Let's run the FAA like the airlines!

The New and Enlightened Federal Aviation Administration of
the Bush Administration has stated on many occasions they
want to run more like a "Business" and be more receptive
to the airlines and the airline business model. Really? OK

IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60
different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3
weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before
Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be *&%#@* kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We
sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend.
Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $16.
We don't have any more $12 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of
times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of
the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I
suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How
many gallons do you want?
Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll
have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and
don't use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation
of the paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen,
bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting
before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining
gallons of paint.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I
already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint
is used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of
problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible
happens if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes
the $200 paint.
Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a
liter" signs?
Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in
half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The
second half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the
cans have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds,
even on the empty cans.
Customer: To heck with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere
else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint
for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining
room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint your
connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I
should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one
direction, it will be $300 a gallon.
Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at
which you started. A hallway is different.
Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only
paint in one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint?
Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the
difference on your next gallon of paint. But I believe
you're getting it now, sir.
Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United!

This is a timeline of bankruptcies affecting airlines which
are still currently operating.

* August 11, 2002 - US Airways enters protection
* December 9, 2002 - United Airlines under protection
* April 1, 2003 - Air Canada files
* September 30, 2004 - Air Canada emerges
* September 14, 2005 - Northwest Airlines files
* September 14, 2005 - Delta Air Lines files, putting 4
of the top 7 carriers in the United States under bankruptcy
protection
* September 27, 2005 - US Airways emerges, in
conjunction with its acquisition by America West
* February 1, 2006 - United Airlines emerges
* April 30, 2007-Delta Airlines emerges
* May 31,2007-Northwest Airlines emerges


