy of part of the personal e-mail response.)

Comm devices listed by my perceived use in dire circumstances:

VHF Radio (+ backup)
SatPhone
Cell Phone
Epirb
A/C mounted ELT

Add: Smoke and mirrors.

Another possibly usable technology is the personal band radio with
GPS. It's small enough to carry on the parachute strap or in a pouch
or pocket. But it's only good for fine tuning the rescue when within 5
miles or so, and if the response team has the same radios!
I have changed to a square parachute to help in both the choice of
landing areas and dealing with landing in up to about 20 MPH of wind.
You should not fly with a square chute unless trained.
In Australia the FLARM has been used by tow pilots to find their
retrieve. If still functioning after a crash it is very useful to the
response team who can also carry one.
Jim