Defunct Airlines in the United States

* AAXICO Airlines (1946 - 1965, to Saturn Airways)
* Access Air (1998 - 2001)
* ADI Domestic Airlines
* Aeromech Airlines (1951 - 1983, to Wright Airlines)
* Air America (owned and operated by the CIA in
SouthEast Asia)
* Air America (1980s)
* Air Atlanta (1981 - 88)
* Airborne Express (1946 - 2003, to DHL)
* Air California, later AirCal (1967 - 87, to American
Airlines)
* Air Chaparral (1980 - 82)
* Air Florida (1972 - 84)
* Air Hawaii (ceased operations in 1986)
* Air Illinois
* Airlift International (1946 - 81)
* Air New England (1975 - 81)
* Air New Orleans (1981 - 88)
* Air Niagara
* Air North (1963 - 1983, to Brockway Air)
* Air Oregon
* Air South (1968 - 1975, to Florida Airlines; 1994 - 1997)
* Air Speed (1974)
* Air Vegas (1971 - 2004)
* Airways of New Mexico
* Albany Air
* All American Aviation Company (became US Airways)
* Allegheny Airlines (became US Airways)
* American Flyers Airline
* American International Airways
* American Overseas Airlines (1945 - 1950) merged into
Pan American World Airways
* Arista International Airlines
* Arizona Airways
* Arizona Airways (1993-1996)
* Aroostook Airways
* Aspen Airways (1962 - 1990)
* Atlantic Coast Airlines (1989 - 2004, to Independence
Air)
* Atlantic Gulf Airlines
* Bar Harbor Airlines (1971 - 1992)
* Business Express Airlines to American Eagle
* Boeing Air Transport (1927 - 1930) to United Airlines
* Bonanza Air Lines (1945 - 1968, to Hughes Airwest)
* Braniff (1991 - 1992)
* Braniff Inc. (1983 - 1990)
* Braniff International Airways (1928 - 1982)
* Britt Airways (1976 - 1987)
* Brockway Air
* CalPac (California Pacific) (1993 - 1995 to Mesa
Airlines)
* Cal Sierra Airlines (1980)
* Cape Smythe Air (1975 - 2005, to Frontier Flying Service)
* Capitol Air Lines (1970s - 1980s)
* Capital Airlines (1936 - 1961, to United Airlines)
* Capitol Airways (1946 - 1982)
* Caribbean Sun (2002 - 2007)
* Carnival Air Lines
* Cascade Airways (1969 - 1986)
* Catalina Airlines (1940 - 1969)
* CCAir
* Centennial Airlines
* Central Airlines (1944 - 1967)
* Challenge Air Cargo (1978 - 2001)
* Chicago Air
* Chicago and Southern Air Lines (1934 - 1953)
* Chicago Express Airlines (1993 - 2005)
* Coastal Airways (1929 -1930)
* Cochise Airlines
* Colgan Airways (1971 - 1986, to Presidential Airways,
revived 1991, and currently operating as Continental
Express, United Express, and US Airways Express: see
http://www.colganair.com)
* Colonial Air Transport (1926 - 1930)
* Command Airways
* Crown Airways (1969 - 1992 to Mesa Airlines)
* Curtiss Flying Service (1929 - 1932)
* Delta Express (1996-2003: replaced by Song; folded
back into Delta Air Lines)
* Desert Sun Airlines (1995 - 1997 to Mesa Airlines)
* Eastern Air Lines (1926 - 1991)
* Eastwind Airlines
* Emerald Air (1978 - 1991)
* Emery Worldwide Airlines (1977 - 2003)
* Empire Airlines (1976 - 1985, to Piedmont)
* Eureka Areo (c. 1976 - 1979)
* Falcon Air Express (1995 - 2007)
* Fine Air (1989 - 2004)
* Florida Coastal Airlines (ceased operations 2006)
* FloridaGulf Airlines (1991 - 1997, to Air Midwest)
* Flying Tiger Line (1945 - 1988, to Federal Express)
* Freelandia
* Frontier Airlines (1950 - 1986)
* Galaxy Airlines
* Global International Airways (1981 - ?)
* Golden Pacific Airlines (1981 - 1988)
* Golden West Airlines
* Great Plains Airlines (2001 - 2004)
* Gulf Air Transport (1979 - 1990)
* Hooters Air (2003 - 2006)
* Hughes Airwest (1968 - 1980, to Republic Airlines)
* Imperial Airlines (1964 - 1986)
* Independence Air (2004 - 2006)
* Indigo Airlines
* Intermountain Airlines
* Jet Express
* Key Airlines
* Kitty Hawk Airways
* Kitty Hawk International (to Kalitta Air)
* Kiwi International Air Lines
* L'Express Airlines (1989-1992)
* Lake Central Airlines (1949 - 1968, to Allegheny
Airlines)
* Lakeland Airlines (1980 - 1984)
* Las Vegas Airlines (1973 - 1987)
* Legend Airlines (1996 - 2000)
* Liberty Express Airlines ((1994 - 1997, to Air Midwest)
* Lone Star Airlines
* Mackey Airlines (1957 - 1981)
* Maddux Airlines (1927 - 1929, to Transcontinental Air
Transport)
* Mahalo Air (1993 - 1997)
* Mall Airways (1973 - 1989, to Business Express)
* MarkAir (1947 - 1995)
* Marquette Airlines (to Trans World Airlines)
* Mayflower Airlines (1936 - ?)
* MetroJet
* Mexus Airlines
* MGM Grand Air
* MidAtlantic Airways (2002 - 2006)
* Mid-Continent Airlines (1928 - 1952, to Braniff)
* Mid Pacific Air (1981 - 1988)
* Mid-State Airlines (1964 - ?, to Sentry Airlines)
* Midway Airlines (1979 - 1991 and 1993 - 2003)
* Mississippi Valley Airlines (1969 - 1985)
* Modern Air Transport
* Mohawk Airlines (1952 - 1988, to Allegheny Airlines)
* Morris Air to Southwest Airlines
* Mountain Air Express
* Mountain West Airlines (1995 - 1997 to Mesa Airlines)
* Muse Air to Southwest Airlines
* National Airlines (1929 - 1980, to Pan American World
Airways)
* National Airlines (1983 - 1986)
* National Airlines/Private Jet Expeditions (1994 - 1995)
* National Airlines (1999 - 2002)
* National Air Transport (1926 - 1930)
* Nations Air Express (1994-1998)
* New England & Western Air Transportation Co. (1930)
* New York Air (1980 - 1986, to Continental Airlines)
* New York Airways (1949 - 1979)
* New York, Rio, and Buenos Aires Line (to Pan American
World Airways)
* North Central Airlines (1939 - 1979)
* Northeast Airlines (1940 - 1972, to Delta Air Lines)
* Overseas National Airways (1950 - 1978)
* Ozark Airlines (1943 - 1986, to Trans World Airlines)
* Pacific Air Lines (1958 - 1968, to Hughes Airwest)
* Pacific Air Transport (1926 - 1927)
* Pacific Alaska Airways (1973 - 1986)
* Pacific East Airlines (ceased operations 1984)
* Pacific Southwest Airlines (PSA) (1945 - 1987, to USAir)
* Pan American Airways (1996-1998)
* Pan American Airways (1998-2004)
* Pan American-Grace Airways (Panagra) (1928 - 1967, to
Braniff International Airways)
* Pan American World Airways (1927 - 1991)
* Paradise Island Airlines
* People Express (1981 - 1987, to Continental Airlines)
* Piedmont Airlines (1940 - 1989, to USAir)
* Pioneer Airlines
* Planet Airways (????- June 8, 2005, speculation only
at this point in time)
* Potomac Air
* Presidential Airways (1985 - 1989)
* Private Jet Expeditions (???? - 1995)
* Pride Air (August 1985 - November 1985)
* Pro Air (1997 - 2000)
* Provincetown-Boston Airlines
* Ransome Airlines (1967 - 1986)
* Reeve Aleutian Airways (1932 - 2001)
* Regent Air
* RegionsAir (1996 - 2007)
* Reno Air (1990 - 99, to American Airlines)
* Republic Airlines (1979 - 1986, to Northwest Airlines)
* Rich International Airways (1971 - 1996)
* Rio Airways (1970 - 1987)
* Robertson Air Service
* Rocky Mountain Airways (1964 - 1986)
* Samoa Air (American Samoa, ceased operations in 2003)
* Saturn Airways (1960 - 76, to Trans International
Airlines)
* Seaboard World Airlines (1946 - 80, to Flying Tiger Line)
* Shuttle by United and United Shuttle (1994 - 2001)
* Slick Airways (1946-1965)
* Song (2003-April 30th, 2006 Merged back in with its
parent company, Delta Air Lines)
* South Pacific Island Airways (SPIA) (American Samoa,
ceased operations in 1987)
* Southeast Airlines (1992 - 2004)
* Southern Air Transport
* Southern Airways (1943 - 1979, to Republic Airlines)
* Southern Jersey Airways
* Southwest Airways (1946 - 58, renamed Pacific Air Lines)
* Standard Airlines (1926 - 30) 1927 subsidiary of Aero
Corp. of Ca., In 1930, bought by Western Air Express, thru
merger with TAT became TWA, Transcontinental & Western Air,
Trans World Airlines
* StatesWest Airlines (1986-1993)
* SunCoast Airlines (?-1988)
* Sun West Airlines
* Sunworld International Airlines (? - 2004)
* Superior Airlines (1993 - 1995 to Mesa Airlines
* Swift Aire Lines (1969 - 1981)
* TAG Airlines
* TAT - Maddux Air Lines (1928 - 30)
* Tennessee Airways
* Texas Air
* Texas Trans Air
* Texas International Airlines (1944 - 1986, to
Continental Airlines)
* The Hawaii Express (1982 - 1983)
* Tower Air (1983 - 2000)
* Trans Air (1979 -1985)
* Transamerica Airlines (1948 - 1986)
* Transcontinental Air Transport (1928 - 1930, TWA)
* TransMeridian Airlines (1995 - 2005)
* Trans International Airlines (1947 - 1986)
* TranStar Airlines (1981 - 1987)
* Trans-Colorado Airlines
* Trans-Texas Airways
* Trans World Airlines (1930 - 2001, to American Airlines)
* Trans World Express
* Trump Shuttle (1989 - 1991, to US Airways)
* UltrAir (1993)
* Universal Airlines (US Cargo Operator 1966 - 1972, to
Trans International Airlines)
* ValuJet Airlines (1993 - 1997, to AirTran Airways)
* Vanguard Airlines (1994 - 2002)
* Varney Airlines to United Airlines
* WestAir Commuter Airlines
* West Coast Airlines (1940s - 1968, to Hughes Airwest)
* Western Airlines (1925 - 1987, to Delta Air Lines)
* Western Pacific Airlines (ceased operations 1998)
* Westward Airways (2002 - 2005)
* Wien Air Alaska
* Wilmington - Catalina Air Line
* WinAir Airlines (1998 - 1999)
* Wings Airways
* Wright Airlines
* Zantop Air Transport
* Zantop Flying Service
* Zantop International Airlines